Morning Coffee (94)

Good morning. I had no intention of Brewing a pot ‘o Morning Coffee today, but as it frequently happens while reading the news, I saw a few things this morning about which I simply had to make you aware. Sometimes there’s a wealth of things to discuss with you; other times there’s a dearth. I suppose we should simply sit back and rejoice about our good fortune…I will eschew pithy titles today, as I simply cannot muster up the creative energy required to amuse you (or myself).

Former First Lady: Bush + Oil + ‘Begging’ = Pathetic:

Okay, I guess that’s pithy enough. Anyway, as you may or may not know, George Bush is touring the Middle East. Yesterday, he visited with Saudi Arabian officials, and the conversation turned from camel racing to oil, as it is wont to do. Bush says (paraphrased) to his Saudi hosts, “Hey, you guys want to go ahead and increase oil output, ‘cause these prices are tough on our economy back in ‘Merica.” The Saudis replied that they’d increase output when justified by the market. Bush then pointed out that if the US economy suffers, then the US will purchase less oil and such. Case closed; fairly diplomatic sounding.

However, Hillary Clinton, potentially our next President, thought Bush’s actions were tantamount to groveling. She said, “President Bush is over in the Gulf now begging the Saudis and others to drop the price of oil. How pathetic…We should have an energy policy right now, putting people to work in green collar jobs as a way to stave off the recession, moving us towards energy independence.”

First, I offer you the obvious. Bush didn’t ask that the Saudis drop the price of oil; he asked that they increase output. Sure, that would drop the price of oil, but it’s disingenuous to suggest that he actually said, “Hey, can you cartel guys drop the price of oil?” Second, this lays bear Mrs. Clinton’s disdain for the Office of the President. Being an elected official (who is also running for President) and calling a sitting President’s actions “pathetic” is contemptible. Hopefully, she will not get a chance to understand what it is like to be President, but if she is elected, I would think that she’d want a little respect from other elected officials, if not the citizenry at large. Which leads me to my next point: if doing one’s job is pathetic, what shall we call getting misty-eyed in front of a crowd of people and reporters because you lost the primary in Iowa? I suggested previously that this was somewhat staged, and hey, it might have won her New Hampshire. But couldn’t we go so far as to say it’s pathetic? Have some dignity Hillary, and lose with some grace. I understand that her tears were designed to show that she’s got a softer side to her steely-eyed demeanor, but if Bush’s actions were pathetic, so too were Hillary’s. Surely, someone who wants to be our President so badly as to cry (and one could argue that we needn’t a person who wants it that badly) could come up with a more eloquent critique of Bush’s energy policies. Apparently not.

All Democratically Elected Leaders are Equal, But Some are More Equal than Others:

Speaking of democracy and elections and Presidents, it’s important to put everything in to context. Sean Penn, who writes on occasion for the San Francisco Chronicle, has called that paper an “increasingly lamebrain paper.” He did this in response to an article that discussed celebrity’s interest in Hugo Chavez, Venezuela’s President. The article, which was “tongue-in-cheek”, “listed a number of potential matchups between celebrities and dictators or other authoritarian figures.” Penn took issue with this, and reminded us that Chavez is a democratically elected leader.

I really find this sentiment to be extremely hilarious. Penn is apparently so naïve that he thinks all “elections” are created equal, which couldn’t be further from the truth, and he utterly ignores the fact that Chavez recently tried to radically alter laws in Venezuela (and who can forget his failed coup in 1992…against a democratically elected President Perez). These alterations would have allowed him to be “elected” President any number of times. He failed in his bid for unlimited terms when the people rejected it in referendum. This is merely the tip of the iceberg. I implore you to read the Wikipedia article on Mr. Chavez for a clearer picture of his transgressions against democracy and liberty.

