Morning Coffee (119)

I apologize for Brewing so little of late. There simply hasn’t been much time for the simple pleasures in life, like enjoying Coffee with friends. And being under no less of a time crunch today, let’s just dive in, shall we?

Being Hillary:

It is my assessment that Hillary Clinton now stands no chance of securing the Democratic nomination for President. Prior to the revelation this week that her recollection of her trip to Bosnia in 1996 was somewhat inaccurate, I thought that her chances of getting the nomination were pretty slim, but now there is simply no chance.

For those who aren’t aware, during a 17 March speech, Clinton said of her trip to Bosnia: "I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base." This has been discredited by a number of sources, including the comedian Sinbad who, along with Sheryl Crow was with the then First Lady and Chelsea. The Senator’s version of events was dismembered in a way you rarely see with such a “polished” figure.

Yesterday Clinton was forced to admit she was in err, however, she claims she merely “misspoke.” She told the Philadelphia Daily News editorial board, “I went to 80 countries, you know. I gave contemporaneous accounts, I wrote about a lot of this in my book. You know, I think that, a minor blip, you know, if I said something that, you know, I say a lot of things - millions of words a day - so if I misspoke, that was just a misstatement." Just a misstatement. No biggie. Sorry ‘bout that.

It may sound odd to those who are familiar with my impressive cynicism, but I don’t necessarily think that Clinton purposefully mischaracterized those events. It’s well possible that she is convinced that things happened that way, or some way similar. It was probably the first time she’d ever been in a remotely dangerous situation, and surely the first time she’d ever landed in a military aircraft in an area that could be hostile. I think the part of her account where she was asked to go into the armored portion of the cockpit was verified. If they asked her to do that, it’s reasonable to believe that it highly influenced her subconscious, and the hectic moving around she did, accompanied with the time zone difference and jet lag might have reinforced the hurried, panicky flurry of activity she witnessed on the military base that’s associated with any high-level visit. She might have gotten the wrong impression, and jumped to conclusions.

I’m not in any way apologizing for her behavior, or giving her a pass, because she could have been less careless. But I don’t think this is any worse, fundamentally, than Obama’s claim of total ignorance at Pastor Wright’s bigotry. Actually, while I find Clinton’s issue more insulting than Obama’s on a personal level (me having been in a combat-ish zone), I find it less of a disqualifier. Obama was, in my mind, completely disingenuous about a relationship spanning years with a man who he considers to be an uncle. Obama had to have known, somehow, that some of Wright’s sermons were as they were. I simply do not accept the excuse that he never heard Wright say anything. It’s absurd. He is lying. I don’t believe in guilt by association, necessarily, but the man lied. Clinton lied too, but her lies could be attributed to the typical problem with eye-witnesses: she remembered wrong because she was in a state of heightened stress. This doesn’t excuse it, but it doesn’t completely freak me out.

It is also possible that she misrepresented the truth for political gain, of course. But it seems like an obscenely rookie mistake by a campaign that is supposed to be so polished. This is why I am hesitant to believe that it was her attempting to gain more credibility in the national security realm (as if being shot by snipers is to gain instant credibility).

Having said that, the Obama campaign will not let it go, I’m sure. It will be an issue. And I think it simply adds to the animosity felt towards Clinton by the public, and rightly so.

I remember Clinton’s “sniper fire” story surfacing a while ago, but oddly, I haven’t seen any mention it’s surfacing prior to 17 March. Actually, Obama’s campaign was so kind to find several prior Clinton utterances of the event, as told in this article.

Pathetically, that’s all I have time for, and it was little more than rambling. It’s too bad, since there’s so much to talk about, like this, and this.

Word of the Day: Misnomer (noun): 1. The misnaming of a person in a legal instrument, as a complaint or indictment. 2. Any misnaming of a person or thing; also, a wrong or inapplicable name or designation. For example, it is a misnomer to call a politician a schmuck, when he’s actually a putz.

On This Day in History: Iwo Jima is declared secure by US forces, “ending” over a month of combat operations (1945). Despite this declaration, three thousand Japanese soldiers remained alive in the island’s maze of caves. Some committed suicide, others eventually surrendered. Two men, Yamakage Kufuku and Matsudo Linsoki, held out for six years, surrendering only in 1951. That is amazing. Ground is broken for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial (1982). Today is also the alleged birthday of Zoroaster, who could have lived as far back as the 6^th century BCE.

“I need a new job.” – Anonymous.

Morning Coffee (118)

Bona Dea, can you believe that March is in its 20^th day already? I believe today is the vernal equinox, which would make today the first day of spring. I think that also means that I need to sacrifice a sheep or something to the many evil, pagan gods we atheists worship. I’ll have to check my Necronomicon and Book of the Dead when I get home. I shan’t shirk my sacrificial duties.

Let’s see…what’s happening today. Oh, Usama bin Ladin released his newest EP today, called “To All My Martys in the FATA, Or Federally Administered Tribal Areas for Those Thugs Who Don’t Know.” Sounds long, but it’s best read in the original Arabic. Nevertheless, “FATA” shows that the Islam-West battle is still raging, and through Usama’s acerbic hooks can you tell that the feud is showing no signs of letting up. For example, in the enchanting, droning rap, “Slammin’ the Pope” bin Ladin sings “Gonna grab ya by your funny robe and throw ya down, then stomp on ya till your pulp stains the groun’.” One must ask, what will the Pope’s Posse reply with? My favorite tune is, “Gonna build me an IED, What, WHAT!” This tune has a driving drum beat which will surely blow up in all the dance clubs in Pashtunistan. The title track, “All My FATA Martyrs” might be the most ambitious of the songs. In it, Usama attempts to weave the Hadith with the names of, well, all the martyrs. Problem is, there are only like five different names, so the variety is a bit lacking. Overall, I’d give “TAMMITFATA” three and a half stars out of five.

Okay, give me a break, this isn’t Pulitzer Prize winning journalism here. I try to keep it interesting. Current events are hard when you’ve got to compete with “Lost” and “American Idol.”

In all seriousness, bin Ladin did release a new tape. Or the message has been attributed to bin Ladin; who knows if he actually did it or not. Anyway, in it, he condemns/slams Europe, the US, and the Pope. He primarily discussed the whole cartoon bit of 2005/2006, as apparently a dozen or so newspapers in Denmark have reprinted those cartoons. By the way, one Danish cartoonist is still in hiding, and several people plotting to kill him were recently arrested. In my opinion, this new tape is a shining example of glorious hypocrisy. For example, Usama says that those cartoons mocked Islam’s founder and violated “the etiquettes of dispute and fighting.” Seriously, he really said that. I guess he forgot about, you know, flying planes into buildings containing civilians. If we count that as within the bounds of etiquette, how about using mentally disabled women as suicide bombers? What about telling a man he must drive a delivery to a certain location or you’ll kill his entire family, but in reality, you’re going to blow up his car with him in it? Is that etiquette enough? Usama bin Ladin is one to lecture on the etiquette of fighting. The only etiquette al-Qaida follows in fighting and disputing are the rules they adhere to when it suits them. He then followed that gem up with, “the laws of men which clash with the legislation of Allah the Most High are null and void, aren’t sacred, and don’t matter to us.” Mother of god the puerile intellect of the man is startling, no? I have no problem agreeing with this statement, so long as we can say the same. “The laws of Allah the Not-So Merciful which clash with the laws of reason are null and void, aren’t sacred, don’t matter to us, and best left in the 13^th century where they belong.” We’ll agree to disagree. Meanwhile, we should not fear those who purport peace and tolerance while throwing bricks through windows of Danish businesses because of some cartoons. Bin Ladin and his friends are welcome to enforce their archaic rules in their lands; our lands are by their nature exempt from such rules.

