Morning Coffee (63)

Well, I’m finally back up and running again after a host of other computer problems at work. I realize that this month has been fairly devoid of quality Coffee, and for that, I apologize. There hasn’t been much of interest about which to speak anyway.

I know one thing that’s interesting: I’m tired. No, that’s not very interesting.

Here’s something that is eminently interesting: beefaroni. This substance is among the oddest food ever devised by man. Sure, it comes in a can, but so do many foods nowadays. What is odd is that the proper method with which to consume beefaroni is really difficult to pin down. Spoon or fork, my friends? I’ve found, after conducting repeated tests with both instruments of gluttony, that neither adequately serves their purpose, which is to facilitate the rapid consumption of the noodly entrée. The fork requires repeated jabs into the tomato paste mass in order to net enough noodles to make the energy expense of lifting your hand to your mouth worth while. And the fork can easily become prematurely jammed with misaligned noodles, making it impossible to add more without first removing the current occupants, which can only be done by using the mouth, thus negating the fork’s meager advantage over its competitor, the spoon. The spoon has great difficulty maintaining the slippery noodles within its rim at all. Every “spoonful” might yield two, maybe three noodles; no where near enough to make it worthwhile. And to think, this is a food marketed mostly to parents; parents of kids that haven’t the cognitive ability to formulate a comprehensive attack plan on the beefaroni stock sitting before them, thus making one heck of a mess. Beefaroni is, in the end, an irony. Marketed as a time saver, it in fact does the opposite. You must waste valuable time wresting the beefy noodles from their sauce if you’re the consumer. If instead your offspring are the consuming entity, you must eventually clean up their tomato paste stained fingers and face nearly without exception. While I’m sure something must be done about beefaroni’s vile nature, I’m not quite sure just what.

Word of the Day: Ambit (noun): 1. circuit or compass; 2. the boundaries or limits of a district or place; 3. an area in which something acts, operates, or has power or control; extent; sphere; scope.

On This Day in History: The first Mardi Gras is celebrated in New Orleans (1827). Also, the Roman festival Equirria was held. Equirria is a festival of Mars, the Roman god of war. As its name might hint towards, horse races were held on the Campius Martius and a scapegoat was driven out of the city, representing driving out the old. 01 March was the beginning of the New Year in the Julian calendar.

“If I turn into another, dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me.” – Incubus “Dig”

Morning Coffee (62)

And you all must have thought I was dead. No, no, I am not dead. Life couldn't be that simple. Between snow days, office moves, sick days, and a day of leave here and there, I've been out for a while. In fact, I've been on leave since last Friday, and just came in today. Although it was a three day weekend (federal holiday) and I spent two days of my time off sicker than a dog, this is the longest period of time I've gone without work or school work in over three years, probably closer to four. Six whole days. It was a nice break. Would have been better had I planned on it, since Tuesday and Wednesday I had planned on going to work. Oh well.

I will be short today. Tomorrow you will get a full cup.

Word of the Day: Hoi polloi (hoi-puh-LOI) (noun): the common people generally; the masses.
On This Day in History: Six years ago today, a dear friend of mine rose from the dead on what has been dubbed Phoenix Day. It's good to have you with us still.

"We pay our debts sometime…" - Alice in Chains "Over Now"

Morning Coffee (61)

Nothing yesterday; my apologies. I was not in the office until later in the day, and that wouldn't make a good Morning Coffee. I can't just go changing the title to suit the times.

Today. Well. I don't see much that's so important that I need to talk about it. Anna Nicole Smith is dead. Supposedly the final footage of her life has sold for over a half a million dollars. That's insane. Who cares that much?

Upstate NY is on the receiving end of a gargantuan snow storm. Seventy inches in some parts; snow was falling at a rate of five inches an hour. One can only hope that Utica received a bunch, but probably not.

We're moving our office today, so I'm cutting this one short. Sorry to disappoint. I have no idea what they're doing with the computers, but I'm told it could be two days before they're up and running again, so if you don't hear from me, you know why. Either that or I'm dead.