What’s more, Bush is a democratically elected leader, but that doesn’t prevent Penn and others from heaping scorn upon him, much of it alluding to the fact that Bush is a tyrant. We hear things like, “King George” or the ridiculous “emperor has no clothes” bits spewed forth from their maws constantly. Why then should we not mock the farce that is Hugo Chavez’s Presidency? Chavez has undermined more liberties in Venezuela than Bush has in the US. Who is has the deeper tyrannical aspirations?

It’s remarkable to me that someone who thinks themselves so smart can be so utterly blinded by a charismatic, would-be dictator turned elected President. Sean Penn, and many of his Hollywood friends, should stick to acting. If they cannot, then they should at least recognize that their positions as celebrities gives them a wide, easily influenced audience, and they should temper their remarks with some reason and logic, and should not make uninformed remarks. They have some responsibility for what they say, as do even we “little people.” And if they cannot temper their remarks, they should be prepared to be openly ridiculed and mocked by others.

Political Update:

That’s the new moniker for the Morning Coffee. I kid. What I mean to say is Romney won the Michigan primary-thing yesterday. You might ask why there is no Democratic winner. Well, because Michigan opted to move their primary to earlier in the year than it used to be, the national-level Democratic Party basically didn't allow them to hold a primary. I had forgotten about this; it made the news some time ago. Clinton was the only person on the Dems ballot, so she sort of won. But Obama would have secured 73% of the African-American vote had he been on the ballot. Anyway, apparently independents and Democrats had to register Republican to have a say, and a lot of them did. They were disillusioned by their party's refusal to allow them a say. That's not to say they're going to vote Republican in the general election. I'm not saying that at all. But I wonder how the voting in the Michigan primary skews the projections for winners in that state, since a lot of Democrats voted for Romney.

Word of the Day: Maisma (noun): 1. A vaporous exhalation formerly thought to cause disease; broadly, a thick vaporous atmosphere or emanation. 2. A harmful or corrupting atmosphere or influence; also, an atmosphere that obscures; a fog.

On This Day in History: Speaking of dictators, the Roman Senate bestows the title Augustus upon Gaius Julius Caesar Octavianus, the adopted son of Gaius Julius Caesar (27 BCE). Thus ends the Republic. The 18^th amendment was ratified, authorizing Prohibition in the US (1919). John Holland, the 1^st Duke of Exeter, was executed (1400). Edward Gibbon, first modern historian and author of the great work “The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” died of peritonitis, as a result of surgeries to correct hydrocele testis (1794). Imagine his discomfort; clothes during this age were very tight-fitting and likely caused his hycrocele testis some significant pain.

“No people ever recognize their dictator in advance. He never stands for election on the platform of dictatorship. He always represents himself as the instrument [of] the Incorporated National Will. ... When our dictator turns up you can depend on it that he will be one of the boys, and he will stand for everything traditionally American. And nobody will ever say "Heil" to him, nor will they call him "Führer" or "Duce." But they will greet him with one great big, universal, democratic, sheeplike bleat of "O.K., Chief! Fix it like you wanna, Chief! Oh Kaaaay!" – Dorothy Thompson.

Morning Coffee (85)

Greetings, dear Coffee drinkers. I sort of took some time off for the ole Holidays, then I caught the strep equivalent of bubonic plague (‘cause I’m a sinner) and thought I was going to die. My local “urgent care” wasn’t so urgent with their care, but my doc shot me full of antibiotics and ‘roids (for inflammation), and now I have bad back acne, horrible rage, and a growing Neanderthal-like brow. But I can now hit the snot out of a baseball. I was hoping to have brewed you a pot o’Coffee yesterday morning, but Time-Warner decided that half of the internet should be off limits to me, thus I was unable to do much.

Now, onto the Coffee…

Trespass Not, War Criminals, Upon Our Beloved Vermont:

The Uber-liberal folks from the Green Mountain State town of Brattleboro have had it up to their berets with war criminals; particularly war criminals named Bush and Cheney. So tired they are of these horrific monsters that they are about to talk about doing something about them. Kurt Daims, a retired machinist who cuts a Castro-esque figure with his graying beard and bright red beret, is part of a group that is petitioning to have an item on the agenda of Brattleboro’s town meeting that would make Bush and Cheney subject to arrest and indictment for war crimes were they to ever happen to step foot in the town.