Obama’s Pastoral Gaff:

Some people have asked me what I think of the issue that has recently come up about Obama’s pastor, who has given sermons which one might describe as divisive. Well, what I think has already been opined by a plethora of pundits, that being that it seems impossible to believe that he didn’t know or hear about the things that Wright had said, even if he wasn’t in sermons in which Wright said those things. But Obama responded as he usually does; by giving a powerful performance in the form of a very eloquent speech. Kudos to him. It doesn’t change the fact that his spiritual advisor said some pretty damning things. I hate to mess with racial issues, but if a white pastor were to say those things, I think the response would have been obvious. Mort Kondracke wrote a decent article on the issue here, but you could easily read about it just about anywhere or by doing a little searching. Mort always seems to get run over when he’s on Brit Hume’s show on Fox News (not that I’ve watched Fox or any news in a long time), but he’s a pretty good writer.

The thing of it is, this issue might have been deadly to Obama were it revealed six months ago, or even three. But he’s got a lot of momentum now, and frankly, his numbers are virtually insurmountable. That sort of sucks. I’d hate to think that we might elect someone whose entire message of bringing people together was an absolute falsity, and we found out about it, but were unable to do anything about it because it was too late to change in the moronic primary system. Ho hum, another day in paradise.

Another short one today folks. For that, I apologize. Hopefully you’ve been entertained for a few minutes anyway.

Word of the Day: Acerbic (adjective): Sharp, biting, or acid in temper, expression, or tone.

On This Day in History: The Roman poet Ovid, who wrote a great deal about love, was born (43 BCE). Napoleon enters Paris after escaping Elba. With him he brings an army of 140,000 regulars and 200,000 volunteers (1815). Talk about charisma. Upon his return to France, he approached the 5^th Regiment, which was ordered to meet his return and prevent it, alone and upon dismounting his horse said, “Soldiers of the Fifth, you recognize me. If any man would shoot his emperor, he may do so now.” Their reply was not gunfire, but “Vive L’Empereur!” French minister Richelieu, notorious in his own right, said in anger after hearing of Napoleon’s visitors while in exile on St. Helena, “this devil of a man exercises an astonishing seduction on all those who approach him.” Despite this, he basically demolished France’s standing as a world power. Harriet Beecher Stowe’s Uncle Tom’s Cabin was published (1852). Albert Einstein publishes the general theory of relativity (1916). A sarin gas attack, perpetrated by the cult Aum Shinrikyo, killed 12 and wounded 1,300 (1995).

“Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence.” – Napoleon Bonaparte.

Morning Coffee (117)

Good Coffee to you. The week is almost over, thank the gods. Spring is sort of in the air and that's a good thing. By spring, I mean billions of tiny water droplets. These droplets seem to have begun to accumulate in the soil and the rivers and now those droplets seem to be turning into one homogenous mass of water that keeps rising up as if in protest of the thing we call life.

As I was walking through a parking lot this morning, I got to thinking about disabled people and handicapped spaces. As the heavens poured down upon me sweet holy water, I glanced over and saw those handicapped parking spaces with envy. Right next to those spaces was this huge gazebo, and in it were all the folks that use those spaces. Do you know what they were doing? They were having a party, confetti and all. They were laughing and smiling, and many of them were pointing at me with a look of glee. I sheepishly kept walking, shamed at my shortcomings. Then I realized that it was likely a migraine induced hallucination. But I couldn’t shake the thought that those spaces represented some sort of exclusive club; one that allowed its members to minimize their exposure to the torrential rains and winds of nature. For a moment, I contemplated taking a 12 gauge shotgun slug and inserting it into my knee the same way mobsters did to guys that owed them money, but I quickly realized that would be to drastically overreact. I then thought that perhaps once or twice a year we make those lucky few endure the nastiness of nature. No, I didn’t intend to make them park in B.F.E. for that would be cruel; they’re disabled after all and making them walk such distances could only be considered cruel and unusual. They get to park close not to avoid rain and sleet and wind and hail, but because it is difficult to walk such distances. Instead, in the spirit of socialism, it should be necessary for them to stand or sit outside their cars for approximately the same amount of time it would take a non-disabled person walking extremely briskly (as non-disabled people do when it is pouring rain down in Niagara Falls sized sheets) to get inside.

We are now exiting the satire express.

I Ain't Got Time to Bleed:

Four words: Jesse. The Body. Ventura. That's right. I said it. The original action star/governor might just run for President. His new book, "Don't Start the Revolution Without Me!" due out in April (the first no less), discusses the pros and cons of running. He discusses a conversation that he had with Robert Kennedy Jr. about running together on an independent, third party ticket. Vince McMahon, chairman of the WWE, has told Ventura that he'd back him 100%. Hey, why not? This whole Presidential election cycle thing is already a circus; why not add a little spice? I will say though, I've seen Kennedy speak, and I actually quietly got up and left in the middle. I hate to do that, but let's just say I wasn't picking up what he was laying down.

I really know nothing about Ventura's politics, but his choice of running mate is pretty telling. Actually, I know virtually nothing about Ventura at all. The only thing I remember him saying in any movie are two lines from Predator: "I'm a sexual Tyrannosaurus," and "I ain't got time to bleed." Well Jesse, you ain't got much time to run either, so you'd better hurry up and decide so I can not vote for you.

No Money for You:

Because we’re a low-brow publication, I might as well update you on Ms. Ashley Alexandra Dupre of Eliot Spitzer fame. Ms. Dupre was offered a bunch of money ($1 million) to pose for Hustler, but publisher Larry Flynt didn’t think he’d be able to get her because of all the media attention; he figured she’d get more money elsewhere. But more interestingly, Girls Gone Wild asked her to pose, non-nude, in its new magazine and then follow the GGW bus around for a while. The offer was $1 million. But at a GGW staff meeting (who knew they did staff meetings…wonder what those are like) someone suggested that they check the ole archives. Hey, no better excuse to look at some porn at work. So they did. Guess what they found. Ms. Dupre. Back in 2003. Riding on the old GGW bus for a full and getting naked and doing some same-sex encounters. Needless to say, they rescinded their offer and quickly posted excerpts of her videos on their website. I’ll bet if she could go back in time, she’d tell her old self not to get all weird after getting thrown out of her hotel that night.

Some sources state a NY Daily News reporter tipped off Francis.

GGW founder Joe Francis said, “It’ll save me a million bucks. It’s like finding a winning lottery ticket in the cushions of your couch. We actually had been dealing with her rep…” He’s going to make mad cash and he won’t have to do anything but dredge up some old footage. Jackpot.

That’s all that we have time for folks.

Word of the Day: Amanuensis (noun): A person employed to take dictation or to copy manuscripts.

On This Day in History: Eight American airplanes take off in pursuit of Pancho Villa. This would be the first US air combat mission in history (1916). The 99^th Pursuit Squadron, also known as the Tuskegee Airmen, was activated. This unit was the first all-black unit of the Army Air Corps (1941). Hitler issues his Nero Decree, ordering all industries, shops, transportation facilities and others to be destroyed (1945). C-SPAN broadcasts House of Representative business for the first time (1979).

“Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.” – H.L. Mencken.

