Today has not happened in a while. Being a leap year, we haven’t the opportunity to drink Coffee together on 29 Feb very often. I remember when I was a younger human, leap years were really a big deal because they were so rare, and the idea was quite novel and interesting. It seems nowadays, that no one really cares. I still get a kick out of it, but it’s generally treated like a normal day. I hope that kids still experience it with wonder and amazement.
Ahmadi-Number 1:
Since 1991, it has generally been believed by Americans and others that the United States is the world’s number one power. This isn’t the case anymore. There’s a new kid on the block (not the group), and this new kid has declared that he is now the number one power in the entire world (and perhaps the universe, but if not, then at least the galaxy, or at a minimum, the solar system). Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced that Iran is the world’s number one, saying, “Everybody has understood that Iran is the number one power in the world. Today the name of Iran means a firm punch in the teeth of the powerful and it puts them in their place.” Just so you know. You should not mess with Iran if you value your teeth, because to do so will mean a firm punch in those teeth, which, coming from the number one power in the world, can only mean the creation of a schism between your teeth and your gums, and may even result the premature acquisition of false teeth. This can be bad, especially if you don’t have dental insurance. It is even possible, perhaps likely, that the force of the blow will actually drive your teeth through the back of your head, which would seem to doom you to certain death as those teeth would turn the medulla oblongata into a creamy paste. If for instance the might of Iran’s punch is deflected by your puny arms, the glancing blow will result in an embarrassing scenario which has you spitting out chicklets. You might also defecate out these chicklets, assuming you are hit so hard that you are forced to swallow your teeth. This is a double whammy; they call this move the ole “Genesis and Apocalypse” – Genesis is when Iran hits you in the teeth so hard that you swallow them, and the Apocalypse happens the teeth are removed from your body the old fashioned way. Ouch. You might get hit by Iran, and be knocked unconscious. And this hit might be so hard that when you wake up, your clothes are out of style. Or, Iran might actually hit you into next week, or even next month. If you were to talk smack to Iran, it might get hit, and it’s possible that your ancestors will feel it, because it’ll be a pretty hard hit. Iran doesn’t mess around. There could be as many as three hits: Iran hitting you, you hitting the floor, and the ambulance hitting 75 on the freeway. If you’re gay, you’re a likely target for a hitting by Iran. Beware, for you might be knocked straight by Iran’s might.
With the tomfoolery out of the way, I need only to remind you that Iran has virtually no legitimate force projection capabilities. Sure, it can task Hezbollah with sewing some terror, and it can dominate the Persian Gulf, but this hardly means “number one power in the world.” If Iran wished to stir up economic problems by locking down the Persian Gulf and cutting off the world’s oil supply, it would not be able to do so uncontested, and would very likely come out on the wrong side of any sort of naval engagement with the US Navy. Iran could cause some problems, but then again, so could Venezuela. Or just about any other nation for that matter. However, Iran could cause significant problems for the US in one area: pistachios. The US is more addicted to pistachios than even oil. Cutting off our pistachio imports would cripple American will and we would surely grant Iran anything it wished. Perhaps Amadinejad is onto something…
The Audacity of a Bloke:
We all know that Obama’s hope is audacious. As this article points out, this hope is sort of the equivalent to buying lottery tickets; Obama’s appeal is the same sort of appeal that induces people into buying lottery tickets, despite the odds being overwhelmingly stacked against the purchaser of these tickets. The advertising for such tickets indicates to the buyer, “If you dream it you can win it.” Of course, this is not the case. Not even remotely. But Obama tells us that all we need is hope. He says, sounding much like a commercial for the lottery,
“Hope in the face of difficulty, hope in the face of uncertainty, the audacity of hope. In the end, that is God’s greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation, a belief in things not seen, a belief that there are better days ahead.”
This, like “Hey, you never know” is a powerfully message that induces a certain behavior. Of course both messages are completely absurd. You would have to buy 88 million lottery tickets to have a 50-50 chance of winning, and there is nothing concrete attached to the flowery prose above. But it gets results; Obama leads in most national polls and people keep on buying those tickets.
I do not agree with Obama’s insistence that this “hope” thing is God’s greatest gift to us. And seriously, hope is the bedrock of this nation? And what does the rest of that nonsense mean? A belief that there are better days ahead? When? We really need to step back from the inspirational mumbo-jumbo and look at things a little more objectively. Obama is not a religious experience, Obama is a politician.
But he’d rather not sell himself as a politician. Instead he’s selling himself and his campaign as a movement, whether that’s political or spiritual, and considering his policies are as vague as his nebulous hope, the movement seems to be firmly entrenched in the spiritual realm. To contrast the priorities and policies of Obama and Clinton, one need only look at their t-shirts. Many of Obama’s say, “Vote for Hope” or “Hope for America.” Clinton’s say, “Hillary ’08.” I’m sure this is a selective sample, however, it’s telling. “Vote for Hope?” What does that even mean? I hope every day, but usually, my hopes are dashed against the rocks of reality.
