Morning Coffee (128)

Greetings, Loyal Coffee Drinkers.

I am, joyously, back from the Abyss (hold the applause), although it has sadly occurred to me that the great “Reason” has not returned from its epochs-long absence from the seething, collective mind that we call mankind. I have, however, found my brief respite from inanity to be refreshing. I was growing tired of reading the news every day; news dominated by so much trite bullshit. But I’ve returned, and we shan’t make a big deal of it.

Political Ponderings for Perspicacious Putzes:

“When, o’gods, commeth The End!? Might thee not send sweet palliation our way for but an instant!? Have we forsaken thee so!?” – Anonymous, Aug 2008.

After nearly three months of little to no “Race-to-the-White House-2008” news, I was getting used to life being simple, less shall we say, retarded. I did not expect the race to be over, because even in a semi-civilized, Third World nation I had ready access to an ancient, albeit important invention: the calendar. And that calendar did not come close to indicating that January 2009 was upon me, or heavens forbid, long in the past. Basically, I had entered into a mini-coma, and when I awoke, McCain and Obama were still dueling. I had missed only variations of the same mundane themes. While “the world had moved on,” as Roland Deschain might say, it really hadn’t. Not for these two campaigns. Current, real-world events, earth shattering as they are to say, Georgians, are merely fodder for these two power hungry juggernauts. These events merely serve to provide opportunities for each candidate to audition for the job of leader of the Free World; i.e. call the opposition weak, or naïve, or foolish. Thankfully they do not yet have the ability to do anything other than wax eloquent on their virtues and how their individual policies will make the world a better place/make the world a safer place/make our lives better/make the boogey man go away.

The issue of the day is how many houses John McCain owns. Or doesn’t own, as the case may be. The story broke when McCain, in response to an interview question, said that he was uncertain how many properties he and his wife own. The Obama campaign latched on to that comment and produced a nice, trite little ad telling us that McCain owns seven properties totaling $13 million in worth.

Of course, Obama has his own home-owning issues, having purchased a 10-foot wide strip of property from some guy named Tony Rezko, who happens to be a convicted felon as the McCain campaign has reminded us.

As with most political nonsense, the heart of the issue is appearances, and this whole thing about the number of houses and how Tony Rezko and Barack Obama may have conducted business is no different. Obama wishes to paint McCain as an out-of-touch elitist, and McCain wishes to paint Obama as a fraudster.

Take this, from Obama at a campaign stop in Virginia:

"Somebody asked John McCain, 'How many houses do you have?’ And he said, I’m not sure. I’ll have to check with my staff. True quote: I’m not sure, I’ll have to check with my staff. So they asked his staff and he said, at least four. At least four! ...

"If you’re like me and you’ve got one house – or you were like the millions of people who are struggling right now to keep up with their mortgage so that they don’t lose their home — you might have a different perspective. By the way, the answer is: John McCain has seven homes. So there’s just a fundamental gap of understanding between John McCain's world and what people are going through every single day here in America."

This is a load of disingenuous crap if I ever saw one. If I’m like him and have got one house? Yeah, I’ve got one house, and I had to take out a $70,000 VA loan to get it, and when I lived there, I struggled mightily to afford it. Obama apparently pulled in $4 million last year and the home he purchased in Chicago in 2006 cost him $1.65 million. Obama makes $90,000 more a year on his Senate salary alone than I do. Obama tries to get chummy with me; tries to be one of the guys. But the truth is he might as well be as rich as McCain and his wife. Comparing the financial struggles of the Obama’s to mine is really to compare apples with oranges, and it makes him look as elitist as he’s trying to portray McCain.

Frankly, the issue of how many houses any particular candidate owns is fairly irrelevant to me as a voter. I have already made peace with the fact that most of these politicians are members of an American aristocracy, with wealth far outstripping anything any member of my family could ever reasonably obtain. Some have been given their wealth whereas others have earned it, though neither of these circumstances changes the fact that they’re wealthy. I expect wealthy people to own multiple homes, and I expect that most of these homes are investments of some kind. I see no evidence of impropriety simply from owning eight homes. However, I do see Obama’s shady appearing real estate dealings with a man convicted of bribery and fraud, a deal that Obama himself admitted was a mistake because it appeared improper, as potentially more indicative of the kind of person he is.

But McCain will tell us just what kind of person Obama is. He’s got his folks whipping up a nice, friendly political ad that will lay it out in plain English for us common folk.

What will I ever talk about once this madness has ceased?

If today’s Brew was weak, forgive me. I need to break in the Pot again.

Word of the Day: Bruit (transitive verb): To report; to noise abroad.

On This Day in History: Pueblo Indians capture Santa Fe from the Spanish during the Pueblo Revolt (1680). James Cook claimed eastern Australia for Great Britain (1770). The Virgin Mary was allegedly seen by some people in Ireland (1879). If true, this would be the last time a virgin over the age of 21 has been seen on earth. Lake Nyos in Cameroon belches carbon dioxide gas, killing 1,800 people within 12 mile range (1986).

Also, today was the day of the rape of the Sabine women, during which the Romans under Romulus forcibly took women from the Sabines as wives in order to increase their population. The Sabines intended to declare war on the Romans for this insult, but the Sabine women, having been treated honorably, voluntarily accepted their Roman husbands. Thus is history when written by the victors…