Morning Coffee (116)

An Ode to a Moll

Dear Kristen-Ashley-Alexandra-Dupre-Youmans:

The world has waited with baited breath, to see the woman whose skills hath wrest

The Governor from the Empire State. With modern media, we barely had to wait.

Here you are for all to see, GASP! You’re but a mere person just like me.

I had expected an incarnation of Aphrodite, in a negligee or perhaps a nighty.

But regrettably, that is not so, and on your myspace page trolls you a ho.

You’re so youthful and hopeful and full of angst, and wishing of a career in music, even if it tanks.

A thousand an hour you’re surely not worth, but let’s just say, I suppose I’ve seen worse.

Yours truly,

The Morning Coffee

Behold, the first ever poem to be written by the staff of the MC. So delicious. The subject matter is peculiar. As soon as we began to get over our faux shock of the Spitzer fiasco, we all wanted to know who this ‘Kristen’ girl was. Come now, be honest with yourself. We all wanted to know who the woman was who “brought low the Governor of New York.” I must say that I think she’s given far too much credit in this affair (pun), for the blame for bringing low Mr. Spitzer rests solely on Mr. Spitzer. Nevertheless, we knew, of course, that it would be a matter of days, if not hours, before young Kristen’s picture was all over the internet. And it was. She’s now very well known. She’s a Myspace page which showcases her (terrible) song. If you can’t access that page from your present location (many places of employment block Myspace), you can see the young lady HERE. I must say, I expected more from a “VIP Escort Service” for the young lady, for all her womanly charms and looks, is most certainly not worth $1,000 an hour. No way. Not even $200 an hour. But hey, I’m not rich. Writing the MC doesn’t pay enough for me to be able to afford high-priced hookers, er, escorts.

You can read all about her HERE (if you so choose). Her’s was a life of difficulty, blah, blah, blah, who cares, blah, blah. Bob Loblaw can write about it in his Law Blog if he wants. The bottom line is that this girl was not a victim, nor was she an evil predator. She is simply a girl trying to make money. So what? I don’t care about her whinny BS any more than I care about her music. Nevertheless, she’ll probably get a book deal out of it, or perhaps a recording contract (perhaps I need to get into the escort business). One would think, however, that her vocal style would be better with influences like the regal Etta James.

Anyway, Spitzer resigned and what not, and he’s now going to focus on his family. Utterly laughable. He has to focus on his family because no one else will touch the guy, not even the call girls. They know if they do that, they’re pictures will be all over the New York Times, and it’s hard being a high-priced call girl with that sort of publicity. What angers me most about Mr. Spitzer is not so much the fornication with prostitutes, but the hypocrisy of his life and the cheating on his wife (still in poet mode). If he wasn’t a vehement attack dog against this very sort of behavior while the Attorney General…It’s funny when the morality police are less moral than the average citizen.

What is inconceivable to me, however, is this talk that he shouldn’t be brought up on charges because he was forced to resign, as if that’s punishment enough. Serving the people is a privilege, and self-revocation of such a privilege is not a punishment for breaking the law. You do not get to avoid prosecution simply by giving up your office. Not only did Spitzer tout such a high moral code, but as an elected official, he should be held to the same standards, legally, as you or I…at a minimum. Sure, it’s unfortunate that such a “promising” politician has had to leave office, but it’s a monster of his own creation. And now he should face whatever charges we might face. There’s the possibility of tax fraud, of course. How about the Mann Act, which forbids the transportation of a person across state lines for the purpose of prostitution? You or I’d be charged with it. And you know what? Many of us would have to give up our jobs too.

I just realized that I’ve spent half a page discussing Eliot Spitzer’s fall from grace. Surely there are more important things to discuss. I hope my lovely poem gets me some slack.

Wacky Snow:

Since I’ve spent the majority of my time discussing the absurd, I might as well tell you that Montreal is the proud owner of one 80 foot high pile of snow that, unless broken up, will still largely be there next winter. That’s a lot of snow.

Uh…Wow:

In keeping with the absurd (it’s a theme today), we move onto Pam Babcock, a 35 year old woman who decided one day that she was going to sit on a toilet seat and not get up. For two years. Her skin actually grew around the seat. Pam suffered from a phobia, as a result of being struck in her childhood, and the bathroom was her safe area. She wouldn’t leave, and her boyfriend took care of her, all the while trying to convince her to get up and leave. She’d say, “Maybe tomorrow.” I’ve got to hand it to Pam, though. I am compelled to get up after about five minutes, tops. Hers is an example of endurance even monks would be envious of.

Word of the Day: Rodomontade (rod-uh-muhn-TADE) (noun): Vain boasting; empty bluster; pretentious, bragging speech; rant.

On This Day in History: Uranus was discovered by William Herschel (1781). Alexander II of Russia is killed by a hand-tossed bomb (1881). A Tennessee law prohibiting the teaching of evolution is enacted (1925).

“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates.

Morning Coffee (115)

Greetings. In the interest of keeping this edition the MORNING Coffee, I’ll get right to it.

People Suspect Vote Worthless; People Right All Along:

A little boy named Florida wanted to hold his Halloween party earlier than the rest of his class, as did a little girl named Michigan. The rest of the class said that if they could not, and if they defied the class, well, then all the candy they got would be taken away and none of it would count in the Big Candy Challenge after the party date. Florida and Michigan went ahead and held their party earlier, but some attendees were disappointed in the selection of activities; what one would normally expect at a Halloween party wasn’t there. At Michigan’s party, there was only one activity to choose from because the organizers, in cahoots with the rest of the class, wouldn’t allow any other activities from which to choose. Nevertheless, the party went off fairly well, and the kids got their candy. But remember…the candy can’t count.

Sounds absurd doesn’t it? Well it is; it’s a parody of a very real situation. And this situation provides a wonderful example of why the whole primary/caucus system is broken. Worse, it’s stupid. Because the Democratic parties in Michigan and Florida wanted to hold their primaries earlier than Iowa, the Democratic National Committee (DNC) told them that their delegates would not count. Thus, peoples’ votes in those two states do not count. If party leaders are miffed, they can make your vote meaningless.

But now, the nomination for the Democratic candidate is a close race. So some people want the Michigan/Florida contests to count. There’s talk of a redo. Or a mail-in vote. Who knows. But some people still don’t want the delegates from those states to count, because they feel slighted that the party officials from those states would dare defy the mighty DNC.

Surely I needn’t point out to you why this whole situation is obscene. Americans are being denied the right to voice their opinions in the electoral cycle because of the hurt feelings of a bunch of party hacks. Imagine, Democrats, the people who “look out” for the little guy, the common man, the downtrodden, messing with your vote because they’re offended. Look at it this way, they’re just relieving you of the burden. How the hypocrites can sleep at night, I’ve no idea. But it’s worse than something as simple as hypocrisy. Because the votes from Michigan and Florida would largely benefit Hillary Clinton, the Democratic Party is divided as to whether or not those votes should count. Obama supporters would rather they not, but they can’t just come out and say it. Hillary supporters want them to count, but they can’t come out and say why since she agreed to not campaign in those states along with Obama. So…the DNC goes back on its word, looks weak and inept, AND ends up giving support to Hillary...all in the spirit of Democracy.