Yes, you read that right. The President and Vice-President subject to arrest in a Podunk town in Vermont for war crimes. Daims says, “This petition is as radical as the Declaration of Independence, and it draws on that tradition in claiming a universal jurisdiction when governments fail to do what they're supposed to do.” I think Daims ought to lay off whatever it is he’s smoking, because this isn’t any where near as radical as the Declaration of Independence. Interesting, yes, but that radical? Hardly. And imagine if you will, the mighty Sheriff of Brattleboro, fully vested with the awesome power of the Brattleboro town council, executing the dual Bush-Cheney arrest warrant. He and his constables pitted against a mere handful of poorly armed Secret Service agents, they with their sub-par training and under-armored vehicles. Surely, the agents would surrender the leader of the Free World to men such as these, who are latter-day Green Mountain Boys led by a new-age Ethan Allen in Daims. Puh-lease…

Surely, our present administration hasn’t exactly conducted itself with the utmost integrity and honor (what administration has?), but I think that making a strong war crimes case against any member of said administration would be pretty difficult. This is little more than fraud, waste, and abuse, in my humble opinion. Daims is attempting to make a noisy political statement by utterly wasting his town’s time and money; even the rational members of Battleboro’s society realize that time would be better spent on town issues. I agree that when our leaders fail to do their jobs, it is our responsibility to divest them of their power, lest we become little more than their enablers; little more than slaves. But pointless, hippy gestures in pointless, hippy towns do not a “regime change” make.

A Pestiferous Penile Petition of Preposterous Proportions:

Imagine, my male readers, strolling through a park in sunny Columbus, Ohio. Just up ahead, you see a beautiful topless sunbather, someone that you see every day. You approach the woman and strike up a conversation. You get comfortable. She’s laughing at your stupid jokes, clearly into you. She rests her foot on your shoulder. After a few minutes more of overt flirtation, she asks to see your penis. You glance around and see that no one is close by, and you comply. Seconds later, you are handcuffed face down in the grass with uniformed police officers swarming about. You have just been arrested for public indecency and the cops have the video tape to prove that you did in fact whip out your manhood in public. Shame on you, pervert.

This actually happened, in Columbus’ Berliner Park last May. The man, fire-fighter Robin Garrison, did all the above and was snared in a police sting targeting men having sex or masturbating in the park. Garrison was convicted, ordered to stay away from the park, fined $250, and placed on a year’s probation. He’s still a firefighter while his department conducts an internal investigation, but he’s on paid desk duty. Convicted perverts cannot be trusted to fight fires. Garrison’s attorney is planning an appeal, stating that his arrest was pure entrapment. The police don’t seem to think so, obviously, and have, as a collective across the country, been sinking to fairly low levels to secure arrests; providing “opportunities” to commit crimes. It is unclear as to whether or not the woman worked for police, but it doesn’t seem so. If that’s the case, then the police can argue that, since she’s not an agent of the law, they didn’t entrap anyone. I counter with the obvious: Why were police filming a topless woman in the park without her consent or knowledge? Is that not somewhat perverted? If she had given consent, then she’s an agent of the law, uniformed or not…as the case may be.

You may wonder why the woman wasn’t charged with indecency, since she had her breasts bared for the world to see. It is legal in Ohio for a woman to sunbath topless, since breasts are not, according to the law, considered genitalia. Fair enough. It’s only indecent if it’s part of our reproductive system. You know, only the filthy penis and vagina. This modern, enlightened view of mankind’s sexuality is clearly derived from the archaic views of our Puritan ancestors (old men all), who viewed anything sexual as unclean, unnatural, and god damned sinful, proclaiming as such in Sunday mass, all the while furiously yanking their cranks like hormone addled teenagers under the pulpit. I’m all about throwing into jail furious masturbators and seedy perverts, but the police should have used a little bit of prudence in this case. I somehow doubt that Garrison is a chronic public masturbator who makes it a point to ejaculate on schoolchildren or shows his wang to women who don’t ask for it. A half-naked woman asked to see his penis, and, subject as he is to hormone and instinct, he complied.