Can the Apocalypse just come already? At least it would be interesting. Have a merry weekend.

Word of the Day: Pyrric victory (PIR-ik) (noun): a victory achieved at great or excessive cost; a ruinous victory. Named so because of Pyrrhus of Epirus' supposed victories over the Romans in the late 3rd century BCE. He allegedly said of one of his victories, "One more victory like that and I'll be ruined." Pyrrhus was without reinforcements as he was fighting on Italy; he could not afford to suffer the losses the Romans (the losers of the battles) were inflicting upon him.

On This Day in History: John Quincy Adams is elected President by the House of Representatives after no candidate received a majority of electoral votes (1825).

"I woke the same as any other day except a voice was in my head. It said seize the day, pull the trigger, drop the blade and watch the rolling heads…"

Morning Coffee (60)

I arrived home last night to find one dead robin at my door. No idea what happened to the other two. It was cold. It snowed a bunch yesterday; they let us out an hour early (not me since they announced that exactly when I was scheduled to leave) and then gave us an hour delay today. Great weather….

Of no particular importance, I am guaranteed to hear one of three bands both to and from work every single day: Green Day, Nirvana, and Collective Soul. Strange…

The nanny state mentality is getting a bit ridiculous. Read an article today where a NY state senator wants to pass legislation that prohibits talking on a cell phone, using a Blackberry, or wearing headphones (iPod) while crossing a street in NYC. I read another article today where in Texas they're thinking of making it a crime for a parent to miss a meeting with a teacher. $500 fine and a criminal record. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Screw it, we need MORE laws prohibiting MORE things. Regulate. Regulate society by force of law. Make every offense criminal. Soon, you'll have a society full of criminals with no rights (I mean the rights that haven't already been revoked through legislation). Freedom isn't free, but the illusion of freedom costs a lot more. I'm sure I'll hear a bunch of ranting about how free this country is. Make no mistake, I'm a patriot, but if anyone has a right to complain (and I think everyone does), it's me. No matter how good we have it, we should always be able to voice complaints and not hear redneck idiots say things like, "Love it or leave it," or think they're making some point by saying, "You couldn't even say that in ______." Absolutely right, I couldn't say it there, which is all the more reason to say it here. Sooner or later folks, the people you and I elect are going to legislate away your life. You wanna go to Cuba? Good luck. Smoking? Gone. iPod listening? Gone. Cell phone use? Gone. You are not trusted to police yourself, and perhaps rightfully so. But, regardless, you lose while they gain.

Speaking of gaining, Nancy Pelosi's requested the use of an Air Force private jet to ferry her about the country. She cites security reasons. So, you proles can go ahead and use your commercial air while the aristocracy uses military equipment, all for the sake of safety. Maybe we shouldn't fly commercial because of safety concerns. She's no more important than us, right? According to an article in the Washington Times today, the 89th Airlift Wing at Andrews Air Force Base is used by Congress as their own Hertz Rent-a-Car. This annoys me. I wonder if they reimburse the Air Force or the Dept of Defense. They make $160,000 plus. Learn how to budget. Stop taking huge entourages with you. This stuff infuriates me.

Okay, angry dude out.

Word of the Day: Idee fixe (ee-day-FEEKS) (noun): an idea that dominates the mind; a fixed idea; an obsession. I have a few of these.

On This Day in History: Leo I becomes emperor of the Byzantine Empire, also known as the Eastern Roman Empire (457).

"Give no woman power over you to trample upon your dignity." - From Sirach

Morning Coffee (59)

It's cold outside. So cold, in fact, when I went out to warm up my vehicle, there were three robins huddled against the edge of the door. They didn't move much, and it appears that they had been there for quite some time as they had defecated repeatedly. One actually scurried off when I came back in, but the other two are probably still there. I wonder how much warmth they got from my door. Probably not much. The thermometer indicates that it was exactly 0 degrees; my furnace could not reach the 66 I had it set at - the best it managed was 62.

