Morning Coffee (85)

Greetings, dear Coffee drinkers. I sort of took some time off for the ole Holidays, then I caught the strep equivalent of bubonic plague (‘cause I’m a sinner) and thought I was going to die. My local “urgent care” wasn’t so urgent with their care, but my doc shot me full of antibiotics and ‘roids (for inflammation), and now I have bad back acne, horrible rage, and a growing Neanderthal-like brow. But I can now hit the snot out of a baseball. I was hoping to have brewed you a pot o’Coffee yesterday morning, but Time-Warner decided that half of the internet should be off limits to me, thus I was unable to do much.

Now, onto the Coffee…

Trespass Not, War Criminals, Upon Our Beloved Vermont:

The Uber-liberal folks from the Green Mountain State town of Brattleboro have had it up to their berets with war criminals; particularly war criminals named Bush and Cheney. So tired they are of these horrific monsters that they are about to talk about doing something about them. Kurt Daims, a retired machinist who cuts a Castro-esque figure with his graying beard and bright red beret, is part of a group that is petitioning to have an item on the agenda of Brattleboro’s town meeting that would make Bush and Cheney subject to arrest and indictment for war crimes were they to ever happen to step foot in the town.

Yes, you read that right. The President and Vice-President subject to arrest in a Podunk town in Vermont for war crimes. Daims says, “This petition is as radical as the Declaration of Independence, and it draws on that tradition in claiming a universal jurisdiction when governments fail to do what they're supposed to do.” I think Daims ought to lay off whatever it is he’s smoking, because this isn’t any where near as radical as the Declaration of Independence. Interesting, yes, but that radical? Hardly. And imagine if you will, the mighty Sheriff of Brattleboro, fully vested with the awesome power of the Brattleboro town council, executing the dual Bush-Cheney arrest warrant. He and his constables pitted against a mere handful of poorly armed Secret Service agents, they with their sub-par training and under-armored vehicles. Surely, the agents would surrender the leader of the Free World to men such as these, who are latter-day Green Mountain Boys led by a new-age Ethan Allen in Daims. Puh-lease…

Surely, our present administration hasn’t exactly conducted itself with the utmost integrity and honor (what administration has?), but I think that making a strong war crimes case against any member of said administration would be pretty difficult. This is little more than fraud, waste, and abuse, in my humble opinion. Daims is attempting to make a noisy political statement by utterly wasting his town’s time and money; even the rational members of Battleboro’s society realize that time would be better spent on town issues. I agree that when our leaders fail to do their jobs, it is our responsibility to divest them of their power, lest we become little more than their enablers; little more than slaves. But pointless, hippy gestures in pointless, hippy towns do not a “regime change” make.

A Pestiferous Penile Petition of Preposterous Proportions:

Imagine, my male readers, strolling through a park in sunny Columbus, Ohio. Just up ahead, you see a beautiful topless sunbather, someone that you see every day. You approach the woman and strike up a conversation. You get comfortable. She’s laughing at your stupid jokes, clearly into you. She rests her foot on your shoulder. After a few minutes more of overt flirtation, she asks to see your penis. You glance around and see that no one is close by, and you comply. Seconds later, you are handcuffed face down in the grass with uniformed police officers swarming about. You have just been arrested for public indecency and the cops have the video tape to prove that you did in fact whip out your manhood in public. Shame on you, pervert.

This actually happened, in Columbus’ Berliner Park last May. The man, fire-fighter Robin Garrison, did all the above and was snared in a police sting targeting men having sex or masturbating in the park. Garrison was convicted, ordered to stay away from the park, fined $250, and placed on a year’s probation. He’s still a firefighter while his department conducts an internal investigation, but he’s on paid desk duty. Convicted perverts cannot be trusted to fight fires. Garrison’s attorney is planning an appeal, stating that his arrest was pure entrapment. The police don’t seem to think so, obviously, and have, as a collective across the country, been sinking to fairly low levels to secure arrests; providing “opportunities” to commit crimes. It is unclear as to whether or not the woman worked for police, but it doesn’t seem so. If that’s the case, then the police can argue that, since she’s not an agent of the law, they didn’t entrap anyone. I counter with the obvious: Why were police filming a topless woman in the park without her consent or knowledge? Is that not somewhat perverted? If she had given consent, then she’s an agent of the law, uniformed or not…as the case may be.

You may wonder why the woman wasn’t charged with indecency, since she had her breasts bared for the world to see. It is legal in Ohio for a woman to sunbath topless, since breasts are not, according to the law, considered genitalia. Fair enough. It’s only indecent if it’s part of our reproductive system. You know, only the filthy penis and vagina. This modern, enlightened view of mankind’s sexuality is clearly derived from the archaic views of our Puritan ancestors (old men all), who viewed anything sexual as unclean, unnatural, and god damned sinful, proclaiming as such in Sunday mass, all the while furiously yanking their cranks like hormone addled teenagers under the pulpit. I’m all about throwing into jail furious masturbators and seedy perverts, but the police should have used a little bit of prudence in this case. I somehow doubt that Garrison is a chronic public masturbator who makes it a point to ejaculate on schoolchildren or shows his wang to women who don’t ask for it. A half-naked woman asked to see his penis, and, subject as he is to hormone and instinct, he complied.

Another interesting aspect of this sting is that it targeted men having sex or masturbating. Not women. Since hetero sex usually involves a man and a woman, an argument could be made that this sting targeted not only masturbating perverts, but gay men; unless of course, the police only intended on arresting the male member of the hetero act, which would be beyond stupid.

Exorcise Them There Demons:

The Daily Mail reports that Pope Benedict XVI has ordered the clergy, bishops specifically, to establish exorcism squads, the sole duty of which will be to stem the surge of Satanism. These bishops must maintain on hand a certain number of priests in each diocese who are able to combat demonic possession, should the need arise. And arisen it has, for demons are everywhere. Even…in you. With the internet and rock music, you are being bombarded with Satan’s influence, and you might not even know it.

