Morning Coffee (124)

It was a beautiful day today. At least it was for the 15 minutes I saw it during my drive to work. Now I sit in a building with no windows, in a cubicle with little ventilation, where the temperature is presently 76 degrees and rising. Anyway, I’m sure it’ll be lovely today. Go out and enjoy it if you can. Get some fresh air. Then rub it in.

Atreyu Stars in: The Never Ending Election:

In Morning Coffee 119, published on 26 Mar 08, I prophesized (sarcasm – it wasn’t a huge leap) that Clinton stood no chance of securing the nomination. Since none of my five readers will call me on my botched political assessments, I can do that sort of thing here at the MC. But anyway, it doesn’t look like Clinton did much to prove me wrong yesterday. As we all know (or don’t), North Carolina and Indiana held their primaries. As was expected, Obama won North Carolina rather handily, by 14 points (yesterday’s prediction was off by one point), and Clinton took Indiana rather narrowly. Nevertheless, Clinton vows to continue on. It’s like this: I wouldn’t be surprised if today she holds a press conference ceding the nomination to Obama, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if she’s running for the 2008 election in 2010. I’ll even shamefully admit that I’m rooting for the ole lass. I’m a sucker for the underdog (who’d have thought Clinton would be the underdog nine months ago?), but this also makes for an interesting experiment. Both candidates have made seemingly fatal missteps, and both seem to have recovered. For me, this offers remarkable insight into the human condition, both in looking at the candidates and the people who vote.

Don’t get me wrong though. My rooting for her is not saying I hope she’s the next President.

Tree Older than the Earth Found in Sweden:

Miraculously, a tree in Sweden was found to be roughly 9,550 years old, making it older than the Earth itself, which comes in at a comparably youthful 6,000+ years old. Creationists are understandably baffled. With a little “creativity”, this discovery is easily reconcilable though. Like all those ancient dinosaur fossils, God simply placed it here to test our faith. Or maybe the tree’s not REALLY 9,950 years old; God just made it appear to be that old through manipulation of the physics of carbon dating. Maybe this tree was grown in God’s private garden, and He teleported it hear soon after He created Earth. This tree could even be an embodiment of God. Maybe the tree is God. Perhaps the Earth grew from this tree. Or maybe the Earth really is four billion years old after all.

This tree is a remarkable find. Granted, this tree hasn’t been in its same bark and trunk for 9,550 years as one might think. Since it’s a spruce, it basically makes genetic copies of itself and has the ability to make new trunks to survive various stages of earthly inclement weather. Or at least that’s how I understand it. And because we can examine that fallen bark, we can determine the age of the tree via carbon dating rather than having to harm the current trunk. Regardless, this tree has been around in some manner or another since roughly 7,542 BCE; since the 8^th millennium BCE. The Ice Age had just ended. Agriculture had only recently (in relative terms) become practical in the Fertile Crescent. There were perhaps 5 million people on earth. Total. It predates the mythical Moses by 6,000 years. Think about how old that is. It’s unbelievably old. People were barely beginning to form permanent settlements. Humankind’s last known close relative, the homo floresiensis, had only become extinct about 2,500 years prior to the birth of this tree. Remarkable. I hope it lives another 9,500 years.

Word of the Day: Contrite (adj): 1. Deeply affected with grief and regret for having done wrong; penitent; as, "a contrite sinner." 2. Expressing or arising from contrition; as, "contrite words."

On This Day in History: The dome of the Hagia Sophia, in Constantinople, collapses (558 CE). Justinian I orders it rebuilt immediately. The tree in Sweden laughs at man’s feebleness; it is roughly 8,100 years old. Despite pulling an arrow from her own shoulder, Joan of Arc leads the final charge at the Siege of Orléans (1429). This is the turning point in the Hundred Years’ War, which is but a moment in time for our Swedish tree. The German submarine U-20 sinks the RMS Lusitania, killing 1,198 people (1915). Many formerly pro-German Americans turn against Germany and the US will soon enter WWI. The tree thinks that all man does is fight wars. Nikita Khrushchev announces that the Soviet Union is holding U-2 pilot Gary Powers (1960). The tomb of Herod the Great is discovered (2007).

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?” – Satchel Paige, baseball legend.

“By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out.” – Unknown.