Greetings, Coffee Drinkers. It has been a long time since we've had a Brew. Much has happened in the world, and the Brewer has not been around to discuss it with you. For that, I apologize. Life, delightful as it is, gets in the way of things like this, sometimes. I have been working on other projects here and there, and have recently moved to a foreign country where the beer (and coffee) is plentiful and delicious. As Adam Duritz sings in the song "Long December," "Maybe this year will be better than the last." But for now, I've still got the ability to whip up some Bitter Brew…
TSA Wants to See Your Labia and/or Scrotum:
I would be insulting your intelligence where I to relay to you the events that took place a few days ago, on Christmas Day. You surely remember that a man attempted to detonate an explosive which was sewn into his cotton briefs. His goal was to blow a hole in the side of a plane as it prepared to land in Detroit, and thus kill a bunch of people. If you are unaware of this happening, then you must have been in a coma, and I ask that you simply type "Christmas Day Bomber" into Google so that you can track the subsequent conversation about privacy and security.
Much has been made about the failure of the security protocols which allowed for Abdul/Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab to board a plane with explosives placed precariously close to his family jewels. I would think that much should be made about this failure. Were it not for luck, or Abdulmutallab's incompetence, nearly 300 people would have died on Christmas day. It doesn't help matters that Janet Napolitano, the Secretary of Homeland Security, said that the system worked, and then Robert Gibbs echoes the same sentiment. Much backtracking was made by Napolitano, and then by President Obama, who of course spoke in the passive voice about how "our government has not acted as it should." He is but a regular citizen expressing disappointment in "our" government. I digress…
The point is that the system did fail. Abdulmutallab's own father, a prominent Nigerian, reported him to embassy officials because he was concerned about Abdulmutallab's fundamentalist leanings. Abdulmutallab's US visa was not rescinded. He was not even flagged for further inspections by security were he to decide to ride in an airplane despite being on a list of 550,000 people who might pose a risk. Instead, he was flagged for a closer look when he renewed his visa. I should note that he was barred from entry into the United Kingdom. None of this proved very helpful.
The story gets worse than this. Abdulmutallab paid for the ticket with cash, and did not check any baggage despite claiming that he would be staying in the United States for two weeks. When I flew on a one-way ticket to Afghanistan, my bags and my person were utterly ransacked. I had popped up "randomly" for additional screening. Yet this guy, with known ties to al-Qaida, who was on a list of persons of risk, who was denied entry into the UK, who purchased his ticket with cash and possessed only a carry-on bag, and whose father had reported him to officials in Nigeria, did not apparently rate an additional pat down. Not that this would have been effective, since the screener would have had to vigorously search him, and search him in an area that is so utterly distasteful and demeaning and such. I have worked security for big events before, and have had to pat down thousands of people. It sucks. Believe me. No one wants to feel your testicles or your breasts. Well, perhaps some do, but it is just as uncomfortable for security personnel as it is for those being searched. All that being said, I doubt anyone would have found Abdulmutallab's explosive…uh…package.
But there is something that would have found it. It is called Millimeter Wave Passenger Imaging. The problem is that it also produces semi-detailed images of your junk. In other words, someone could see your penis/vagina/breasts/buttocks. Privacy advocates are quite obviously against this, because of the aforementioned reasons. Security hounds are rather for it. It does the work that actual humans find distasteful – it sees, rather than weakly gropes for, Abdulmutallab's explosive package. This system is not yet being used widely. And as I alluded to, it has met some fierce resistance. But I think the recent attempt to destroy a plane will dissolve some of that resistance.
Personally, I'm torn about the use of such a system, which does, to an extent, violate the privacy of passengers. The other day, I caught myself saying something completely ridiculous. I said, "Whatever makes flying safe, I'm for." How utterly absurd. I blame it on my fear of flying, which I developed after a lovely flight on the airline Afghan Ariana in 2003. This is a flimsy excuse. I have libertarian leanings, and such a statement is rather antithetically opposed to such leanings.
I offer you a great article about this topic, and I hope that you'll read it. In it, the author describes how the system would work, with the hope of assuaging the fears of those who do not want their naughty bits exposed to leering security personnel. For example, when you are scanned, your face is not visible to the person who sees the image of your sweet, nubile, naked body. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. No, your face is obscured. And the person seeing your face does not have access to the images of your sweet, nubile, naked body. Your privacy is relatively assured. And believe me, after a couple of hundred viewings of people of all shapes and sizes, the security folks aren't going to care about how hot or not you are. I've patted down many, many, many beautiful women, average women, ugly women, large people, small people, and dudes of all shapes, sizes, and ages. I couldn't pick a single one of them out of a lineup. I don't remember a single one. And with this system, the operator wouldn't even see a face. But read the article, as the author articulates how the system works far better than I.
I suppose with that said, I'm rather ambivalent to the presence of such a device. I'd rather that than some embarrassed kid frisking me gingerly so as to not offend me, while putting hundreds of people at potential risk. It is terrible that people who want to blow up planes exist, but they do. I am not all that thrilled about the prospects of a free fall from 36,000 feet, so I guess I'm fine with showing some faceless security official my manhood. Of course, maybe having to use shared showers has eroded my modesty. Will this system be foolproof? No. No system is. I offer you the case of the would-be assassin of the Saudi counter-terrorism chief. He may have hid his explosives in his rectal cavity and detonated said charge with explosive effect via a cell phone.
What do you Coffee Drinkers think?
My apologies for such a mundane, ill-written Brew. I am out of practice, and I will endeavor to do better for all (three) of you.
Word of the Day:
Vicissitude (noun): 1. Regular change or succession from one thing to another; alternation; mutual succession; interchange; 2. Irregular change; revolution; mutation; 3. A change in condition or fortune; an instance of mutability in life or nature (especially successive alternation from one condition to another).
On This Day in History: The Roman emperor Commodus is killed (192 CE). The Vandals, Alans, and Suebi cross the Rhine and begin their invasion of Gaul. They would eventually end up on North Africa (406). Shopkeepers in England brick up their windows to avoid paying the Window Tax (1695). Arthur Guinness signs a 9,000 year lease and begins brewing Guinness (1759). Abraham Lincoln signs an act which admits West Virginia into the Union (1862). Thomas Edison demonstrates incandescent light for the first time (1879). The Marshall Plan expires, after distributing $13.3 billion in aid to rebuild Europe (1951) (George Marshall was born on this date in 1880). The Soviet Union is officially dissolved, as all official Soviet institutions cease operations (1991). The Euro is created (1998). The US Government hands over control of the Panama Canal to Panama (1999).
Tomorrow is the ninth anniversary of my marriage to a remarkable, amazing woman. Words fail to adequately describe my feelings for her. Had I not met her, had I not called that night so long ago, I would not be where I am today; I would not feel as only she can make me feel. I ask that we all take a moment to hope and pray that a woman who is as amazing as she, and who exhibits such sublime traits and characteristics, gets exactly what she deserves in life.