Another interesting aspect of this sting is that it targeted men having sex or masturbating. Not women. Since hetero sex usually involves a man and a woman, an argument could be made that this sting targeted not only masturbating perverts, but gay men; unless of course, the police only intended on arresting the male member of the hetero act, which would be beyond stupid.

Exorcise Them There Demons:

The Daily Mail reports that Pope Benedict XVI has ordered the clergy, bishops specifically, to establish exorcism squads, the sole duty of which will be to stem the surge of Satanism. These bishops must maintain on hand a certain number of priests in each diocese who are able to combat demonic possession, should the need arise. And arisen it has, for demons are everywhere. Even…in you. With the internet and rock music, you are being bombarded with Satan’s influence, and you might not even know it.

Father Gabriele Amorth, the Vatican’s “exorcist-in-chief” revealed the plan to the online Catholic news service Petrus, saying,

“Thanks be to God, we have a Pope who has decided to fight the Devil head-on. Too many bishops are not taking this seriously and are not delegating their priests in the fight against the Devil. You have to hunt high and low for a properly trained exorcist. Thankfully, Benedict XVI believes in the existence and danger of evil...”

I cannot imagine why anyone, priests included, would “not take this seriously.” I mean really, this sort of black magic superstition is best left in the Dark Ages. Imagine the government setting up squads of black-clad men trained in crypto-zoology who rush into action to fight the dastardly chupacabra or horrific yeti. This is hardly different than believing that the plague is a punishment for immorality and sin rather than an organism that can and will infect believer and nonbeliever alike. Demonic possession, in this case, exists only in the minds of phobia-addled Catholics. I know that some of you will take extreme issue with my harsh wording here, and it's not meant to be a personal assault, but I will say that what good religion and Catholicism does, it’s frequently nullified by dangerous and counterproductive superstitions; vestiges of a time when man was unable to comprehend germ theory and had a complete lack of understanding of the solar system (despite the means with which to do so). And these superstitions, such as it being a sin to “waste seed”, are presently clung to as if they alone will save mankind from some mythical beast called the Devil, or worse, itself. Maybe it’s time to recognize that “demonic possession” is merely a psychological response to being wholly repressed by superstitious mumbo-jumbo.

But if the Church must enact “exorcism squads” to combat ghosts and wraiths, let them at least train them so they can avoid instances unsanctioned exorcisms which result in the injuries or deaths of those they’re supposed to be helping. And that’s what the Pope’s going to do, apparently. While technically, all priests can perform exorcisms (Canon Law 1172), very few are selected to do so. The Pope has ordered his bishops to develop training courses; so more priests will be able to leap into action were Satan to rear his ugly, horned head.

Also, the Pope wishes to, well, resurrect a prayer to St. Michael the Archangel which is a protection against evil and usually recited at the end of Mass. This prayer was eliminated in the 1960s.

Having said all that, however, the Vatican has denied that the Pope plans on doing any of the above.

Word of the Day: Persiflage (noun): Frivolous or bantering talk; a frivolous manner of treating any subject, whether serious or otherwise; light raillery.

On This Day in History: The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) is formed (1922). Saddam Hussein is executed (2006). Today is also Freedom Day for Scientologists. Freedom is just another word for slavery.

“At least two-thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity: idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religious or political ideas.” – Aldous Huxley

Morning Coffee (81)

Did you know that 4 out of 5 readers prefer their Morning Coffee served with a slice of sarcasm?

