Remember those old Public Service Announcement commercials during the 1980s and 1990s that said, “It’s 10 o’clock, do you know where your children are?” I was just sitting here trying to come up with a pithy intro to our MC and was looking at the clock. And as the minute hand kept creeping past 0800, I was thinking of some commercial popping up on your TV or computer screen saying, “It’s 8 o’clock, do you know where your Coffee is?” Sometimes the Pot is broken and creeps along at a snails pace despite having plenty of grounds.
Finally, Dude, I’m Getting a Dell!:
I’m not a smart man when it comes to certain things. For example, I do not understand cricket. And higher math gives me fits. I’m comfortable enough in my faux genius to admit these things. Another thing I don’t get, a big thing, is economics. Listen, I’ve taken macroeconomics in college, and it’s helped me not at all (I had to flush it to make room for other things; my hard drive’s only so big). I know what GDP is. I know that our government ought to at least attempt to operate within the same basic economic principles that us peons are expected to live by. You know, not spending more than you earn or can pay on within a reasonable period, that sort of foolishness. But I don’t get “economics.”
We’re apparently in an economic downturn. Interesting phrase. Better than collapse or implosion, I suppose. But I don’t know how or why. Well, perhaps it’s because people spend more money than they can afford to spend on houses. But I’m sure it’s deeper than that. I just don’t get it. I know that, “it’s the economy, stupid!” but I’m dumb. Side note: You ever notice that anyone with a bachelor’s degree in economics or business is somehow an expert on all things “national economy?” I have. If they were so expert, we’d never have a recession or “downturn”, right? Forget the Smith and his invisible hand, these people would physically guide and shape the economy to their will. I think they’re more foolish about these things than I even with their degrees.
Okay, back to the downturn. The solution to this downturn is…tax rebates, or as our leaders call it, an economic-stimulus package. Eight-hundred dollars per person (who pays income tax) and up to $1,600 per family. The idea is that us peasants will rejoice in The Man’s throwing money at us and will go out and do what we do best: blow it. Infuse the economy with dollars. This seems weird to me for a number of reason. What if everyone simply saves the rebate? Okay, this probably won’t happen, but recent data suggests that people are spending less. Maybe they’ll all decide it would be better to squirrel the cash away. What are they (we) going to spend this money on? I think the idea is to buy American to, you know, stimulate the economy. Since most of the stuff we buy anymore is imported, won’t this actually stimulate foreign economies? Again, I don’t know. Just a thought. The final thought I have is, does this indicate the need for lowering taxes or something? The idea is to give people more money to spend out in the economy, yet we tax them a lot. But then, we give it back because, well, they didn’t have enough money to spend out in the economy. I don’t know. I got nothing on this economy business. But hey, I might finally be able to afford a new computer (all parts made in China), so, I guess, thanks Uncle Sam!
You’ll be please and comforted to know, however, that our government is working hard, late even, to get this package ready to go (there area few…sticking points…) before House Republicans head out of town this weekend on a legislative retreat. And if they can’t get it done then, they’ll try to get it finished and passed by the House and Senate by mid-February. They’re very concerned that our economy will fall to pieces, so they’re trying to get this out the door before President’s Day in February. If they don’t get it done by then, well, the economy will just have to wait until after their holiday. Priorities my friends. Priorities.
Some critics think that this could increase the federal debt. The Congressional Budget Office estimates that, because of the economy, our deficit would increase to $250 billion, not including any spending attributed to the stimulus package. Who cares? It’s just play money, right? Numbers this big are hard to comprehend, and it generally matters little to our political leadership anyway. Spend, spend, spend! Throw money at it! Make the problems go away until after the election cycle! This is what REALLY matters; that you will be comforted, falsely or otherwise, and cowed into putting them back into power.
Beckham’s Big Foot(print) Bends It:
Yes, that was a play on Beckham’s signature soccer kick and the 2002 movie “Bend it Like Beckham”, which featured a soccer playing Keira Knightly. Yes, it my attempt was poor. But what isn’t poor is David Beckham. He’s got some cash to spend, and he probably won’t feel much of a pinch from our economic down turn. To prove it to you, he went ahead and shattered all possible comprehension of a large “carbon footprint” last year. The British environmental group Carbon Trust estimates that Beckham is responsible for 163 tons of carbon dioxide a year. It doesn’t sound like much, but when compared to the average Englishman’s output (9.4 tons), the figure is staggeringly huge. How did he do it? Easy, he logged 250,000 miles flying back and forth between the US and England for soccer commitments in each country. He also flew 50,000 miles to meet endorsement commitments. He also owns 15 cars.
Carbon Trust thinks that he should spend some of his money educating people or buying greener vehicles, but I don’t really think so. I also think that Carbon Trust’s estimates are bunk and its language overly grand (Beckham’s footprint might be “the largest in human history”). For one, he can’t drive all 15 cars at the same time. Is that taken into consideration? Who knows? The Fox Sports article mentions that he travels for Galaxy (his US team) commitments, but does he travel with the team or separately? Again, I don’t know. I don’t like those carbon footprint estimates because they’re too easily skewed upwards. Flying a private jet while the rest of your team flies commercial is surely worse for your footprint, but if he flies commercial along with his team, then I don’t see how his footprint gets that much bigger. The plane would have made that journey with or without him. Does he really put out 17 times as much carbon as any other Briton? Your guess is as good as mine. I wonder though, what the carbon footprint for the Office of the President is. What about the collective footprint of our 2008 Presidential campaign? I’ll bet both are huge. Nevertheless, Beckham’s got some big feet, both on and off the pitch.
A Note on the Coffee’s Political Coverage:
I haven’t spent much time critiquing the Democratic candidates for the Presidency. I don’t critique because I generally feel that it’s easier for the average person (me included) to see through their BS that it is to do so for the Republicans. And there isn’t much to critique, since they basically run on the same messages every time. If I am wrong in my assessments, let me know. I critique the Republicans because their shenanigans are more interesting and more subtle; the Democrats’ shenanigans are just the same. Besides, we know that we’re either going to get Obama or Clinton. No surprises there. Clinton’s well known, and Obama’s pretty well known since he was thrust in our faces in the early 2000 (billed by Democrats as a possible President even then). But the Republican nomination is still very much up for grabs. It could be any of the three “frontrunners.” In any case, I already know that I don’t care for either of the potential Democratic nominee. I still don’t know what to think about the Republicans’ candidates. Vile, yes, but do I actually not like them yet? No. I’ve covered Huckabee and Romney a fair amount, mostly through the lens of religion, but I’ve not done much with McCain. For the longest time, everyone thought his campaign was dead, but here he is, the sort-of frontrunner. So now I should cover him. I will bathe him in the discerning light that is the Morning Coffee very soon. Perhaps some readers will assist.
I just wanted to make clear that my coverage or lack of should not be read as tacit approval for any candidate or any party. The Coffee strives to be objective. Not always possible, but always the goal.
Word of the Day: Nolens volens (phrase): Whether unwilling or willing. Neat phrase.
On This Day in History: Gaius Caesar (Caligula) is assassinated by his unhappy Praetorian Guards (41 CE). King Charles II of England disbands Parliament (1679). The first day of the Sementivae, a Roman festival in honor of Ceres and Terra.
“After I’m dead I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.” – Marcus Porcius Cato, “Cato the Elder”.
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