Father Gabriele Amorth, the Vatican’s “exorcist-in-chief” revealed the plan to the online Catholic news service Petrus, saying,

“Thanks be to God, we have a Pope who has decided to fight the Devil head-on. Too many bishops are not taking this seriously and are not delegating their priests in the fight against the Devil. You have to hunt high and low for a properly trained exorcist. Thankfully, Benedict XVI believes in the existence and danger of evil...”

I cannot imagine why anyone, priests included, would “not take this seriously.” I mean really, this sort of black magic superstition is best left in the Dark Ages. Imagine the government setting up squads of black-clad men trained in crypto-zoology who rush into action to fight the dastardly chupacabra or horrific yeti. This is hardly different than believing that the plague is a punishment for immorality and sin rather than an organism that can and will infect believer and nonbeliever alike. Demonic possession, in this case, exists only in the minds of phobia-addled Catholics. I know that some of you will take extreme issue with my harsh wording here, and it's not meant to be a personal assault, but I will say that what good religion and Catholicism does, it’s frequently nullified by dangerous and counterproductive superstitions; vestiges of a time when man was unable to comprehend germ theory and had a complete lack of understanding of the solar system (despite the means with which to do so). And these superstitions, such as it being a sin to “waste seed”, are presently clung to as if they alone will save mankind from some mythical beast called the Devil, or worse, itself. Maybe it’s time to recognize that “demonic possession” is merely a psychological response to being wholly repressed by superstitious mumbo-jumbo.

But if the Church must enact “exorcism squads” to combat ghosts and wraiths, let them at least train them so they can avoid instances unsanctioned exorcisms which result in the injuries or deaths of those they’re supposed to be helping. And that’s what the Pope’s going to do, apparently. While technically, all priests can perform exorcisms (Canon Law 1172), very few are selected to do so. The Pope has ordered his bishops to develop training courses; so more priests will be able to leap into action were Satan to rear his ugly, horned head.

Also, the Pope wishes to, well, resurrect a prayer to St. Michael the Archangel which is a protection against evil and usually recited at the end of Mass. This prayer was eliminated in the 1960s.

Having said all that, however, the Vatican has denied that the Pope plans on doing any of the above.

Word of the Day: Persiflage (noun): Frivolous or bantering talk; a frivolous manner of treating any subject, whether serious or otherwise; light raillery.

On This Day in History: The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) is formed (1922). Saddam Hussein is executed (2006). Today is also Freedom Day for Scientologists. Freedom is just another word for slavery.

“At least two-thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity: idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religious or political ideas.” – Aldous Huxley

Morning Coffee (84)

The newest Internet Explorer is the clunkiest, crappiest web browser I’ve ever laid eyes upon. It tries to be everything Firefox and Opera are, but fails miserably. Sure, it’s got tabs and pretends to be customizable, but it isn’t. After messing with it for ten minutes or so, I cannot seem to move the icons anywhere, which are now nowhere near where they used to be. I’m all about improving a product, but IE’s been one way for about, oh, ever, so moving around functional keys and making them seemingly immobile in locations nowhere near where they were is not a good way to do business. It annoys me. End rant.

The MC is Pro-Choice…:

…when it comes to items to discuss. And there seems to be few choices in today’s news. We can read about Jamie Lynn Spears’ pregnancy woes, or the Presidential campaign. It appears these things are all that is happening in the whole wide world. Sure, I could once again bore you with my snore inducing discussion on the election, but I won’t today. It’s the Friday before the holiday on which we celebrate the birth of that one guy while refusing to acknowledge the holiday’s connection to other guys that came before the one guy. Confused? Me too.

The Year of the Four Emperors:

Since the MC cannot compete with the sensational Jamie Lynn drama currently playing out in the tabloids (and the New York Times) or the regal excitement of the election cycle, we might as well discuss something that will thoroughly bore you. To tears even.

In 68 CE, that’s 1,939 years ago, Rome was on the verge of turmoil once again after nearly 100 years of stability. Nero, the unpopular last emperor of the Julio-Claudian dynasty was forced to commit suicide, and was succeeded by Servius Sulpicius Galba. Galba didn’t make many friends, especially in the army, as he refused to pay them the rewards he promised. This is no way to ensure a long rule as emperor of Rome. When the legions refused to recognize him, he panicked and named a young senator as his successor. This didn’t please Marcus Salvius Otho, who bribed the Praetorian Guard which killed Galba in the Forum.

Otho was immediately accepted as emperor by the senate. It seemed like stability would once again reign, and that Otho would be a fair ruler. However, Aulus Vitellius, the governor of Germania Inferior, felt himself worthy of rule. His key qualification? The loyalty of the finest legions in the empire. Otho tried to secure peace, but the gears of the war machine were already turning and Otho was defeated at Bedriacum. He then committed suicide, having served as emperor of Rome for three months.

The senate, with their typical moral fiber, immediately recognized Otho’s vanquisher, Vitellius. He committed a major political faux pas though, especially in superstitious Rome. On 18 July, the anniversary of the disastrous Battle of Allia in 390 BC, Vitellius chose to accede to the office of Pontifex Maximus, the highest religious office in Rome. Three hundred years previous, and the Romans remembered getting slapped around by filthy Gauls as if it were the day prior.

If that weren’t bad enough, Vitellius had habit of spending money as if it grew on olive trees, which it did not, even in wealthy Rome. He nearly caused the imperial treasury to go bankrupt – not an easy feat. Anyone who dared to collect on debts owed by the state was killed. He was also fond of whacking those who may have (for whatever reason) named him as their heir, and invited his rivals to join him in power, only to kill them and take their money. Real nice fellow.

But the ultimate arbiter of power struggles, the army, was swift to take action. The legions in AEgyptus, Iudaea, and Syria proclaimed General Titus Flavius Vespasianus, or Vespasian, as emperor. Vespasian was given command of Iudaea by Nero in 67 CE to politely ask the Jews to stop revolting, which they were convinced to do. Ultimately, this ended poorly for Vitellius. He whined and sniveled and tried to bribe people into helping him, but the Beatles’ lyric “can’t buy me love” turned out to be very true for poor Vitellius. He was caught and killed by Vespasian’s men on 20 Dec 69 CE. The next day, today being the anniversary, the senate recognized Vespasian as emperor.