On the way in to brew the Coffee this morning, I was once again listening to my massive mix CD. This time, “Born in the USA” by Bruce Springsteen came on, and I came to the sudden realization that Springsteen might have the worst singing voice of any iconic American musician, but for some reason, you like listening to him. For some reason, when you hear that synthesized piano thing in the intro to “Born” you’re always like, “I love Springsteen.” He’s gotten better with age, but back when he did the album “Born in the USA” he just sounded like a tortured kitten with that constant yell/singing thing he did. Despite that, it’s a good album, and he’s a good musician, even if the meaning to his most recognized song is misunderstood.

Presidential Dynasties:

I’m sure by now you’ve all heard that if Hillary is elected in 2008, we’ll have had two families in our highest office since 1988. It would be even worse were she to be re-elected in 2012, which is not out of the question as the incumbent. Maybe no one has thought about this, but we could have a Bush or a Clinton in the White House for 28 years total. From 1988 to 2016. This is a very real possibility. Do we really think this is a good precedent?

Allow me to grandly hypothesize for a moment. Join me in it, because if we can’t imagine and be scared of a future, then what shall deter us from it? A worst case scenario could be a 63 year old Jeb Bush running in 2016 and serving two terms. By then (2024) Chelsea Clinton would be 44. She’d be a young candidate, sure, but she could run and serve two terms. That’d put our dynasty out until 2032. Forty-four years of rule by two families. This wouldn’t be such a bad thing if all of the above were qualified, quality candidates. But Hillary Clinton already sees herself as heir apparent, how bad would the Bush/Clinton perception of entitlement get after her terms as our President. Jeb Bush might sweep in like a savior in 2016 as a reminder of the Bush-era. Same with Clinton in 2024. Nostalgia is a powerful thing, and it rarely forces one to remember accurately. And this is only the family members presently in the public eye.

When my grandchildren and their children reflect on our nation in the distant future, I’d rather not have the blight of a 44-year two-family dynasty on the political record. There are enough political blights to be ashamed of in our nation, and by then there will be more. But this, to me, would be amongst the most offensive. I grant you that this is an extremely unlikely possibility, because I do have a little faith in the people to not choose this path, but it is nonetheless a possibility. If we simply dismiss this possibility as impossible, we are then in gross negligence, and what is to stop it from becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Thus Falls the Giant:

Have you not heard? We have surrendered. We have surrendered to Ahmadenijad; conceded defeat by issuing the National Intelligence Estimate on Iran’s nuclear program. Ahmadenijad says so. The NIE was a declaration of surrender. It was not an intelligence product tainted by political pandering. No, friends, it was surrender to the glory and power of Ahmadenijad. Just keep that in mind for next time. Surrenders are subtle these days.

To celebrate Ahmadenijad’s victory over tyranny and totalitarianism, his government shut down 24 internet cafes and coffee shops and arrested 23 people (11 women) in a 24 hour dragnet intended to fight immorality. You know, immoral computer games, the storing of obscene photos, and the presence of women wearing improper hijab (hats instead of scarves). Go freedom and democracy.

Since I may be called away at any time this morning, I will down the last of our Coffee and bid you adieu.

Word of the Day: Pari passu (PAIR-ee-PASS-oo) (adverb): At an equal pace or rate.

On This Day in History: The Second Battle of Trebia (218 BCE). Hannibal once again thrashes the army of the Roman Republic. In the aftermath, the Roman Senate elects two new consuls, one of which being Gaius Flaminius, who would lead the army to another defeat against Hannibal at Lake Trasimene the next year. Nothing like losing 60,000 men (killed, wounded or captured) in two battles. Also, the Thirteenth Amendment was ratified by Georgia, putting it into effect and banning slavery in the United States (1865).

“I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.” – James A. Baldwin

“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.” – George Bernard Shaw

Morning Coffee (03)

Today's Morning Coffee is brought to you by Boredom. When you've got nothing to do, boredom is there for you.