Here's a question for you. If it's 0 degrees Fahrenheit, and it gets twice as cold overnight, how cold does it get?

Remarkably, I heard hardly a peep about the "Super" Bowl yesterday. Boy was I relieved.

Scientist A: "Global Warming is REAL!" Scientist B: "Global Warming is mass hysteria!" Me: *rolls up newspaper* "Stop it!" said repeatedly, while *slapping both ideologues in the nose with the paper*.

There's a new scandal in the Iraq War. Some British paper released a 2003 US Dept of Defense video that captured a friendly fire incident in which a US A-10 fired upon British troops, killing one. Transcripts from the tape show how horrified these pilots were after learning that friendly units were in the area. Upon receiving word that they had killed a British LCpl, one pilot said he was going to be sick, while the other repeatedly uttered obscenities. I would hate to have been those pilots.

Wow…just when you get used to life pounding the zone with nasty inside breaking pitches, it throws you a nice meaty fastball right down the heart of the plate. But since you were expecting a filthy, lights-out, 80mph, 12-6 curveball with a 10 inch break on your 3-2 count, the 98mph smokeball seems impossible to catch up with. An email I got this morning (about 10 minutes ago) is that fastball. It's a hitter's dream. But I resigned myself to curveballs, sliders, forkballs, and splitters, and I'm not sure I can catch up to the heat now…

Word of the Day: Ennui (noun): a feeling of utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest; boredom.

On This Day in History: Gaius Julius Caesar defeats the combined army of Pompeian followers and Numidians under Metellus Scipio and Juba at Thapsus (modern Ras Dimas, Tunisia - for those of you who are geographically challenged, that's northern Africa at the 8 o'clock position if Sicily were the center) (46 BCE).

"Audaces fortuna juvat."

Morning Coffee (58)

Today will suck because I'll have to hear about the stupid "Super" Bowl all day long. I despise football. It's boring. I'm sure this statement of fact will outrage my readers and perhaps I'll be inundated with hate mail, but at least I will have elicited a response. Look, I enjoy violence as much or more than the next person, but football is caveman-ish. Hike the ball; throw the ball; run; stop timer; talk about what you're going to do next; repeat. Oh, I know, I've heard it all before: it's strategy blah blah blah. Well, football fanatics can't see the strategy in baseball, thus I cannot see it in football. However, there is a silver lining in the dark cloud of "hey man did you see that play in the fourth quarter where the guy did that one thing and then ran and the other guy then did that one thing and it was so cool and then that one commercial where that guy did that one thing" day: football season is over and I can now enjoy the work ups to baseball season, the only real sport besides killing things.

The mayor of Atlanta (I think) recently converted to Islam citing his desire to practice the faith that his ancestors practiced before being brought to America in the slave trade. His ancestors hailed from Senegal. I'm not sure if he's aware, but Islam was not widespread in Senegal until the conversion of the Damel of Cayor (basically the king of the kingdom covering what is now Senegal) in 1861, although it may have had a representation in Senegal as early as the 11th century. Since the importation of slaves to America ceased in 1808, I find it hard to take the good mayor's word at face value. To me, it sounds like he's making an excuse for his conversion. Why not just say, "I like Islam better, it answers more satisfactorily more of my questions than Christianity." I understand wanting to return to your roots and understand who your ancestors were, and it's likely that his ancestors were not Christians when they were brought to America (whether they were forcibly converted or converted over time or integrated "pagan" beliefs into Christianity is hard to say). It's more likely that his ancestors were animists or some other "pagan" religion. I just wonder how deeply the man looked before hand, I mean, if getting closer to his roots were his motivation. Heck, I'm sure my ancestors in the BCE age were not atheists (or Christians) so I might as well become a pagan and sacrifice bulls to Mars Ultor in order to get closer to my ancestors. However, I'd be viewed as insane and forbidden from doing the bull sacrifices. This guy will draw some criticism for converting while in office (his constituents didn't vote for a Muslim I presume) but all in all, everyone'd be okay with it. Seriously though, what's wrong with converting because the new religion speaks to you? I'm sure it does to him, but why the need to qualify it?