Don’t get me wrong…the problem isn’t just one for Democrats…

A major problem I have with our present system of nominating candidates is that those states who vote later in the election cycle risk having their citizens’ votes count far less than those states who vote early. For example, Pennsylvania doesn’t hold their primary for another six weeks. The Republican nomination has already been sorted out, so Republicans in PA have no voice in selecting the Republican candidate. It’s surely possible that Clinton could withdraw by then (though highly unlikely in my opinion), thus Democrats in PA have no voice in selecting their candidate. How is this fair? The vote of citizens in Iowa and New Hampshire count far more than do the votes of citizens in Pennsylvania. Are people okay with this? I really do not care if Iowa is a microcosm of Middle America. That doesn’t mean anything to me. I want your vote to count as much as mine, and mine as much as a guy in Des Moines. It sounds like our political parties, of which there are only two viable ones, are saying to us, the citizenry, “all votes are equal, but some are more equal than others.” How Orwellian.

Ethics for Dummies:

Yesterday (Tuesday for the unemployed who lose track of such things) the House of Representatives voted to create an outside ethics office, which is part of Nancy Pelosi’s (D-CA) focus on ethics, etc, etc. This office, which will be called the Office of Congressional Ethics, will have the power to investigate ethical misconduct by Congressmen and women. It will not have the authority to do so in the Senate, however.

I’m actually torn over this; not in principle, but in practice. In principle, our Representatives and other government officials need some sort of sound ethical oversight, which in and of itself is extremely unfortunate. More on that later. But in practice, I’m afraid that Rep. Lamar Smith (R-TX) is right when he says, “It simply adds another layer of bureaucracy on top of an already broken system.” I’m not certain more bureaucracy, and thus more government, is the right solution. And are they telling us that this new system, in which the Speaker appoints three members and the Minority Leader appoints three members, cannot be corrupted? I’m not convinced.

The creation of this office gives me yet another opportunity to discuss term limits. As I mentioned, it is indeed unfortunate that our elected officials are in need of such stern ethical oversight. One would hope (naively) that these people, with whom we entrust great power, would exercise some restraint. But this isn’t the case. As the Elliot Spitzer controversy is once again illustrating, powerful people are frequently hypocrites and frequently believe that they are above the law. I suspect that the longer one serves in a position of power the greater the likelihood that they “cut corners” here and there. This behavior eventually snowballs into bigger ethical failings. I would be interested in seeing a comprehensive study done on this, which compares corruption and unethical behavior in junior representatives with that of senior representatives. An objective study would likely be impossible for a number of reasons, but were it possible I think that it would prove my theory. If it did, then all the more reasons to have term limits. In fact, from my perspective, the only reason not to have term limits is because of a general refusal to relinquish power. Indeed, their reasons would be that they have such a desire to serve that they will do so as long as they are elected. However, the old fashioned check on elected officials, the voter in the official’s district, is no longer that effective. One could, as I do, argue that it is distinctly ineffective. In 1998, 401 of 435 Congressmen of the House sought reelection and all but six were reelected. That is a 98% incumbent success rate for you math geeks. The linked article goes into detail about the “perks” of office for those seeking reelection. Fascinating stuff, really. And all the more reason to have term limits. Constituencies feel that they’re getting the best product, but the system is heavily skewed to favor products already on the market. There’s little chance for fresh ideas and proper turn over to permeate the system. Instead, we’re stuck with stagnation because the incumbent has ample opportunity to control the pace of the fight. Remember, the above figures are for the whole nation, not just a few districts. The incumbent-centric problem is endemic.

The linked article, in its last few paragraphs, argues that the incumbent problem isn’t such a big deal because there is a steady turn over which takes place over the course of several election cycles. I do not find this sufficient reason to allow unlimited terms. Turnover thus takes place at a glacial pace and does nothing to limit those who could be classified as “political animals”, those being supremely efficient at manipulating pubic opinion (and thus being reelected) and dodging ethical constraints.

There is no better argument for term limits other than the simple fact that term limits has such little support among elected officials. Do we not find that slightly curious; perhaps a little self-serving and at odds with the interests of the electorate?

Word of the Day: Coprophilia (noun): An obsessive interest in feces. Editor’s Note: We should amend this definition to include “political news.” Today’s WoD sponsored by a loyal reader. For only 25 euro, you too can sponsor a WoD entry.

On This Day in History: Coca-Cola is sold in bottles for the first time (1894). Moscow becomes the capital of Russia again (1918). St. Petersburg held that status for the previous 215 years. FDR first addresses the nation as President, which became his first Fireside Chat (1933). Scores of people born; a number died.

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.” – Marcus Aurelius.

Morning Coffee (114)

Good Morning. I have decided to enact a complete and total ban on snow, effective immediately, for the next seven months. No need to thank me now. Just enjoy the nice weather. But don’t forget your Morning Coffee.

On occasion, I relate to you little phrases that I find annoying. “Ate his/her lunch” is one such statement. This phrase is used in the follow situation. While discussing Candidate B’s response to a tactic used by Candidate A, a political pundit will say, “He ate her lunch”, meaning that B out-maneuvered A. I always get the image in my head that he sort of pushed her out of her seat and proceeded to devour her lunch while looking at her menacingly out of the corner of his eye. Is this the sort of image we want of our politicians? As ravenous madmen and women running around and eating everyone’s lunch?

Now pardon me while I eat some lunch…figuratively of course.

I’d Like an Ice Cold Glass of Estrogen Water, with a Lemon Wedge:

Ahh…don’t you love those inflammatory headlines? I’m practicing for a gig in tabloid journalism when I retire, so bear with me. Inflammatory or not, the news is that an Associated Press (AP) study has found pharmaceuticals in the drinking water of at least 41 million Americans. You name it, it’s in there: acetaminophen, antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers, sex hormones, anti-epileptics, asthma drugs, drugs for high cholesterol and heart problems. Sounds terrible. I’m no doctor or pharmacist, but when I read something like that, it sort of makes me stop and think for a minute.

Someone might reasonably as, “How did these drugs get into our water supplies?” Some might reasonably recall the days when companies regularly placed into rivers all sorts of chemical waste. This is nothing so nefarious. You put them there. So did your grandfather with a heart condition. You there on the Pill, you too. The fact is, we’ve all put them with a dangerous weapon called urine. You might not have ever thought about it; when you take prescription drugs, your body only absorbs some of it. The rest is passed in your waste. Into the toilet it goes, and then into sewage systems. Then treated it goes into the water table to make its way to rivers and lakes and then evaporates into the air. Then it is rained out into and onto other water systems. In this way, virtually no water is free of this sort of pollution. (Side note: I remember reading about the relatively massive amounts of cocaine in river water in northern Italy a few years ago. Same concept.)

I know what you’re thinking; that the water is treated and that will rid the water of these unwanted drugs. Not the case. Virtually no one tests for prescription drugs and the treatments/filters used do nothing to these drugs. It’s pretty much an invisible issue. Don’t worry though; think of it as a prophylactic like fluoride, but for the heart and mind…or whatever.

The next question is what sort of impact will this have on people and wildlife? No one really knows. It would be reasonable to assume that the impact would be minimal considering that the amounts of any one drug present in the water are so miniscule that it would not adversely affect a person. But remember, these drugs were specifically designed to interact with the human body in small amounts, as the companies that make them realize that a majority of the drug is not absorbed. So this might pose a problem. Problems could arise years later, after cumulative exposure. Or it could be that the tests are so powerful that they can detect drugs even though they would have no affect no humans. Even if this is the case, that these drugs would have no adverse affects whatsoever, it still doesn’t really sit well, does it? I frankly don’t enjoy the fact that I’m consuming trace amounts of your daughter’s epileptic medication. But then again, I’m consuming trace amounts of arsenic and all sorts of other naturally occurring things that are bad for me.