Vespasian ruled over a stable empire for ten years and was the start of the Flavian dynasty, which lasted until 96 CE. He died of natural causes, and his last words were a somewhat comical (because he probably believed it) reference to Rome’s penchant for deifying recently deceased emperors: “Vae, puto deus fio.” “Dear me, I must be turning into a god.” Little did he know, Jesus had begun his monopoly on deified man.

Future generations of Romans refused to be outdone by this tumultuous year, however. Rome experience a “Year of the Five Emperors” in 193 CE and a “Year of the Six Emperors” in 238.

My point? I really haven’t one, other than today’s the anniversary of Vespasian’s coronation. But I figured I’d take a break from the usual current information you’re uninterested in and force feed you some historical information you’re uninterested in. I won’t make a habit of it, since that’s no way to run a successful blog-thing. But to make the pain less obvious, I’ll tie it to our political world…loosely.

Today’s politics are damn near as brutal as they were then. While we don’t have coups and the such in America, we do have vicious political maneuvers by politicians you could describe as less than ethical. And while Roman politicians and emperors could be literally killed for their aspirations, today’s politicians can die a hundred figurative deaths. I think the Romans would be happy they don’t have to politick in our system.

Word of the Day: Finical (adjective): Extremely or unduly particular in standards or taste; fastidious; finicky. This word has a smiling picture of Iowa next to it in the dictionary.

On This Day in History: Thomas the Apostle was killed in India (72?). The Mayflower pilgrims land on Plymouth Rock in Massachusetts (1620). Pam Am Flight 103 explodes over Lockerbie, Scotland, killing 270 people (1988). Divalia was celebrated today, in honor of the Angerona/Voluptia, goddess of joy and pleasure and was responsible for driving away the sorrow of life.

“Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.” – Ambrose Bierce

Morning Coffee (83)

Good Morning, dear Coffee drinkers. I hope you’ve had a chance to sample the new addition to our Coffee breaks. The Liquamen is available for consumption primarily on the website. Please, give it a try.

The sole motivating factor for getting to work early is securing a decent parking space.

Romney vs. Putin:

Mitt Romney was apparently on the Glenn Beck program yesterday being interviewed. Beck asked him what he thought about Vladimir Putin being named the Time Person of the Year instead of General Petraeus. The man was positively flabbergasted, replying, “Oh, you are kidding. Did they put Vladimir Putin on the cover?” Apparently, he had no idea, because he stammered about Beck being serious about the whole thing.

Romney was disgusted, citing political prisoners and suspicious murders and the suspension of public dissent and the press. He was angry that Putin received the award in lieu of Petraeus.

He looked foolish, because as you know from drinking yesterday’s Coffee, doing good things is not a prerequisite. He looked even more foolish when he suggested that Raul Castro be the next Time POTY because he too is a dictator (never mind that Putin is an elected official).

Don’t get me wrong, Petraeus has done some remarkable things in Iraq, but Person of the Year he is not. He and Putin are similar in that their names begin with “P” and that they were charged with bringing a nation out of smoking ruins. The difference is, Russia was a superpower that had been atrophying for 16 years or so, and Putin single-handedly brought the country back from the brink and into respectability again. After the first Iraq War, Iraq was a fringe player in its own region, and even with all the success Petraeus has had, it isn’t anywhere close to being even a fringe player again; it is instead where other regional players go to play superpower. Both countries have abundant petroleum wealth, but Russia’s the one that’s able to take advantage of the high prices of oil, not Iraq. Both had mighty armed forces once. But while Iraq’s army can barley achieve a muster, Russia’s military is conducting long range nuclear bomber patrols and sending carrier battle groups in to the Mediterranean. If the POTY is about being influential in the world, Petraeus doesn’t hold a candle to Putin. Romney, like most Americans, is too focused on America to realize someone else can be more influential than one of their own, and he clearly has barley a notion of what the “award” is about. If this is as sophisticated as his understanding of foreign relations gets, we’re in trouble. Maybe he should stick to CEO positions and governorships.

Canterbury: Nativity a Fraud:

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr. Rowan Williams, has assailed the traditional view of the Nativity in a recent interview with Simon Mayo on BBC. This is not to say that he believes that none of it happened, he just contends the traditional view, replete with wise men, oxen and asses, snow and such, is extremely unlikely. Sounds terribly heretical, but it’s actually quite benign. The article on the Telegraph suggests that the interview was more radical than it was (as is my title line), but reading the transcripts, the Archbishop was merely saying that our contemporary view, as indicated on Christmas cards, doesn’t really line up with what the Gospels say. I found the topic interesting, but I also found the sensationalism of the Telegraph article compared to the interview itself to be equally interesting. You can read the article HERE and the interview HERE.

Morning Coffee Does its Best Impression of TMZ.com:

Who would have thought that a person named Spears would receive two sequential mentions in the regal Morning Coffee? Nobody, that’s who. But the news on Jamie Lynn Spears’ pregnancy has provided me with some amusement, I won’t lie. Yesterday, Lynne Spears, Jamie Lynn’s mother (who is a fantastic one by all accounts) announced that her book on parenting would be indefinitely suspended. I cannot imagine why, what with a whack-job like Britney and now a 16 year old pregnant daughter. The book was to be called, “Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World.” I guess it was a “how-to” book about raising a good family while in the public eye. Perhaps this indefinite suspension will stave off an epidemic of teenage pregnancies and pop tart meltdowns in dozens, perhaps hundreds of families. Let’s see…how to raise a family…crazy eldest daughter who blows through $700,000 a month…check…16 year old daughter on the cusp of professional success who gets pregnant by her 18 year old boyfriend with whom she might have been living…check…divorce from husband…check. Quality family successfully raised!

