Morning Coffee (63)

Well, I’m finally back up and running again after a host of other computer problems at work. I realize that this month has been fairly devoid of quality Coffee, and for that, I apologize. There hasn’t been much of interest about which to speak anyway.

I know one thing that’s interesting: I’m tired. No, that’s not very interesting.

Here’s something that is eminently interesting: beefaroni. This substance is among the oddest food ever devised by man. Sure, it comes in a can, but so do many foods nowadays. What is odd is that the proper method with which to consume beefaroni is really difficult to pin down. Spoon or fork, my friends? I’ve found, after conducting repeated tests with both instruments of gluttony, that neither adequately serves their purpose, which is to facilitate the rapid consumption of the noodly entrée. The fork requires repeated jabs into the tomato paste mass in order to net enough noodles to make the energy expense of lifting your hand to your mouth worth while. And the fork can easily become prematurely jammed with misaligned noodles, making it impossible to add more without first removing the current occupants, which can only be done by using the mouth, thus negating the fork’s meager advantage over its competitor, the spoon. The spoon has great difficulty maintaining the slippery noodles within its rim at all. Every “spoonful” might yield two, maybe three noodles; no where near enough to make it worthwhile. And to think, this is a food marketed mostly to parents; parents of kids that haven’t the cognitive ability to formulate a comprehensive attack plan on the beefaroni stock sitting before them, thus making one heck of a mess. Beefaroni is, in the end, an irony. Marketed as a time saver, it in fact does the opposite. You must waste valuable time wresting the beefy noodles from their sauce if you’re the consumer. If instead your offspring are the consuming entity, you must eventually clean up their tomato paste stained fingers and face nearly without exception. While I’m sure something must be done about beefaroni’s vile nature, I’m not quite sure just what.

Word of the Day: Ambit (noun): 1. circuit or compass; 2. the boundaries or limits of a district or place; 3. an area in which something acts, operates, or has power or control; extent; sphere; scope.

On This Day in History: The first Mardi Gras is celebrated in New Orleans (1827). Also, the Roman festival Equirria was held. Equirria is a festival of Mars, the Roman god of war. As its name might hint towards, horse races were held on the Campius Martius and a scapegoat was driven out of the city, representing driving out the old. 01 March was the beginning of the New Year in the Julian calendar.

“If I turn into another, dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me.” – Incubus “Dig”