Never fear, though. Officials representing state and local agencies have insisted that their water meets all federal and state regulations regarding quality and safety. They’re not lying either, because there are no federal or state regulations that set guidelines for pharmaceutical pollution.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s really no one to blame (other than America’s love affair with prescription drugs). But we should study this little understood phenomenon so we can understand what impact it’s having on humans and the rest of the pyramid of life.

Oh Sweet Irony, How Do I Love Thee:

Let me count the ways…I told you of the now famous “Who do you want answering the White House phone at 3 AM” commercial a few days ago. Who would have guessed that the highly influential commercial used footage that was originally intended for a railroad advertisement and was shot 10 years ago? It did. Clinton’s campaign bought the footage from Getty Images.

It turns out that the star of that commercial is Casey Knowles, a 17 year old (soon to be 18) high school student in Washington State. Her brother saw the commercial on “The Daily Show” and her family blah blah blah…digital recorder…blah blah…erupted… Anyway, in a twist of fate, turns out that Casey positively loves Barack Obama. Maximizing her 15 minutes, she was interviewed on “Good Morning America Weekend Edition” (not good enough for prime time or even the weekday edition, I see – media bias against Obama perhaps?). In this interview, she says about the ad: “What I don’t like about the ad is its fear-mongering. I think it’s a cheap hit to take. I really prefer Obama’s message of looking forward to a bright future.” You know, I agree…it’s cheap to suggest, right or wrong, that your opponent may not have the necessary qualifications to, you know, protect the nation and stuff. Like, that’s totally cheap and fear-mongering and stuff. And I too, like, totally dig Obama’s message of hope and bright futures. So bright that I gotta, like, wear shades.

I needn’t tell you, dear readers, that I’m utilizing my favorite device: sarcasm. Surely, I admire Casey’s optimism, and respect her right to choose to support any candidate she wishes to, but in fairness, Casey is herself a neophyte when it comes to…virtually everything. I will concede that it’s an interesting twist of fate that the girl who stars in the commercial that likely won Clinton some states last week is an Obama supporter, but come on. What’s worse is that her mother Pam told The News Tribune of Tacoma that Casey attended an Obama rally in Seattle and that she “cried and trembled after shaking the candidate’s hand.” Seriously? She cried and trembled? It is at this time that I refer to Casey’s prior statement regarding “forward to a bright future” and point out that her support of Obama is not based on reason or logic but instead the whimsical giddiness of the Flock. No person, and especially no politician, should upon being met, elicit from you trembling and tears. Notable exceptions include Jesus (joy), the anti-Christ (fear), Genghis Khan (fear), Attila the Hun (fear), Stalin (fear), or the Ghost of Tom Joad (joy), or any sentient undead (fear) (sorry zombie lovers).

As I’m pressed for time…I’ve got more on the nausea inducing tanker contract, but I’ll have to get to it another day.

Word of the Day: Inchoate (adjective): 1. In an initial or early stage; just begun. 2. Imperfectly formed or formulated.

On This Day in History: Today is Johnny Appleseed Day. Celebrate accordingly.

“Look back over the past, with its changing empires that rose and fell, and you can foresee the future, too.” – Marcus Aurelius.

Morning Coffee (113)

Two people are talking; about nothing in particular. The first person mentions to the other that his third cousin’s nephew’s brother-in-law’s birthday is coming up on the 13^th of March. “Oh my God!” the other girl replies, “My birthday’s on the 13^th too!” The first replies with incredulous surprise, “Really?!” The soon-to-be birthday girl then utters, “Yes…how weird!”

Isn’t it amazing that people think things like this are amazing? As if they think that someone else having the same birthday as them is so utterly improbable that they are shocked and surprised that not only could it be so, but they just spoke with someone who knows someone with the same date of birth. Amazing…

White, Like Siberian Exile:

The heavens have opened up and poured down upon me a deluge of precipitation in the form of snow flakes. There must be, as Carl Sagan might (not) say, billions and billions of them, most of which have, by way of a miracle, been placed in the 1/10^th of an acre of freedom upon which I presently reside. At first, they appear light, fluffy even; as if a gentle breeze could/would blow them away and out of my sight forever. And the wind does blow them; it blows them into stark white Sahara dunes. But light and fluffy these flakes are not. No, they are heavy and dense, to which my creaky back can attest. And the wind turns me into an Arctic version of Sisyphus; I laboriously move snow into pretty little piles, at which time the West Wind repositions those piles in my wake. Help finally comes; a great mythical/mechanical beast that shoves the snow aside as if the flakes were but weightless rag dolls. But no, my eyes deceive me once again, for I see the future. I see the machination, in vehement fury fling the eye pollution towards the square footage I have recently emancipated; doing the job of a thousand West Winds. A gigantic wave of snow, propelled by the power of hundreds of horses, comes crashing down upon my shores. The Humanity! Why have the gods punished me so!? Have I not left the Wintry Purgatory eons ago? I start again, moving the newly condensed snow from its resting place into pretty little piles…

Wake Me Up When November Ends:

Isn’t it painful to watch? It’s almost unbearable. The sounds and sights are like watching pigs being slaughtered by a thousand incompetent butchers who botch the job over and over again. Imagine that. Blood soaking the floor, agonizing squeals, but the pigs never die and you’re forced to watch, paralyzed into inaction. You know you have to hire one of these butchers, but which fool do you entrust with the grisly work? The difference is the stakes are much higher than the quick deaths of a few pigs.

Seething McCain Tears Head off NYT Reporter; Shits Down Neck:

Have you heard about this? Of course you haven’t, because it didn’t happen. But McCain did “clash” with a NYT reporter on his campaign’s plane. The reporter questions McCain about a meeting he had with John Kerry in 2004, allegedly about McCain running with him as his VP. She really tries to get him to reveal what the meeting was about, despite him saying that it was well known that they had met, and he wouldn’t discuss details because it was a private meeting. He’s clearly annoyed by her line of questioning. A number of news outlets reported this story with the headline, “Why are you so angry?” which suggests that the reporter was baffled by McCain’s anger or maybe afraid or something similar. This isn’t the case. In fact, I’d say that this NYT reporter was a little gutless. Watch the video, which is in the link above. She says, “Can I ask you about, um…?” She then looks down for a second before looking up and sheepishly asking, “Why are you so angry?” McCain replies, “Pardon me?” Her reply was, “Never mind, never mind…” Gutless. Clearly, McCain was annoyed, I’ll concede that. But overtly angry? I don’t think so. She asked a negative question like that and then backed down, as if knowing that that question would become the news.

If Cancer Won’t Do It, God Dammit, Boeing Will:

Boeing and its legion of fanboys are still quite angry at McCain for sabotaging their bid to make aerial refuelers for the US Air Force.

But as there is always the proverbial silver lining to any dark cloud, this Boeing vs. Northrop Grumman/EADS issue has shown us the only thing that is more powerful than Party lines, as Democrats and Republicans alike have rallied behind Boeing against John McCain. What is really important is that contracts be awarded to companies in these Representatives’ states. In this, Dems and Repubs can join forces. So important is this one thing that they will mischaracterize the entire system of awarding contracts, disrespect the Air Force, and even lie outright.