The question about the law has been raised, since Casey Whateverhisnameis is 18 and Ms Spears merely 16 (turned in April). In many states, that’s statutory rape, even among consensual teenagers. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Ms Spears is a very old 16. Doesn’t make it right really, but she is. She makes far more money that 99% of 16 year olds, and has been exposed to money and that lifestyle for half her life. I doubt though, that anyone will be pressing charges on Casey What’shisname. We can say one thing though, at least Britney waited until she was 20 or 21 to engage in sex. I mean, that’s what she told us, right? It should also be mentioned that, failing bashing her baby’s head against a wall, Jamie Lynn will likely be a much better parent than her sister.

CNN.com has a whole huge article with input from readers on how they’re going to tell their kids. There’s a lot of “ground ‘em for life” sentiment, which is understandable. One woman says that Ms Spears is probably really scared and it’s good that she thought the problem through. I don’t think she’s the typical, naïve 16 year old (are there any of those left anyway?) The best answer I read was, “this is why I try to be the best dad I can be – so my kids will look to me as a role model and not these celebrities.” It would be nice if kids had their parents as role models, and it would be nice if they had role models outside the home. But it doesn’t appear to be the case anymore. Our rich, elite class have become pretty messed up. We have no sports stars, musicians, or actors for our kids to actually look up to and admire anymore. But at least we have our politicians.

Word of the Day: Tocsin (TOCK-sin): 1. An alarm bell, or the ringing of a bell for the purpose of alarm. 2. A warning. The Morning Coffee and its derivatives is a tocsin. Or is it a toxin?

On This Day in History: Vespasian enters Rome and claims the title of Emperor (69 CE). He was a general under Nero. Carl Sagan, astronomer, astrochemist, author, humanist and skeptic, died in 1996 at age 62. Sagan was a pioneer in exobiology and was an advocate of SETI. You might know of him only through movie, Contact, which was based on a novel he wrote. The man was a giant and his death (of a rare bone marrow disease) a brutal robbery committed against mankind’s brilliance. And for Luke, he and Apple didn’t see eye to eye.

“For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.”

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.”

“Personally, I would be delighted if there were a life after death, especially if it permitted me to continue to learn about this world and others, if it gave me a chance to discover how history turns out.” – Carl Sagan. I’m right there with you, Carl.

Liquamen I

Liquamen is a fermented Roman fish sauce, and the newest portion of the Morning Coffee. Liquamen was made by taking some fish, placing it in earthenware and covering it with salt, sealing it, and leaving it sit in the sun for a period of time. The white liquid that rises to the top is then strained through cloth. You now have liquamen. Sounds disgusting, but Romans loved it and it was mass produced in factories. No, it doesn't even remotely go with Coffee, but coffee was unknown to Romans, and I like Roman stuff. And it's my blog. Our Liquamen embodies my (fermented) thoughts throughout the day which may (or may not) directly supplement the day's Morning Coffee, but which might be unsuitable for the daily email.

This isn't in the general edition because I don't want political speculation of this type to included in the MC. And I don't want to be held to it since predictions of this sort are not my forte.

Hucka-Who? Hucka-BEE...
I think the Huckster might secure the Republican nomination. And unfortunately, I think he's about the only one, besides maybe Romney, who can compete in the general election.

I say this because, well, McCain is too old and too "mavricky". And he looks to be one step from death, which is not good in Presidential politics. Giuliani has a lot of personal issues that will not fly with the religious base, and he has a very vocal group of people in NY that do not like him. And these aren't nobodies. They're firefighters and the like; respected and admired people. And their power and influence can even be blamed on Giuliani and other right wingers - they turned them into heroes after 9/11. Thompson doesn't even want it; his campaign is falling apart and his staff is convinced that he listens only to his wife. The man has been to Iowa (which in my opinion has a disproportionate amount of say in our absurdly NON-democratic system) about five times (exaggeration). He also looks like death. Despite his vast charisma, I don't think his heart is in it. Ron Paul hasn't a prayer because other than his cadre of supporters ( i.e. cult), no one buys into him. Who else?...Nobody worth mentioning.

Reuters reports that Huckabee is now in a virtual tie with Guliani in a national Reuters/Zogby poll. He's done this with a fraction, and I do mean a fraction, of the money available to his rivals. He's spent some ridiculously low amount in Iowa, and is fairing very well in Iowa. How well? He's made up an 18 point deficit in a month. That is virtually unheard of. Now his rivals are taking aim at him, going ape shit over what they perceived as a Cross in an ad by Huckabee. They fear him, and they should. No one should doubt the power of the evangelical base, which can no longer be counted on to toe the party line after Bush and Company obliterated their loyalty. By this point in the election cycle, the Repub nominee is usually fairly certain; they leave the hemming and hawing to Democrats. No longer. The base is fractured; uncertain of who to vote for. Huckabee is supremely articulate and quite charismatic. And most importantly, he's one of them. He also seems to be qualified on the surface, having led a large congregation and held high leadership positions in his church (I don't know which one...who cares?) and was the governor of Arkansas. Let's not forget who else ascended to the Presidency after having been the governor of Ar-Kansas.

The Huck-Meister has chinks in his armor too, but none of them seem as bad as the chinks in the armor of other Repub candidates. This is especially true now that the momentum has shifted to Huckabee's campaign, and he now has the opportunity to control the message (at which he seems more than adept). Yes, he pardoned some (a few hundred) people, one of whom went on and killed someone in Missura (spelling intentional). Yes, he might want to deliver the US to Jesus. But he's expressed regret for the former, and the latter, which he can simply ignore or downplay to more secular voters, surely panders to his base. The largest gap in his armor might be this: a lot of the precincts that are expected to support Huckabee in Iowa are remote ones, and they may not be counted before the winner in Iowa are announced.

You may think I've forgotten "Oven" Mitt Romney. I haven't. The man's a Mormon. People don't get Mormons. They'll get Mormons a whole lot less once the Rove-ian tactics get busted out, which they will, and by Democrats off all people, if the man secures the Repub nomination. Of this I assure you. Dems know how effective Rove-ian tactics are from personal experience. Mormonism will be all that it is, all the while bare and exposed for public ridicule; it will also be even more of what it is not (if you catch my drift - layman's terms: it'll be one shade less evil than paganism, and two shades less evil than atheists and Satanists). Romney doesn't see the need to explain his religion, and the Mormons I've talked to seem to agree (I wonder why - they know it cripples his chances). So Americans perception (discerning as it is) of Mormonism will be at the whims of Democratic propaganda. Not good.