Big trend in Seattle: coffee shops with scantily clad women serving drinks with names like Wet Dream (coffee with caramel and white chocolate). Apparently, there are a number of shops like this. I guess when Starbucks comes from your town, you need to do something to stand out.

Word of the Day: Missive (noun): a written message; a letter.
On This Day in History: Henry of Navarre converts to Catholicism in order to ensure his right to the throne of France (1576). See, now that's a reason to convert. It's nice to know his religious heart was in the right place.

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." - Mark Twain

Morning Coffee (57)

Morning. Statement of fact, not a wish-you-well sentiment. It is morning. Then it will be noon, and as you know, the afternoon follows that. Then we'll have evening, followed closely by night. This is what we have to look forward to. The vicious cycle will continue on until the end of the universe.

Global warming. Climate change. I'm tired of reading about it. It's quite obvious that the media has a bias on this one. You read and see a great deal of bold fonts on news pages pointing you to one scientist after another who extols that this is all created by man. Sometimes you'll see the opposition say that it's not, or that we can't prove that yet. But mostly just bold, underlined, italicized fonts saying that, yep, man's responsible for the world's ills. My favorite are the scientists that say that there's "no question" that man has caused global warming. No question, eh? By saying that, he automatically invalidates any argument against his stance, no matter how logical it may be. I hate people that argue like that. It'd be like a devout Christian saying to me, "There's no question that god exists. None at all." It would be pretty hard for me to then put forth my point of view and have the person listen. His mind has been made up. Which is all well and good when you're dealing with faith and such nonsense, but when you're arguing for a particular scientific theory, it's absurd. Science doesn't (shouldn't) work that way. I don't recall any new scientific laws being created that state that man is wholly responsible for climate change. Anyway, bring on the Apocalypse. I want to see what I'm made of. Seriously. Let's do this. I'll get the bunker stocked with food, fuel, ammunition, water, and medical supplies. You bring yourselves and some guns. You ready?

Side note: I hate KT Tunstall.

Another: Can someone put me to sleep until after the next presidential election? I really don't want to listen to the attack ads, snore-inducing rhetoric, and lofty promises that our finest citizens will put out in the next year and a half. It's like Christmas, it keeps getting earlier and earlier. Our lawmakers should pass some laws - you've got six months to run your campaign. Period. They we have a vote. If you can't tell America everything about yourself, including why you should be the Commander in Chief, in six months, then you needn't be in the office. You suck. You can't organize, and you can't articulate yourself. Go back to the senate or the house or back underneath whatever rock you came from.

By the way, Exxon earned the largest profit in US history this past year. How much? How's $39.5 billion sound? Exxon would be wealthier than many nations. Remember, that's profit, not their budget. That's how much money they "took home" last year. With that money, they could purchase outright nearly 19 B-2 bombers.

I'm making this my horoscope: "Your charred, lifeless body will time and again debunk the old myth about lightning never striking the same place twice." No, that's my mantra…Some idiot once had on their Myspace some ridiculous quote about lightning never striking twice…blah, blah…moron.

Word of the Day: Moribund (adjective): 1. in a dying state; dying; at the point of death; 2. becoming obsolete or inactive. Indeed. I'm moribund as the proverbial mo-fo.

On This Day in History: A number of people died due to various reasons, some more painfully than others. This has been happening since the dawn of man. Far more depressing than this, but equally true, it's Groundhog's Day. How much you wanna bet the little [insert profanity here] sees his shadow?

"Troubled souls unite, we got ourselves tonight…I am fuel, you are friends, we got the means to make amends. I am lost I'm no guide, but I'm by your side. I am right by your side…"

Morning Coffee (56)

Yay…another one? Side note: yesterday's MC should have been Edition 55. Guess it was a typo. This is the real Edition 56.