The fact is, McCain killed the 2004 version of the tanker deal, in which Boeing would have been awarded the contract. This version was killed not because McCain has a pathological hatred for Boeing, as some Congressmen apparently think, but because Boeing executives recruited an Air Force official, Darleen Druyun, while she was still overseeing Boeing related contracts. This sort of behavior wasn’t new to Ms. Druyun, as she was involved in another controversy in 1993 involving McDonnell Douglas, which was later bought by Boeing. So deep do Ms. Druyun’s connections to Boeing run that she simply forwarded to the company resumes of her daughter and her daughter’s fiancé, both of whom got jobs there. At any rate, Druyun and the Boeing executive both served prison sentences for their roles in the 2004 tanker deal. Shame on you John McCain.

But McCain’s actions are not very merit-worthy according to some. Nancy Pelosi insists that Boeing was on course to win the new deal before McCain started rallying against it. What does this mean? I haven’t seen anything that suggests that McCain did any such thing in this most recent deal. Pelosi is either lying or knows something no press has reported. Likely the former.

Speaking of horse pucky, Rep. Rahm Emanuel (D-Ill) says, “Having made sure that Iraq gets new schools, roads, bridges and dams that we deny America, now we are making sure that France gets the jobs that Americans use to have. We are sending the jobs overseas, all because John McCain demanded it.” Rep. Emanuel must be afflicted with anosmia, because he can’t even smell the shit coming out of his mouth. Nowhere have I read that McCain has demanded that jobs be sent overseas. And even that is a gross misrepresentation of the contract anyway. Sure, Illinois and Washington State will not benefit from this contract, but Alabama will, as will a number of other states. The NG/EADS contract will create 2,000 jobs in Alabama and support 25,000 jobs at suppliers across the country. Some people (morons) have stated that the Boeing contract would have created 44,000 jobs. What sort of bullshit is this? The 767 is an existing platform with the infrastructure for it’s building already in place. It might have supported those jobs, but it didn’t create them. Furthermore, as I’ve said before, 60% of the NG/EADS built plane will be US made, which is 10% more than the minimum legal requirement in the Buy American requirement. Thus, Emanuel’s and Tiahrt’s complaints are invalid, and in some cases, blatant lies.

What they are right about, however, is that this issue stands to hurt McCain in the general election in these states, mostly because jobs are important to people, and any perception of losing those jobs, real or otherwise, is greatly terrifying, especially in the day and age of the Rust Belt. But we shouldn’t discount people’s gullibility, as they will eagerly consume the feces that the aforementioned Representatives produce because it plays to their fears. However, we should not forget one simple thing in all of this: the US Air Force will receive a better platform which will not compromise national security. If someone must be blamed by the faceless masses, it should be Boeing, who felt they were entitled to this contract, and proposed the same airframe as they did previously. Sorry Washingtonians and Illinoisans, but you’re welcome to vote your conscience.

Word of the Day: Cabal (noun): 1. A secret, conspiratorial association of plotters or intriguers whose purpose is usually to bring about an overturn especially in public affairs.
2. The schemes or plots of such an association.

On This Day in History: Stalin’s daughter Svetlana Alliluyeva defects to the US (1967). US Navy divers find the damaged crew compartment of the space Shuttle Challenger (1986). The bodies of all seven crew members were inside. Today we “sprung forward” which means I lost an hour of my day. Thus the MC is more like, Afternoon Tea.

Morning Coffee (112)

Greetings Coffee Quaffers. Icy today, so watch your step. Never fear though, the Coffee’s hot and fresh, as always. Okay, sometimes it’s less than fresh, but it’s always hot. Despite running a wee bit late on occasion.

It’s 3 AM…:

Perhaps you’ve read about Clinton’s commercial in which the phone rings at three in the morning in the White House, while your darling children are asleep in their beds. Something bad is happening, and someone is calling the President. Who do you want answering that phone? The phone rings and rings; six times it rings. But the rings build tension; ringing phones build tension in a way that few things can. And by that sixth ring, you the viewer are desperate for someone to answer it. Who do you want answering that phone? Clinton thinks that you want her to. So she does. She does and she’s fully dressed with perfect make-up. Remember, this is three in the morning. No matter, she’s on top of things. We feel safer because she was prepared to answer that phone and get to work. Right?

Well that commercial, and others, seems to have worked. Clinton scored surprising victories in yesterday’s primaries, winning Ohio and maybe Texas. Texas is a strange state, as it holds both a caucus and a primary. Clinton won the Texas primary, but the initial reports have Obama winning the caucus.

Yesterday, I prophesized that Clinton would win Ohio but not Texas. I’m not genius; a lot of pundits thought the same based on poll numbers. Since I was just sort of guessing (based on some knowledge of Ohio), I was only slightly surprised that Clinton won in Texas. Had I actually spent time analyzing and had a vested interest in the outcome, I would have been more surprised.

So what does Clinton’s big win mean? Little other than she stopped Obama’s win streak. Newsweek reports that Clinton has virtually no shot of securing the nomination even if she were to win the next 16 contests in a row. The math is against her. Only time will tell.

In other news, Clinton has hinted that she might consider sharing the ticket with Obama. Obama’s said that consideration of a joint ticket is premature. That might be a tough ticket to beat for Republicans. At the same time, would Obama even want to do it? Being Clinton’s VP for four or eight years might sour the public’s opinion of him, and gone forever would his claim to being new and fresh.

Eight Questions is the Limit:

Much press has been made about the lack of tough questions and probing that journalists have subjected Obama to. That changed yesterday when a number of reporters in Texas started hammering him on a few things. He denied that one of his aides met with Canadian officials, and responded poorly to inquiries about his ties to former fundraiser Tony Rezko, who is presently on trail for corruption.

So comfortable is Obama in the presence of reporters that when he began his news conference he encouraged reporters to “dive in” saying that he had no preliminary statement. They did. And he didn’t handle it too well. About Rezko and the release of documents, he said, “These requests, I think, could just go on forever. At some point, what we need to try to do is respond to what’s pertinent.” Reporters continued until an aide stated that there would be one last question. Obama made for the exit, and uttered, “C’mon guys, I just answered, like, eight questions.”

Eight questions. That’s all he’s good for, apparently. Especially when it gets hot. Do you think that he’ll be able to summon the intestinal fortitude to answer more than eight questions when his administration runs head on into a crisis? I’m sorry, but once he’s elected, his time for flowery speeches will be minimal. It’ll be time to actually do things, and journalists will eventually get over their love affair with him and begin to ask hard questions. Seeing as though the President is answerable the People, he will be compelled to answer, because the questions will not stop. There will be far more than eight questions. Just ask President Bush.

I must point out my (and others’) favorite portion of the exchange. Regarding the meeting between an Obama aide and Canadian officials, which he denied having happened prior to the release of a memo proving that the incident did occur came out, Obama said, “That was the information I had at the time…” Interesting choice of words, considering President Bush and his administration have uttered much the same about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

Republican Nomination Secured:

McCain is the Rebublican nominee. Anti-climactic considering the hoopla surrounding the Democratic campaign, I know. Still, it’s a remarkable turnaround for a man whose campaign last summer was nearly bankrupt and considered to be dead. Huckabee has bowed out of the running, which is unfortunate simply because his was the funniest of campaigns. What else can we say about this?

High on Mt. Sinai:

It’s possible that the roots of modern Judeo-Christian religion are the result of drug use. Benny Shannon, a researcher and professor of cognitive psychology at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem, has suggested that Moses was under the influence of the bark from the acacia tree, which has psychedelic effects and is mentioned in the Bible.