I know, Kennedy won and he was Catholic, right? Right. How many movies feature Catholic priests and Catholic canon? Tons. They're everywhere. Name a horror movie from the 1980s and it likely featured a troubled priest fighting Satanic forces. Good or bad, we all know what Catholics are. I needn't even mention the fact that Catholicism predates Mormonism by about, oh, 1,800 years. Catholics needn't wage a PR campaign regarding their canon (pedophilia, yes; canon, no). Can you name a famous Mormon? Probably not. Name me 10 famous Catholics (just rattle off "Saint" and any random name ten times). Has any Mormon been involved in the Middle East peace talks? Not that you or I know of. Everyone knows that Mormons are nice people (missionaries), and that's about it. I rest my case on Mormonism vs. Catholicism in Presidential politics.

There's just a few weeks left of the first round of the nonsense that has become the Primary process; we will soon have a clear picture of the Republican nominee (and Democratic nominee too). From the Repub side, religion and perceived morality are going to play the defining role, I think. Far more so than any specific policy issues (those not already covered by religion). This will change in the general election (since the Moral One, whoever that is, will have been chosen), so perhaps now is the right time to think about policy issues too.

Morning Coffee (82)

Another day, another cup o’ Morning Java. Goes well with a side of serfdom and debt bondage, no?

Congressional Oversight:

What do you think of when you hear this glorious term? Well, you might think of the Checks and Balances system, where Congress (the Legislative) is supposed to check, and be balanced by, the Executive and Judicial branches. Or you might think about Congress making sure the Intelligence Community is not doing anything too seedy. Perhaps you merely think of individual members of Congress overseeing their salaries rise every year. Who knows?

But what you probably didn’t think, was Congressional hearings on steroid and human growth hormone use in sports. You wouldn’t think that because it’s absurd. But being absurd, does not make it any less true. Next month we’ll have ample C-SPAN coverage of star-studded hearings in which our Congress will waste our tax dollars listening to a bunch of clean (or not) athletes complain about the rampant use of ‘roids and dirty athletes insist under oath that they don’t use them and don’t know anyone who does.

Senators and Congressmen from both parties have said that they will do what they’re paid (too much) to do; they will legislate the problem into oblivion. New laws will be enacted to make these evil substances more difficult to access and impose harsher penalties for abuse and distribution. Never mind that steroids are already a Schedule II drug, which, last I checked, means they’re illegal to possess without sufficient reason. Apparently, the 85 baseball players named in the Mitchell Report didn’t get that memo. Human growth hormone (HGH) will be reclassified as a Schedule II drug, making it equal to steroids and placing it under the watchful eye of the DEA. And thus grows the War on Drugs.

Two House panels will have hearings on this very important issue that deeply effects the lives of every single American that has ever lived and will ever live. The Committee on Oversight and Government Reform will “soapbox-it-up” on 15 Jan. Be sure to tune in to watch a Bunch of Bloviating Blowhards Blather away like Blithering Boneheads. I wonder if the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform has ever held a hearing on a little ole government reform called “term limits.” Probably not. If they did, then the Rep Bobby Rush (D-Ill) might not still be around (since 1993) and be the chair of the Sub-Committee on Commerce, Trade, and Consumer Protection, which is holding its own hearings on 23 Jan. At least they didn’t form some sort of Performance Enhancing Drugs Commission which would eventually put out a 3,000 page book available on Amazon.com. And in the end, we’ll be secure in the knowledge that our athletes are safe, and cheat free. Until the newest designer drug is designed.

We had several months in which Congress and the President couldn’t agree on funding for the “war” (whatever that is) and we faced the looming threat of widespread layoffs of civilian Department of Defense employees right before the holidays. Partisan bickering paralyzes our government in almost every conceivable way on almost every issue, but we have hearings on the use of steroids by overpaid athletes? All this by a Congress that possesses approval ratings among the lowest in approval rating history.

Putin is the “Person”:

Vladimir Putin, President of the Russian Federation, has just been named Time’s Person of the Year. I say “just” because it was literally five minutes ago. Just so we all know, being Person of the Year (POTY) does not mean endorses or admires the individual (or collective as was the “American Soldier” from the past); it’s merely recognition of the influence the person has had during the year. To illustrate that, Hitler was chosen once, Stalin twice, the Ayatollah once. So, being a “good” guy is not a prerequisite.

Putin had quite the impact this year. The party he leads in all but official title, United Russia, won a majority in the Russian Parliament. He dissolved his cabinet and Prime Minister and stunned Russia Watchers by naming a relatively unknown, Viktor Zhubkov, as his new Prime Minister, and then named Dmitry Medvedev, an extremely close associate since his days in St Petersburg and his current First Deputy Prime Minister, as his choice as successor. He then said that he would be okay with being Medvedev’s Prime Minister. He has seemed to have kept his word that he would honor the Constitution by not seeking a third consecutive term as President and was against amending the Constitution to allow him to do so. But don’t think that will prevent him from holding significant power in Russia, perhaps by expanding the power of the Prime Minister at the expense of the Presidency. Or, since the Constitution only bans three consecutive terms, serving as Prime Minister for a short period of time before Medvedev steps down or becomes ill or dies. Russians love him; his approval rating is consistently above 80%. Even if you assume the figures are tainted and lop off 20 or 30%, his rate is still astronomically higher than our approval of Bush and Congress combined, apparently (and throw in Britney Spears for good measure). Apples and oranges, sure. But interesting.