Since we're 2,000 years removed from Rome, we can consider today to be the kalends of the month. So, happy first of the month. Shortest one of the year, so, enjoy it I guess.

In Edition 54 I mentioned an Air Force Sgt Tassi McKee while criticizing the ill-informed anti-war protesters. It turns out that her military job is known: she's an intel analyst. This is most unfortunate, because her poor choice of words embarrass me. As an analyst, she should know better. I would wager she's not a terribly effective one if she uses words like "believe" in her assessments. I'm not saying that she needs to agree with me, but I would expect her to be able to put forth a more cogent argument than simply believing that Iraq is embroiled in a civil war and that we're doing more to hurt the situation than help it. That simply doesn't fly in the intel world.

In the past two Morning Coffees, I've discussed beliefs heavily. It seems we've come to a point that all our beliefs, no matter how absurd, are somehow sacrosanct; above criticism. Simply because we preface a statement with "well, I believe" the drivel that follows is somehow protected and combating it is forbidden. We can't challenge their beliefs because, well, everyone's entitled to their own beliefs even if they're patently wrong. A persons beliefs should not be above reproach simply because it's "their belief." I'm not speaking obliquely about belief in god and faith, although I don't think that these beliefs should get a free pass either. I'm discussing specifically all these absurd beliefs like those of Sgt McKee; beliefs put forth with no supporting evidence other than the gut feeling, the burning in the bosom, of the alleged believer. This is, as I mentioned the other day, the sort of belief wherein you suspend belief in other areas to continue to belief in the original belief. No evidence is needed. No challenge is considered by the believer, but in fact, dismissed out of hand - if it does not support the original belief, then it is "a vast right/left-wing conspiracy" or god's way of "testing us." And what's worse, is the media will pass these beliefs off to the world as if they're the ground truth coming from knowledgeable people. Most often they're not. And still these beliefs are never challenged. We never say to the believer, "you may be right, but how about providing some evidence that supports your position beyond the assumed fact that you are entitled to your opinion." Perhaps that should be the preface: all beliefs contained within are the opinions of the believer and their inclusion does not constitute endorsement as truth.

We've now seen the first Democrat casualty of the upcoming presidential election. Sen. Joseph Biden made a most unfortunate statement about Barrack Osama being "clean and articulate, etc, etc" and this will likely cost him not only the nomination, but the chance to try for the nomination. It's unfortunate, too. Biden seemed to me to be the most interesting candidate for the Democrats. He disagreed with Bush's plan in Iraq and, heaven forbid, actually came up with an opposing plan. I'm not saying he would have gotten my vote; it's way too soon for that. But once again we see someone's comments taken out of context by the likes of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharp ton. They use phrases like, "the way he constructed the statement was a little unfortunate," and "I'm not sure what he means, ask him to explain what he means." I will agree that the phrasing of his statement could have been better, but I saw no ill intent. Actually, it sounded like a compliment. But in this day in age, we're so hyper-sensitive to racism and other "isms" that we're programed to take statements out of context and accuse the person of being a racist or a womanizer or a homophobe. And you can never just say, "that's not what I meant, this is…" and be done with it. You'll see this with Biden. It's likely this will hound him until he either loses the nomination or withdraws from the race; he will not get nominated to run for president. You've heard it here first. Perhaps Biden is a closet racist, but it would be nice to think that he'd be found guilty based on more than a couple of ill-formed statements. And this is unfortunate, because Biden seems to be the only Democrat actually discussing issues rather than screaming that there are issues that need to be discussed.

Word of the Day: Pellucid (adjective): 1. allowing the maximum passage of light, as glass; translucent; 2. clear or limpid; 3. clear in meaning, expression, or style.

On This Day in History: Imbolc (pronounced im'olk) - first day of spring in the Irish calendar; the goddess Brigid (aka Brigit among others) (goddess of poetry, healing and smithcraft) was celebrated on this day. Brigid later became St. Brigid, the patron saint of Ireland and today is also her feast day.

"Varitas odium parit." - Truth breeds hate.