Drug use in religious contexts is pretty common. Native Americans do it. As did early Muslims (hashashins for example), and probably a thousand other examples of which I’m unaware. Regrettably, Shannon’s study will be latched upon by all sorts of reprobate fools who will attempt to validate drug use or knock religion. To me, it’s merely another piece of the puzzle. Regardless of whether Moses’ drug use was real or even influenced his teachings, the fact remains that his monotheistic syllabus was propagated throughout the world. I should mention, for those who won’t read my source, that this is a theory, not a proven fact. But it’s still interesting. Chew on it…as you would the bark of the acacia tree if you so desire.

Word of the Day: Rhadamanthys (noun) (see rhadamanthine; adj): 1. A son of Zeus and Europa, rewarded for the justice he exemplified on earth by being made, after his death, a judge in the Underworld, where he served with his brother Minos and Aeacus. 2. An inflexibly just or severe judge.

On This Day in History: Emperor Julian moves from Antioch with a 90,000 man army to attack the Sassanid Empire (363). Julian would die as a result of this campaign. Julian’s goal was to check the growing might of a competitor and to retake lands lost by Constantius II. His troops performed admirably against the Sassanid armies, but were unable to take the capitol of Ctesiphon. Julian then decided to return to Roman borders, but his column was ambushed. He rushed into battle without wearing his armor, and was stabbed in the stomach with a spear. Julian was also known as “the Apostate” because of his desire to return the Empire to paganism, and he even attempted to rebuild the Temple of Jerusalem to foster religions other than Christianity. Because of this, it is possible (but unlikely) that one of his own soldiers, a Christian, killed him, a theory that was propagated by the early Church, which called the killer a saint. The Boston Massacre took place on this day; five Americans were killed by British troops (1770). The Nazis win 44% of the parliamentary election vote (1933).

“People never lie so much as after a hunt, during a war or before an election.” – Otto von Bismarck.

Morning Coffee (111)

Here we are, in the year two thousand and eight. On the fourth of March even. It is rainy and dreary here. And there is thus no better time for some hot Morning Coffee.

It’s a big day, politically speaking; mostly for liberals, but potentially for everyone in our nation (and really the world). A number of states are holding their primaries today. Hillary Clinton has her back against a wall; she must win big today, or for all intents and purposes, she’s eliminated.

Conservative pundit Rush Limbaugh has done something many of his fans would never have thought that he would do: he’s encouraged people to vote for Clinton. No, this is not because he’s had a radical shift in his ideology. His reasons are as tactical as ever. No, he’s enjoying the “soap opera.” He wants Clinton in the race because he thinks she’d be easily brought down by the big game hunters that are the Republican Party. He’s actually encouraged conservatives to go out and vote for her, though he realizes it will be hard to stomach. I am not a fan of Rush Limbaugh, generally. I don’t think, as Al Franken does, that he’s a “big fat idiot”, but I don’t fawn over him, nor do I hang on his every word. I generally think he’s foolish; not stupid, but foolish. What do you think of his idea? I have an opinion, but I will keep it to myself for now. I’d like to hear my readers’ thoughts, free from the influence of the Brewer. What I will say, however, is if you live in a state that is holding a primary, go out and vote.

Read an interesting and funny article about the Mike Huckabee campaign trail. Check it out.

That’s all I’m saying about politics today.

Attack of the Killer Tornado:

A tornado in Mississippi ran through a National Guard barracks yesterday. The tornado redeployed the National Guard unit in a phased manner in about 6 seconds.

Eat Whale, Save Planet:

A group in Norway has put out a study that states that consuming whale meat is less environmentally damaging than consuming beef, pork, or chicken, based on fuel consumption of whaling vessels. Greenpeace then refuted that claim stating that, “almost every kind of food was more climate friendly than meat.” Really. Almost every kind of food? How many different kinds of food are there? Are there kinds of food that are more damaging to the climate than meat? I was pretty sure that there were basically two kinds of food: plant and animal (although in fairness, fungi and seaweed are technically not considered as being a part of the plant category). Anyway, they’re both wrong, in my estimation. While Norwegian group seems to try to justify their consumption of whales (which is fine by me), they also seem to imply that maybe we should all just eat whale. That’s not a good idea, since the whale population would be annihilated by the ravenous masses in a few years. Sure, it’s less damaging to the environment because the whales eat plankton and such rather than things we have to grow, but it’s not exactly sustainable. And Greenpeace is wrong because, well, their statement is just dumb. Besides, Soylent Green is drastically more damaging than even meat.

If anyone’s a fan, Jeff Healey, the singer/guitarist who was blinded as a child, and who sang the hit ‘Angel Eyes’ passed away on 02 March. He was 41, and had battled cancer throughout his whole life.

Coffee’s a little weak today. Since it’s free, you’ve no recourse.

Word of the Day: Probity (noun): Complete and confirmed integrity; uprightness.

On This Day in History: Hernan Cortes arrives in Mexico in search of the Aztecs and their abundant gold (1519). This ended poorly for the natives; the Aztecs were pretty much done for by late 1521, thanks largely to small pox, which they’d never encountered before and thus had no immunity to. Samuel Cole opens the first tavern in Boston (1634). The first US Congress met in NYC, putting the US Constitution into effect (1789). Wikipedia states that the first ever peaceful transfer of power between elected leaders in modern times took place in 1797 when John Adams was sworn in as President, succeeding George Washington. I’d have to look into this more to buy it. Today used to be Inauguration Day (1789-1933).

“Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.” – Robert Frost.

Morning Coffee (110)

Weekend Coffee is as good as any Coffee, don’t you agree? There’s so much to talk about. So, shall we begin?

Gone, Baby, Gone:

This coming Wednesday, the day after voting in several so-called big states, it’s very likely that Hillary Clinton will no longer be a candidate for the Democratic nomination. Thus, our choices for President of the United States will have been whittled down to two from what seemed like hundreds just five months ago. The grind is, well, grinding down.

But it’s not over. Obama is spending plenty of his massive treasure chest with the intent of eliminating Clinton on Tuesday. According to the New York Times, he has outspent Clinton two to one in television advertising in two states. This massive spending, which he can easily afford considering he raised $50 million in February (versus Clinton’s $35 million), has helped him virtually erase the two-digit lead Clinton held in the polls a few weeks ago.

The money advantage cannot be discounted, as unfortunate as that may be. Obama is able to fly hundreds of paid organizers to wherever they’re needed. He can dominate the airwaves with his message. I’ve heard his radio ads dozens of times on one radio station. I have never heard a Clinton ad on that or any other station. I have seen one Clinton ad on TV, whereas I’ve seen at least five for Obama. Admittedly, I do not watch much TV, so I’m sure the saturation is higher. Obama is going to spend Clinton into the ground. Already, his operation has expanded into states that will hold Primaries after Tuesday. Clinton is unable to do this. She simply hasn’t the funds.

It gets worse for Clinton. While she rolls out former Democratic Representative Dick Gephardt as a supporter, Obama ups the ante and has the indie band Arcade Fire perform for him. I have news for her. Young voters do not identify with a former Congressman that most of them haven’t even heard of.

It is possible that Clinton will pull off a few wins (some call this a miracle) on Tuesday, but this would serve merely to prolong the inevitable. She may not be as mathematically eliminated as Mike Huckabee (who?), but she is most certainly philosophically eliminated. As Clinton herself knows, Hope trumps Reality; as it did for her husband, it does for Barack Obama.

