You walk into the only
restaurant in the county. You're famished. You haven't eaten in what
seems like days. You sit down, and open the menu. It's printed on
high-quality paper, and there's all sorts of fancy decoration. The
table's are really nice too. And the wait staff is top notch. In other
words, the presentation is impeccable.
However, your menu choices are:
A.) Tuna melt and fries.
B.) Grilled Cheese and fries.
You're really, really hungry, so you order the tuna melt. It's terrible. You can barely stomach it. The mayo is rotten and the tuna tastes like something caught in a Thai toilet. Worse, the fries consist of potato chips left out in the kitchen for three days. And it cost you twenty of your hard earned dollars. The fine print on the menu says, "No Refund."
So, you figure, what the hell, I'm still hungry, so let's try the grilled cheese. No one can screw that up. Oh, and it comes. It looks delicious. The wait staff guarantees that it is the best sandwich ever, and that it will completely eradicate the taste of rancid tuna left over from the first order. All of this, for the low price of $30.
You dig in and are immediately let down. It too, is terrible. The cheese is, strangely, not melted and slightly moldy. It's certainly not what was advertised.
So what do you do? It's the only restaurant in the county. You go back a couple of times, trying both items on the menu, and they never get better.
Let me ask you: Would you keep going back to this restaurant? No, I'm guessing that you would not. At least not until they got a third item on the menu for you to try. Instead, you'd either stop eating out, or drive to the next county.
Our current political system is this restaurant. You have two choices, and both of them taste like the inside of a dead deer's ass. Why do you keep going back to eat it?
In 2008, I did not vote in the presidential election. It was my own little way of protesting this system. Why would I eat a steaming pile of shit given to me on a silver platter and then smile all the way to the cash register, because, well, I gotta eat, right? I wouldn't. I was presented with two equally repulsive candidates. And before you tell me that I should simply vote for the "lesser of two evils," I say, no. I shan't do that under any circumstances. That offends me. If we can sit here and rationalize all the ill in our nation because, despite that ill, "this is still the freest/best country on earth" can we at least not pretend that the empty-headed nimrods that are presented to us as presidential candidates every four years are the best people our nation has to offer? Please? Pretty please with sugar on top? Because they're not, people. Yes, this country may very well be the freest/best nation on earth, but that doesn't mean that because of this we should sit back and relax and let these colossal douche bags beat it to death with huge steel dildos. (Yeah, I'm a lot more lewd than normal; I'm fucking pissed. When I submit this for publication, I'll be sure to make it teen friendly.) Being good is no excuse. Do you know what happens when you fail to maintain "the best?" It because the "used to be the best, but is now just sort of okay" item of discussion.
So, please give me a third choice on the menu of democracy.
Think of voting as the sustenance of civic virtue. But like your real-life diet, you must be careful what you consume. You must be careful on what you cast your vote. Your vote is fucking sacred. It is SACRED. Don't toss it away because you must vote for, for, for SOMEONE!!! Right now, you've only got two choices; one with a D (for dumb fucks) and one with an R (for really fucking stupid). Continued consumption of these two items is sure to make you unhealthy. It sure isn't doing much for our nation, is it?
However, your menu choices are:
A.) Tuna melt and fries.
B.) Grilled Cheese and fries.
You're really, really hungry, so you order the tuna melt. It's terrible. You can barely stomach it. The mayo is rotten and the tuna tastes like something caught in a Thai toilet. Worse, the fries consist of potato chips left out in the kitchen for three days. And it cost you twenty of your hard earned dollars. The fine print on the menu says, "No Refund."
So, you figure, what the hell, I'm still hungry, so let's try the grilled cheese. No one can screw that up. Oh, and it comes. It looks delicious. The wait staff guarantees that it is the best sandwich ever, and that it will completely eradicate the taste of rancid tuna left over from the first order. All of this, for the low price of $30.
You dig in and are immediately let down. It too, is terrible. The cheese is, strangely, not melted and slightly moldy. It's certainly not what was advertised.
So what do you do? It's the only restaurant in the county. You go back a couple of times, trying both items on the menu, and they never get better.
Let me ask you: Would you keep going back to this restaurant? No, I'm guessing that you would not. At least not until they got a third item on the menu for you to try. Instead, you'd either stop eating out, or drive to the next county.
Our current political system is this restaurant. You have two choices, and both of them taste like the inside of a dead deer's ass. Why do you keep going back to eat it?
In 2008, I did not vote in the presidential election. It was my own little way of protesting this system. Why would I eat a steaming pile of shit given to me on a silver platter and then smile all the way to the cash register, because, well, I gotta eat, right? I wouldn't. I was presented with two equally repulsive candidates. And before you tell me that I should simply vote for the "lesser of two evils," I say, no. I shan't do that under any circumstances. That offends me. If we can sit here and rationalize all the ill in our nation because, despite that ill, "this is still the freest/best country on earth" can we at least not pretend that the empty-headed nimrods that are presented to us as presidential candidates every four years are the best people our nation has to offer? Please? Pretty please with sugar on top? Because they're not, people. Yes, this country may very well be the freest/best nation on earth, but that doesn't mean that because of this we should sit back and relax and let these colossal douche bags beat it to death with huge steel dildos. (Yeah, I'm a lot more lewd than normal; I'm fucking pissed. When I submit this for publication, I'll be sure to make it teen friendly.) Being good is no excuse. Do you know what happens when you fail to maintain "the best?" It because the "used to be the best, but is now just sort of okay" item of discussion.
So, please give me a third choice on the menu of democracy.
Think of voting as the sustenance of civic virtue. But like your real-life diet, you must be careful what you consume. You must be careful on what you cast your vote. Your vote is fucking sacred. It is SACRED. Don't toss it away because you must vote for, for, for SOMEONE!!! Right now, you've only got two choices; one with a D (for dumb fucks) and one with an R (for really fucking stupid). Continued consumption of these two items is sure to make you unhealthy. It sure isn't doing much for our nation, is it?