“Sorry about that thing that nobody alive did”:
This year, Congress is going to consider doing what five states have done already: apologize for slavery. Senator Tom Harkin (D-IA) said, “I’m really shocked, just shocked that the federal government hasn’t apologized. It’s time to do so.” Actually, the time to have done so was in about 1865. You know, when people alive had actually participated in the institution of slavery. If people back then had thought it so ghastly as to allegedly fight a war over, why where no apologetic sentiments issued? Too divisive, that’s why. It was a time to heal, apparently. Now we’re supposed to apologize for acts committed by men who were never sorry then, and wouldn’t be now, and we also get to apologize for those who were sorry then, but didn’t have the moral courage to create a ruckus and force the issue.
You’ll never hear me say that slavery was an institution that we should have clung to. Abolishing slavery was a good thing, though our nation happened to do it a little later than some. But I don’t see the point of an official government apology. This sort of sentiment is the result of overwhelming guilt, which is generally a liberal trademark. I, for one, do not feel the least bit guilty for slavery. I didn’t do it, and my family was never wealthy enough to own slaves. But if they were, they probably would have, because that was what one did in many parts of America back then. If they did, I would have thought it regrettable that my family owned slaves, but I would not feel particularly compelled to apologize to African-Americans for it. I think our nation did the right thing, but failed to take advantage of an opportunity to apologize then. And now we’re stuck with that burden? I just don’t understand what purpose an official apology will serve. Perhaps someone can explain it to me in a way void of emotional outbursts and indignation and help me understand why we would want to apologize.
Another thing I find troubling is the precedence for apologies and what goes along with them. In 1988, the government apologized for interning Japanese-Americans, and since that wasn’t enough it gave each person still alive $20,000. And in 1993, the government apologized to native Hawaiians for toppling their monarchy in the early 1900s. There is actually a separatist movement in Hawaii, which has been somewhat legitimized by this apology. Will apologizing for slavery mean reparations? If this is the case, how much money will be wasted in verifying who are legitimate descendants of slaves? How do we combat fraud? Is it a wound that we truly want to open back up? If so, then I would ask that the Church and European governments pay me reparations for holding my ancestors in bonded servitude and oppressed them for generations.
I’m just wondering what sort of Pandora’s Box this will open. While I understand the point, I don’t believe it will be beneficial. Perhaps I’m wrong. Educate me, dear readers.
Taliban Receive Royal Ass-Whipping:
Yesterday, Drudge Report broke one helluva story*. It turns out the Britain’s Prince Harry, who is an officer in the British military, has been serving in and taking part in combat operations in Afghanistan.
I’ve followed Prince Harry’s story on and off since it was first revealed that he wanted to join the Army and fight for his country. I’ll admit it drastically changed my opinion of the young royal, who I generally viewed as a spoiled rich brat. Plus, I’m American, so I have a rather dim view of royalty anyway. Anyway, after his training, Harry wanted quite badly to go and fight in Iraq, but was told that wouldn’t happen since he’s third in line for the throne and the fact that he would basically be a bullet magnet and endanger the lives of his men needlessly.
But he got his wish. After the Iraq deployment was quashed, the Army quietly arranged for him to deploy to southern Afghanistan. They made a deal with the press, wherein they would have a great deal of access to Harry before and during his deployment, but would not publish anything prior to his return to Britain in April. The boy would get his wish to serve his nation. And by all accounts, he has done so with honor, taking part in combat operations against the Taliban as a combat air controller. It’s remarkable for a number of reasons, but mostly because the press actually agreed to it. But, unfortunately, Drudge didn’t make such an agreement, so the information was leaked and it is now common knowledge that Harry is deployed.
Now the Prince must return home. It’s simply too risky for him to remain there. Why you ask? Because knowledge that the Prince of Britain is enticing for the Taliban or al-Qaida or whoever else wants some publicity by capturing or killing the man. This endangers him and those in his unit far more than necessary; far more than they would be in normal combat. I must hand it to the British government anyway, because if Harry died in normal combat operations, it would have been a PR nightmare. But allowing him to be actively targeted and captured and paraded around on TV would have been a disaster. Nevertheless, Harry got some of what he wanted, and it’s too bad that he has to leave his men. From the interviews he gave, he sounds like a real soldier, and for a real soldier, leaving your men is a fate worse than death.
*It is unfortunate that Drudge broke this story. His thirst for being first knows no bounds and he knows no tact. He needlessly endangered this man’s life and the lives of his men for a few thousand extra hits on his website (he already gets millions), and some more ad dollars. As much as I generally admire Drudge for his tenacity (although he’s a hugely sensationalist), this disgusts me. I’m frankly surprised, as is much of the British Army, that this was kept quite for as long as it was.
Word of the Day: Aplomb (noun): Assurance of manner or of action; self-possession; confidence; coolness.
On This Day in History: Leap year. As previously discussed, Columbus uses his knowledge of lunar eclipses to convince the natives to provide him with supplies (1504). Hank Aaron becomes the first baseball player to sign a $200,000 contract (1972). The current league minimum pay is higher than his entire contract. I wonder if the salary in any field has risen so quickly. Now, the average salary in the major leagues is in the millions. That is, sadly, about the most interesting thing that seems to have happened on this, the most rare of days.
“The American Republic will endure until the day Congress discovers that it can bribe the public with the public's money.” – Alexis de Tocqueville.
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