So the voters will believe in a change as much as something like change can be believed in, and Obama will secure the nomination, eventually. And here’s where our system gets less interesting. Two candidates will duke it out. The policies of each will become less radical as they try to garner votes and approval from voters in the other party. While there will be plenty of fire and brimstone during debates and the like while each candidate tries to stand out, the whole affair will really be sort of watered down.

Actually scratch that. Some aspects will be vaguely interesting. For example, what will happen with McCain’s finances? McCain made some tactical decisions about money earlier in this election cycle, and it might bite him, what with various rules and such. I am not going to go into specifics at present, as there will be ample time to discuss it, but what is interesting is that the FEC doesn’t have enough members for a quorum. Thus the FEC can’t make a decision. This will not change either. Appointees to the FEC have to be confirmed by the Senate, which is presently in Democrat hands. It’s not going to happen. In this, McCain’s campaign could face considerable financial difficulties, which, if things go a certain way, Obama will not have to deal with.

Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce the 44^th President of the United States, Barack Obama! Enjoy it America. You wanted it; you’ve got it.

Russian Politics:

Since I can’t seem to bore you enough with American politics, I’ll regale you with tales of intrigue from Russia. Arguably, Russian politics are more interesting than those in America, if decidedly more predictable. You might wonder why. It’s simple: the filth of Russian politics makes American politics look as though the Bald Head of Mr. Clean rules over the Election Cycle with an Iron Mop.

Let me put it to you this way. Russia’s Presidential election is today. Russia’s next President was decided in December. Does that make sense? Dmitry Medvedev, Former Chief of Staff for Vladimir Putin, former First Deputy Prime Minister, and current Vice Premier or Russia (and Chairman of Russian petro-giant Gazprom’s board) was unofficially endorsed by Putin on 10 December, and officially endorsed on 17 December 2007. Polls indicate that 79% of Russians will vote for Medvedev. Not bad for a man who has never held elected office. Putin spoke, and Russians will listen. The American media must be green with envy over that sort of influence.

How fun are elections in Russia? Your boss will tell you who to vote for. If you don’t vote, you’ll lose your job. He’ll even accompany you to the polls to make sure you cast your ballot in a responsible manner. Four hundred and fifty-thousand troops and police were deployed to make sure voting took place in a calm manner. Surely, they will not serve as an unconscious reminder to wayward voters.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the next President of the Russian Federation, Dmitry Medvedev! We at the Morning Coffee apologize to Russians everywhere for that little Constitutional prohibition that forbade Putin from seeking another term, but he’ll likely be your Prime Minister, so worry not for Comrade, er, Mr. Putin.

What is almost scarier than Russian politics, however, is the American media’s lack of coverage of those politics. Considering it is Russia (and really cold and dreary) and that there are almost no foreign observers watching the election, that’s not surprising. But let’s remember, this is not an insignificant country in Africa. This is Russia, a nation in possession of strategic (nuclear) weapons and the ability to deploy those weapons right to your front porch.

The uninformed says, “But Russia’s military is falling apart, we needn’t worry about them.” Five years ago this statement would have been largely true; Russia’s military was sustaining itself by selling equipment to any and everyone. It is hardly the case now. Russia has the largest proven natural gas reserves and the eighth largest proven oil reserves. Russia is rich. And that money is being spent on its military again. Russian BEAR bombers are regularly patrolling the skies near the US and its allies, even flying a mere 2,000 feet directly above a US aircraft carrier. The Russian military is making a comeback, and will only continue to flex its muscles. I contest that this is a good thing, as it provides a potential counterbalance to the growing Chinese might. But it also means that the US needs to treat Russia as if it belongs at the Big-Boy-Table. The US has been dismissing Russia for a long time now, and Russians resent it. This cannot continue. Criticize the lack of transparency (or in this case abundant transparency) in elections all you want, but believing Russia is as inept as it was in 1996 is a mistake.

Competition Bad, Cronyism Good:

For the past few years, the need of a new aerial refueling platform to replace the current, outdated KC-135s has dominated discussion in the US Air Force. A version of Boeing’s 767 was supposed to replace the KC-135, but Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld cancelled the KC-767 program in January 2006 following the revelation of corruption in how the contract was awarded. The following year, the Air Force announced the KC-X program, which pitted Boeing against the Northrop Grumman/EADS group. Both competitors offered a refueler based on an existing platform.

Stunningly, Northrop Grumman/EADS won the contract, which would produce the newly named KC-45. This has set off a storm of anger in Washington. See, NG/EADS is partly European, EADS being the European Aeronautic Defense and Space Company, part of a conglomerate that builds the Airbus A-380, and a number of military aircraft. And the KC-45, which is built upon the A-330 platform, would benefit the French. We all know how well like the French are in Republican Land.

Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS) said, “I’ll be calling upon the Secretary of Defense for a full debriefing and expect there will be a protest of the award by Boeing.” Senator Todd Tiahrt (R-SD) said, “We should have an American tanker built by an American company with American workers. I cannot believe we would create French jobs in place of Kansas jobs."

Brownback and Tiahrt should be educated about the merits of competition, that being that it’s a pretty good thing. See, by all accounts, the A-330 platform makes for a better KC-45 than does the 767 presented by Boeing, being able to hold a great deal more fuel, cargo, and men, should that be needed. I don’t see the problem with this. The US Air Force is getting a superior product. Apologies to Boeing, but maybe next time they’ll do better and not have to whine about fair competition.

A bane to Tiahrt’s argument, Airbus has already stated that the company would assemble the tankers in Alabama, and promised to transfer the assembly of the A-330 there as well. That does this thing called, “Create American Jobs.” What’s worse is that not only has this vow been made, but Northrop Grumman/EADS is contractually obligated to build a $600 million assembly plant in the US, likely in Mobile, AL. Thus, we put to death Tiahrt’s complaint. The heart of the matter is that he’s from Kansas, and Boeing would have built the 767-based tanker in Kansas. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that he used to work for Boeing drawing up government contracts. Go figure.

Word of the Day: Garrulous (adjective): 1. Talking much, especially about commonplace or trivial things; talkative. 2. Wordy. Garrulous was the Senator from Kansas, as he bloviated needlessly about the loss of American jobs.

On This Day in History: Since I missed yesterday, indulge me…

01 March: The Continental Congress adopts the Articles of Confederation (1781). The first US Census is authorized (1790). Napoleon returns to France from banishment on Elba (1815). President Tyler signs a bill authorizing the US annexation of the Republic of Texas (1845). The Ethiopian army defeats an outnumbered Italian force in the Battle of Adowa, and Caesar rolls over in his grave (1896). Henri Becquerel discovers radioactivity (1896). Josef Stalin suffers a stroke, dying four days later (1953). Puerto Rican nationalists attack the US Capitol Building, injuring five Representatives (1954). A bomb, planted by the Weather Underground, explodes in a bathroom in the US Capitol Building (1971).

See last year’s Morning Coffee (64) for all the cool Roman happenings on this date.

02 March: Tsar Alexander II emancipates the Russian serfs (1861). His generosity is thanked by assassins in 1881. Note to self: Do not emancipate anyone; it bodes poorly for the emancipator (see Lincoln). Tsar Nicholas II abdicates in favor of his brother (1917). Nicholas and his little tribe are also killed. Michael is smart and defers acceptance of the throne, but is murdered in 1918. The first Communist International meeting (1919).

“The health of a democratic society may be measured by the quality of functions performed by private citizens.”

“The surface of American society is covered with a layer of democratic paint, but from time to time one can see the old aristocratic colours breaking through.”

- Alexis de Tocqueville.