Morning Coffee (32)

Gutentag;

I expected to come in this morning with an inbox full of complaints that the Morning Coffee hadn't been delivered in a timely fashion, but no one said a word. Well, I came in late today. Why? Because I didn't feel well. But, when do I?

On my way in, it appeared as though the police were looking for someone. They had a couple of roads blocked off, which made my commute a real pain. Surprisingly I found my way to work with little trouble. I guess dead reckoning works sometimes. The real problem with coming in late around here is parking. If you come in after 0700, good luck. You're parking at least a half mile out. However, Fortuna smiled upon me today, and I found a parking spot only 1/4 of a mile out. See how good she is to me? I guess I can't complain. No, actually I can. I curse Fortuna and her worthless pity-smiles.

As a follow up to a piece last week: the UN is urging circumcisions in southern Africa. Chief circumcision proponent Dr. Peter Piot says, "These countries should now prepare to introduce circumcision on a large scale. The science is clear." I will disagree with the respected Peter (no pun intended). I think the science is opaque at best. See, circumcision might lower the risk of contracting HIV or AIDS, but it's still very possible to get it. What works better than slicing off a part of your anatomy? I know, I know, pick me! Condoms. Condoms protect not only the men (and their foreskin) but the women. Imagine that? This study suggests to me that women aren't really all that important. It's the men that need to be protected. It's ignoring the issue. AIDS kills, and it will not stop killing simply because you forcibly remove the foreskin from millions of men in Africa. It will kill men, and the men who do contract it, even if it's the alleged 50-60% less men, these men will spread it to women, who, as luck would have it, contract the disease far more easily than men. So, what they're saying is that it's okay for women to die off, but not men. I think the real need is to address the sexual habits and culture of Africans, not mutilate their genitalia. Condoms, abstinence, whatever. But why remove something they're born with? Oh, I know, because our beloved Papacy can't endorse condoms, because it wastes seed, etc, etc. It's simply easier to disfigure people than preach safe sex. One would think that rationale would prevail in the argument against dogmatic lunacy, but when has that absurdity ever transpired? (Inquisition…check…Salem with trials…check…Earth as the center of the universe…check…)

Factory workers sometimes get their fingers, hands and arms stuck in heavy machinery. I suggest that we eliminate this risk by amputating the arms of all factory workers. Desk jockeys sometimes get carpal tunnel. Easy fix: cut off their hands at the forearm. What's that you say? Teach them safety practices that will mitigate risk? Never. The answer is clear. Remove the body parts in question and the problems will go away. I'll do you one better, UN. Just remove these Africans' penises and the AIDS problem will vanish. And then, we'll move on to you. But, you've already had your foreskin removed, so the issue is moot to you, no? We wouldn't want anyone looking different from you now, would we?

Word of the Day: Somniferous (adjective): bringing or inducing sleep, as drugs or influences.
On This Day in History: Three ships, Susan Constant, Godspeed and the Discovery depart England for what will become Jamestown, Virginia. Thus starts the thirteen colonies (1606). Yay for the colonies...

"I'm praying for rain. I'm praying for tidal waves. I wanna see the ground give way. I wanna watch it all go down. I wanna watch it go right in. Watch you flush it all away. Time to bring it down again; don't just call me a pessimist, try and read between the lines. I wanna see it all come down, suck it down, flush it down." - AEnema

You have my solemn oath: tomorrow's Morning Coffee will be a bright, shinning beam of sun-shiny happiness and optimism. But I'm afraid that tomorrow never comes. All you have is today and the remnants of yesterday. See you in tomorrow's today.