It's cold out today here in Dayton; weather.com reports that it is currently 23F. For those of you in Erie, it is currently 35F, and for anyone in the Southern California area, it happens to be right around 62F.

I just read a Reuters article that states that the British fear George Bush more than Kim Jong-Il. Yes, you read that right. More. Bush makes the world a more dangerous place, according to British, Canadians, Mexicans, and Israelis. The only person more dangerous: Osama bin Laden. 87% of Britons felt that the Laden-meister was a great or moderate danger to peace, whereas 75% thought the same of G-dub. The Kim-ster tallied a 69% (go Kim), Ahmadine, ahmadeni, amadena-not-gonna-work-here-any-more (the Iranian guy), clocked in at a measly 62%. I guess the Brits don't read the snot that Ahmadinejad spews on a daily basis - Israel should be whipped off the face of the earth, die Zionist pigs, etc. The guy actually scored "better" than Kim. In my humble opinion, Ahmadinejad might just be the person who is the MOST dangerous to world peace. Consider the potential to start a major conflict in a volatile region: A fanatical leader, missiles with the range to strike Tel-Aviv, rapidly growing "peaceful" nuclear program, the ability to control the Straits of Hormuz (through which a gargantuan amount of oil flows), control over a violent and fairly effective group that technically fought the vaunted Israeli army to a stand-still, and immense influence over Iraq's Shia "militias" (insurgents, jihadists, whatever you want to call them this week). If you believe in that Bible book everyone reads so much, Armageddon starts in the Levant...

Let's compare to Kim: Potential nuclear weapons (of unknown reliability and capability - who knows if they would even work), missiles with the potential to reach the western US (I say potential because they might not make it off the launch pad). And these two things are the PLUSES! Consider an economy that is worth about as much as all of my belongings (not much folks), a population that is malnourished and scarred by a lifetime of propaganda, greatly inferior military weapons systems, utter dependence on the goodwill of its arch-rival (South Korea) and its benefactor, China (which is pretty angry at the People's Democratic Republic…I love saying that). I'm not to sure Kim's all that dangerous. Yes, he could start a war. Yes, it could be ugly. And yes, he's the bane of young girls and Japanese movie stars everywhere. But he simply doesn't have the ability to influence world events like Ahmadinejad.

Now, examine bin Ladin: Has no country. Has limited resources. The worlds most hunted man. Constantly on the run. Hated and despised the world over. Hasn't made a significant move in five years. Might be dead. Might not be dead. Is frankly in the top spot because of his reputation: he is the scariest of the bunch because of his aura and mystique. Yeah, he hates us, yeah, he's got a cadre of pretty dedicated men. But he's living on his rep, and this rep, while duly earned, simply shouldn't be enough to a rational human being to include. Honestly, since he ISN'T the leader of a foreign nation, and he IS shrouded in mystery, he's basically the boogie-man. And that scares people. Because people are scared sheep. It's the fear of the unknown that gets us.

So, who's the most dangerous person to world peace? Who knows. It's not like some scientific scale can be applied to this, where points are given for certain behaviors and capabilities. But I will say that, despite Bush's clear believe, faith, what-have-you, he's tempered by a thing called checks and balances. Despite what some may believe, he cannot wage war with whomever he wants. Not to mention, our conventional military's stretched a wee bit thin. You decide. I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts.

A quote for my writer wife: "I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better." - AJ Liebling (1904-1963)

Word of the Day: Fillip (noun) (pronounced like FILL-up): 1. a snap of the finger forced suddenly from the thumb; a smart blow. 2. something serving to rouse or excite; a stimulus. 3. a trivial addition; an embellishment. Also a transitive verb.

On this Day in History: Income tax first introduced in the US (1913).

Currently in my head: Tool, Taylor Swift "Tim McGraw", Snow Patrol "Chasing Cars" (that WAS kind of strange huh, Jen?).

I will see you all Monday. Have a good day today and a great weekend.