Spears Gets, Um, Speared:

Speaking of the Spears family, Britney’s young (16) sister Jamie Lynn has announced that she is pregnant. Twelve-weeks so, in fact. This should really do wonders for her career; she’s an actress on a Nickelodeon show. Apparently she’s going to keep it, considering she announced it to some magazine. But needless to say, her mother was shocked. I probably would be too, if I were her. Despite Britney’s abandoning a thing called reality, Jamie Lynn has, according to her mother, always been “conscientious” and has never even missed a curfew. Jamie Lynn herself says that she was shocked for both her and her boyfriend, some guy I’ve never heard of (not Kevin Federline). I guess that, because of her burgeoning acting career, she missed the health class on sex education and didn’t realize that doing that sort of thing could end so badly. She did say to her legion of fans, however, to avoid premarital sex…just like she didn’t; i.e. role model. In fairness, she did know the kid “for years” and had been dating him “since high school” (i.e. last year), so it’s okay. Or it isn’t, because in another interview she says she isn’t dating anyone, has a bunch of guy friends, and likes to keep her legs, er, options open.

A bit low-brow for the Morning Coffee, I know. But I have to use this medium to inform people that I have an alibi – I was in Dayton 12 weeks ago, I assure you. Anyway, I find it sort of funny that such a horrible “blight” can afflict our rich, coddled, and famous.

Word of the Day: Discursive (adjective): 1. Passing from one topic to another; ranging over a wide field; digressive; rambling. 2. Utilizing, marked by, or based on analytical reasoning – contrasted with intuitive. The Morning Coffee can be described as most discursive.

On This Day in History: Three ships, the Susan Constant, Godspeed, and Discovery depart England for the New World carrying the soon to be settlers of Jamestown, Virginia (1606). The Roman festival Opalia, in honor of the chthonic goddess Ops who made vegetation grow, was held.

“Things alter for the worse spontaneously, if they be not altered for the better designedly.” – Francis Bacon

“Evil requires the sanction of the victim.” – Ayn Rand

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Did you know that 4 out of 5 readers prefer their Morning Coffee served with a slice of sarcasm?

On the way in to brew the Coffee this morning, I was once again listening to my massive mix CD. This time, “Born in the USA” by Bruce Springsteen came on, and I came to the sudden realization that Springsteen might have the worst singing voice of any iconic American musician, but for some reason, you like listening to him. For some reason, when you hear that synthesized piano thing in the intro to “Born” you’re always like, “I love Springsteen.” He’s gotten better with age, but back when he did the album “Born in the USA” he just sounded like a tortured kitten with that constant yell/singing thing he did. Despite that, it’s a good album, and he’s a good musician, even if the meaning to his most recognized song is misunderstood.

Presidential Dynasties:

I’m sure by now you’ve all heard that if Hillary is elected in 2008, we’ll have had two families in our highest office since 1988. It would be even worse were she to be re-elected in 2012, which is not out of the question as the incumbent. Maybe no one has thought about this, but we could have a Bush or a Clinton in the White House for 28 years total. From 1988 to 2016. This is a very real possibility. Do we really think this is a good precedent?

Allow me to grandly hypothesize for a moment. Join me in it, because if we can’t imagine and be scared of a future, then what shall deter us from it? A worst case scenario could be a 63 year old Jeb Bush running in 2016 and serving two terms. By then (2024) Chelsea Clinton would be 44. She’d be a young candidate, sure, but she could run and serve two terms. That’d put our dynasty out until 2032. Forty-four years of rule by two families. This wouldn’t be such a bad thing if all of the above were qualified, quality candidates. But Hillary Clinton already sees herself as heir apparent, how bad would the Bush/Clinton perception of entitlement get after her terms as our President. Jeb Bush might sweep in like a savior in 2016 as a reminder of the Bush-era. Same with Clinton in 2024. Nostalgia is a powerful thing, and it rarely forces one to remember accurately. And this is only the family members presently in the public eye.

When my grandchildren and their children reflect on our nation in the distant future, I’d rather not have the blight of a 44-year two-family dynasty on the political record. There are enough political blights to be ashamed of in our nation, and by then there will be more. But this, to me, would be amongst the most offensive. I grant you that this is an extremely unlikely possibility, because I do have a little faith in the people to not choose this path, but it is nonetheless a possibility. If we simply dismiss this possibility as impossible, we are then in gross negligence, and what is to stop it from becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Thus Falls the Giant:

Have you not heard? We have surrendered. We have surrendered to Ahmadenijad; conceded defeat by issuing the National Intelligence Estimate on Iran’s nuclear program. Ahmadenijad says so. The NIE was a declaration of surrender. It was not an intelligence product tainted by political pandering. No, friends, it was surrender to the glory and power of Ahmadenijad. Just keep that in mind for next time. Surrenders are subtle these days.

To celebrate Ahmadenijad’s victory over tyranny and totalitarianism, his government shut down 24 internet cafes and coffee shops and arrested 23 people (11 women) in a 24 hour dragnet intended to fight immorality. You know, immoral computer games, the storing of obscene photos, and the presence of women wearing improper hijab (hats instead of scarves). Go freedom and democracy.

Since I may be called away at any time this morning, I will down the last of our Coffee and bid you adieu.

Word of the Day: Pari passu (PAIR-ee-PASS-oo) (adverb): At an equal pace or rate.

On This Day in History: The Second Battle of Trebia (218 BCE). Hannibal once again thrashes the army of the Roman Republic. In the aftermath, the Roman Senate elects two new consuls, one of which being Gaius Flaminius, who would lead the army to another defeat against Hannibal at Lake Trasimene the next year. Nothing like losing 60,000 men (killed, wounded or captured) in two battles. Also, the Thirteenth Amendment was ratified by Georgia, putting it into effect and banning slavery in the United States (1865).

“I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.” – James A. Baldwin

“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.” – George Bernard Shaw

Morning Coffee (80)

Good day to you. May a thousand vultures peck out your eyes.

