Morning Coffee (118)

Bona Dea, can you believe that March is in its 20^th day already? I believe today is the vernal equinox, which would make today the first day of spring. I think that also means that I need to sacrifice a sheep or something to the many evil, pagan gods we atheists worship. I’ll have to check my Necronomicon and Book of the Dead when I get home. I shan’t shirk my sacrificial duties.

Let’s see…what’s happening today. Oh, Usama bin Ladin released his newest EP today, called “To All My Martys in the FATA, Or Federally Administered Tribal Areas for Those Thugs Who Don’t Know.” Sounds long, but it’s best read in the original Arabic. Nevertheless, “FATA” shows that the Islam-West battle is still raging, and through Usama’s acerbic hooks can you tell that the feud is showing no signs of letting up. For example, in the enchanting, droning rap, “Slammin’ the Pope” bin Ladin sings “Gonna grab ya by your funny robe and throw ya down, then stomp on ya till your pulp stains the groun’.” One must ask, what will the Pope’s Posse reply with? My favorite tune is, “Gonna build me an IED, What, WHAT!” This tune has a driving drum beat which will surely blow up in all the dance clubs in Pashtunistan. The title track, “All My FATA Martyrs” might be the most ambitious of the songs. In it, Usama attempts to weave the Hadith with the names of, well, all the martyrs. Problem is, there are only like five different names, so the variety is a bit lacking. Overall, I’d give “TAMMITFATA” three and a half stars out of five.

Okay, give me a break, this isn’t Pulitzer Prize winning journalism here. I try to keep it interesting. Current events are hard when you’ve got to compete with “Lost” and “American Idol.”

In all seriousness, bin Ladin did release a new tape. Or the message has been attributed to bin Ladin; who knows if he actually did it or not. Anyway, in it, he condemns/slams Europe, the US, and the Pope. He primarily discussed the whole cartoon bit of 2005/2006, as apparently a dozen or so newspapers in Denmark have reprinted those cartoons. By the way, one Danish cartoonist is still in hiding, and several people plotting to kill him were recently arrested. In my opinion, this new tape is a shining example of glorious hypocrisy. For example, Usama says that those cartoons mocked Islam’s founder and violated “the etiquettes of dispute and fighting.” Seriously, he really said that. I guess he forgot about, you know, flying planes into buildings containing civilians. If we count that as within the bounds of etiquette, how about using mentally disabled women as suicide bombers? What about telling a man he must drive a delivery to a certain location or you’ll kill his entire family, but in reality, you’re going to blow up his car with him in it? Is that etiquette enough? Usama bin Ladin is one to lecture on the etiquette of fighting. The only etiquette al-Qaida follows in fighting and disputing are the rules they adhere to when it suits them. He then followed that gem up with, “the laws of men which clash with the legislation of Allah the Most High are null and void, aren’t sacred, and don’t matter to us.” Mother of god the puerile intellect of the man is startling, no? I have no problem agreeing with this statement, so long as we can say the same. “The laws of Allah the Not-So Merciful which clash with the laws of reason are null and void, aren’t sacred, don’t matter to us, and best left in the 13^th century where they belong.” We’ll agree to disagree. Meanwhile, we should not fear those who purport peace and tolerance while throwing bricks through windows of Danish businesses because of some cartoons. Bin Ladin and his friends are welcome to enforce their archaic rules in their lands; our lands are by their nature exempt from such rules.

Obama’s Pastoral Gaff:

Some people have asked me what I think of the issue that has recently come up about Obama’s pastor, who has given sermons which one might describe as divisive. Well, what I think has already been opined by a plethora of pundits, that being that it seems impossible to believe that he didn’t know or hear about the things that Wright had said, even if he wasn’t in sermons in which Wright said those things. But Obama responded as he usually does; by giving a powerful performance in the form of a very eloquent speech. Kudos to him. It doesn’t change the fact that his spiritual advisor said some pretty damning things. I hate to mess with racial issues, but if a white pastor were to say those things, I think the response would have been obvious. Mort Kondracke wrote a decent article on the issue here, but you could easily read about it just about anywhere or by doing a little searching. Mort always seems to get run over when he’s on Brit Hume’s show on Fox News (not that I’ve watched Fox or any news in a long time), but he’s a pretty good writer.

The thing of it is, this issue might have been deadly to Obama were it revealed six months ago, or even three. But he’s got a lot of momentum now, and frankly, his numbers are virtually insurmountable. That sort of sucks. I’d hate to think that we might elect someone whose entire message of bringing people together was an absolute falsity, and we found out about it, but were unable to do anything about it because it was too late to change in the moronic primary system. Ho hum, another day in paradise.

Another short one today folks. For that, I apologize. Hopefully you’ve been entertained for a few minutes anyway.

Word of the Day: Acerbic (adjective): Sharp, biting, or acid in temper, expression, or tone.

On This Day in History: The Roman poet Ovid, who wrote a great deal about love, was born (43 BCE). Napoleon enters Paris after escaping Elba. With him he brings an army of 140,000 regulars and 200,000 volunteers (1815). Talk about charisma. Upon his return to France, he approached the 5^th Regiment, which was ordered to meet his return and prevent it, alone and upon dismounting his horse said, “Soldiers of the Fifth, you recognize me. If any man would shoot his emperor, he may do so now.” Their reply was not gunfire, but “Vive L’Empereur!” French minister Richelieu, notorious in his own right, said in anger after hearing of Napoleon’s visitors while in exile on St. Helena, “this devil of a man exercises an astonishing seduction on all those who approach him.” Despite this, he basically demolished France’s standing as a world power. Harriet Beecher Stowe’s Uncle Tom’s Cabin was published (1852). Albert Einstein publishes the general theory of relativity (1916). A sarin gas attack, perpetrated by the cult Aum Shinrikyo, killed 12 and wounded 1,300 (1995).

“Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence.” – Napoleon Bonaparte.