I Curse Thee:

I was thinking about Roman curses this morning and did a little research on them. Romans were incredibly spiteful and jealous and loved their curses, which they generally written down rather than spoken. These were called tabulae defixiones. Apparently the curse lasted only as long as the material upon which it was written, and all of the ones that have been found were written on thin sheets of lead (more accurately pewter) using a stylus (and have thus lasted 2,000 or more years). They were then rolled up with the writing on the inside and placed in a location where the curse would have maximum effect, like the home of the victim. A person could be cursed for innumerable reasons, including theft, murder, shady business deals and even envy. The text on the tabulae defixiones were usually addressed to a god who was to enact the punishment and listed the reasons for the curse and the suspects of the slight if he or she wasn’t known to the curser. The curse itself could be for just about anything; forgetting the words to a speech, sexual impotence, shriveling of limbs and appendages, or becoming dizzy during an important moment. But the language was usually colorful and verbose, often including qualifiers such as, “whoever committed this” or “if he is guilty.” Curses often included nonsensical “curse words” which may have leant some sort of efficacy to the curse and some tabulae defixiones were accompanied by small figurines that were sometimes pierced by nails, similar to a Voodoo doll.

Here’s an excellent example of a Roman curse, found in Bath, England:

“May he who carried off Vilbia from me become liquid as the water; may she who so obscenely ate her lose the power of speech; whether the culprit be Velvinna, Exsupereus, Severinus, Augustalis, Comitanius, Catusminianus, Germinalla or Jovina.”

I wonder what the phrase “ate her” means. In any event, as with most fun things Roman, cursing people died out as Christianity took hold, but the curses that have been found provide keen insight into the hopes, desires, and wishes of every day Romans. I’ll bet life would be more colorful if we had curses today though.

New al-Qaida Production – Straight to Video:

Ayman al-Zawahiri, al-Qaida’s second in command, released a new video tape recently. It’s no Girls Gone Wild, by any means, but it’s still pretty interesting. In this video, al-Zawahiri informs us that the United States is failing (“defeated”) in Iraq and is simply looking for an exit strategy. He says, “The reports from Iraq tell of the growth of the mujahedeen and the collapse of the Americans' circumstances.” By “growth” Ayman means “collapse in numbers”, and by “mujahedeen” he means “guys with American targets painted on their heads.” He’s confused.

Al-Zawahiri also stated that Sunni Arab tribes are traitors who are the recipients of “oceans of bribes” from the Americans. No, they’re not tired of their children being burned alive or their relatives having their heads cut off, they simply like the good old fashioned American dollar (at least someone does nowadays).

Of course, in the same video he says, “We are seeing a triple failure for the Americans in Iraq. No matter how much the gigantic propaganda machine in America tries to deceive the people, the reality is stronger and worse than all the deceptions.” So we’re all clear: do not believe American propaganda machine, believe instead al-Qaida propaganda machine. Got it. Reality is stronger than propaganda, and it’s worse than all the deceptions. Which is why no one believes that the insurgents are presently winning; reality simply doesn’t support that. I’m sure, however, that al-Qaida’s target audience will likely believe Ayman “Honest Injun” al-Zawahiri’s propaganda vice ours.

In the video, al-Zawahiri wore a white robe and turban and sat in front of Islamic theology and law books, i.e. copies of the Quran and various other books full of quoted Quranic verses.

Word of the Day: Unfledged (adjective): 1. Lacking the feathers necessary for flight. 2. Not fully developed; immature. Al-Zawahiri has an unfledged perception of the success of the mujahedeen.

On This Day in History:

Pope Clement establishes a parallel body to the Inquisition in Portugal (1531). General Ulysses S Grant issues General Order No. 11, which expels Jews from Tennessee, Mississippi, and Kentucky (1862).

The Wright Brothers make their first powered flight at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina (1903). The US Air Force closes out Project Blue Book, stating that UFO sightings were the result of a “mild form of mass hysteria” (1969).

Brigadier General James Dozier was abducted by the Red Brigade in Verona, Italy (1981). He was eventually rescued by Italian anti-terrorist forces after 42 days. I met this guy. He would be the first one to tell you that his force protection methods were grossly negligent and resulted in his relatively easy capture.

The Roman festival Saturnalia, in honor of Saturn, god of agriculture and harvest, began.

“In the absence of justice, what is sovereignty but organized robbery?” – Saint Augustine of Hippo

“That government is best which governs least.” – Thomas Paine“Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?” – Will Rogers

Morning Coffee (79)

Welcome to another weekend edition of the Morning Coffee. Weekend editions of the MC are like that coffee made from the beans that have gone through the digestive track of the palm civet: rare, expensive, and delicious. Also, it's not bad for something that you have to wade through the mental feces of other media in order to get it.

The Mitchell Report – Fingered by McNamee:

I had no real intention of discussing the Mitchell Report on the Morning Coffee, despite baseball being the only sport I watch. For those who don’t know, the Mitchell Report was commissioned by Major League Baseball to investigate the use of performance enhancing drugs by players, former and present. You can read the entire thing HERE. It’s actually somewhat interesting.

I love baseball, and I was a little worried about how I would feel about it after reading the report. I likened it somewhat to the strike of 1994 when fans abandoned the sport in droves. Luckily, after reading it, I still consider myself an avid fan. The sport has a problem, and hopefully the leadership and players are able to come to grips with that and make an effort to fix it.

Anyway, my point is not to get into a huge, long discussion about the Mitchell Report. I could, but I won’t. The Morning Coffee is not the place; maybe the City of Dis, but not our beloved MC. But I wanted to point out to you something that if found supremely hilarious: the main witness and/or informant that Mitchell used is a man by the name of Brian McNamee. The man who “named names” is named McNamee. Does anyone else think that is ironic?

More Political Politicking by Pencil-Necked Politicians:

I know I said I’d try to keep politics out of the MC for a time, but this one is simply too good to pass up. Peggy Noonan of the Wall Street Journal wrote an article recently called “The Pulpit and the Potemkin Village.” You can read it HERE. I recommend it. She talks about how religion has become something of a defining factor in today’s Presidential politics and some other interesting things (if you do not know what a Potemkin village is…find out). Anyway, one passage struck me, as I touched on it in previous editions. In it, she talks about illegal immigration, specifically, but I think the gist can easily be applied to any issue.

“Hillary Clinton is not up at night worrying about the national-security implications of open borders in the age of terror. She's up at night worrying about whether to use Mr. Obama's position on driver's licenses for illegals against him in ads or push polls.”

This is precisely the point. Not one of these Presidential “hopefuls” actually worries about much of anything other than how to spin someone else’s “opinion/beliefs/ideas” and use them against them. I wonder if any of them, save perhaps Ron Paul and maybe Mike Huckabee (the former, crazy; the latter one shade shy of being a fundamentalist Christian), have any beliefs/opinions/ideas at all that aren’t provided to them by the latest polls or political strategists; Hillary may just be the worst offender.

You may point out the aforementioned Paul and Huckabee as having beliefs, and this is true. But beliefs alone do not make policies, and in both their cases, I think they are dangerous to that for which our country stands.

There are 300 million Americans in this country, and maybe 50 million illegal immigrants, and the best we can muster is the group of troglodytes that make up the Presidential Hopeful Class of 2008?

Here’s a side tidbit of information for you: Huckabee says that “American foreign policy needs to change its tone and attitude, open up, and reach out.” Probably true to a large extent. But then he goes on to say, “My administration will recognize that the United States’ main fight today does not pit us against the world but pits the world against the terrorists.” Has he never heard of the People’s Republic of China? What about a newly wealthy Russia re-equipped with long-range nuclear aviation patrols and a carrier battle group tour of the Mediterranean? India perhaps? What about Iran? The European Union? Africa? Saudi Arabia and Syria and Venezuela? All of these nations and entities would prefer American power be eroded and our influence marginalized. While I agree with Huckabee that the application of American power and influence (what little we have anymore) would be more effective if used in other ways, it really does sound like it’s, well, us pitted against the world. Thus is geopolitics, which Huck may or may not actually comprehend. I understand his point; that being playing to the fears of Americans, but it would be nice if someone spoke with some candor for once about the real threat to American power and our way of life: virtually everyone that isn’t us…okay, and us too.

The Surreptitious Success of the Surge:

With glacial speed, mainstream media outlets have begun to report on the successes of the American fighting man and President Bush and General Petreaus’ Surge in Iraq. It sort of snuck up on us. Bad news upon bad news, and then, BAM, the news became kind of good; real good, in fact. Violence all throughout Iraq has plummeted. Imagine that the numbers are so staggeringly good that it’s become almost impossible for the media or liberals to refute it. Indeed, they say that it cannot last or is a fluke or is only etc, etc. But almost none of them actually have the gumption to suggest that the 30,000 troop increase has not been effective.

Many people might, however, think that this success is merely the nefarious efforts of al-Qaida; a sly way of undermining American politics and policies. However, al-Qaida, as indicated by their statements preceding the 2004 election, would prefer a Democrat as President. This is not to say that a Democrat would necessarily abandon the ridiculously named “War on Terror” once he (or she) was privy to the realities of the office of President, but al-Qaida would still prefer to not see a Republican in the White House in 2009. It is in al-Qaida in Iraq’s (AQI) interest to continue to inflict deaths upon our military, lest they appear weak. I will tell you what many are afraid to: AQI and their ilk are being broken. Iraqis are tired of them, and they’re being reported. Fallujah, once a haven, is now a very bad place to be an insurgent. They may or may not make a surge for themselves in the future, but right now they’re being slapped around pretty good. This is why it is imperative that the Iraqis have a strong military and police force of their own, or our efforts will have been for naught. Eventually, we will have to leave and they will stand or fall on their own.

Even Rep. John Murtha (D-PA), who has been one of Congress’ most vocal critics of the war, has said of the Surge, “it’s working”; said after he made a visit to Iraq in November. This comment has been latched upon by Republicans who are overjoyed that the Surge has won over such a critic. Murtha addressed the press after he returned from Iraq, and those two words are the only bit from the whole thing that Republicans cite. He said much more. He was still critical of the Bush administration and said that the Iraqis must begin to take care of themselves, no matter how well the Surge works. Converted to the Surge, yes, but he’s still adamant that we need to be out of there as soon as possible.

I am not privy to the inner workings of the Bush mind, but I don’t think that he believed that the Surge would work as well as it has. I think he was just throwing some numbers at the problem and got lucky. His luck might have been to the detriment of our Armed Forces, but that’s an issue for another time…and for another President.

Word of the Day: Draconian (adjective): 1. Pertaining to Draco, a lawgiver of Athens, 621 BCE. 2. Excessively harsh; severe. One of my favorite words.

On This Day in History: The infamous Nero was born (37 CE). One of the greatest Byzantine Emperors, Basil II “The Bulgar Slayer” died (1025 CE) (imagine a US President with a moniker like that.) The US Bill of Rights becomes law after being ratified by the Virginia legislature (1791). General Douglas MacArthur orders that Shinto be abolished as the state religion of Japan (1945). Abolished. Can you imagine? The US has actually abolished a state religion of another nation (admittedly, a defeated one).

The Roman festival Consuales Ludi was held, which honored the god Consus, the god of counsel and the protector of the harvest which is being stored. Additionally, the Rape of the Sabine Women took place on this day. Romulus, seeing the need to increase the population of Rome, authorized each Roman male to forcibly abduct and take as his wife a woman from the visiting Sabine tribe. This story is likely apocryphal. The Book of Judges has a similar story.

“There is no security on this earth; there is only opportunity.” – General Douglas MacArthur

Morning Coffee (78)

As I came into work today, I was listening to a massive mix CD I created a couple of years ago. It has just a shade over 100 tracks on it. Just after I got on base, a song by the German band The Scorpions called “Winds of Change” came on; perhaps you know it. It’s about, well, the winds of change; specifically the winds that swept Eastern Europe during the fall of the Soviet Union. The song itself, while good, is not nearly the best I’ve ever heard, but it evokes something in me that is hard to explain. Allow me, dear reader, to try. Can you imagine experiencing such…liberation? Can you imagine seeing and hearing, nay – living!, events such as those described in that song? Can you imagine the cool breeze from winds such as those felt in Lithuania, Estonia, Georgia, Moldova and Armenia; how refreshing it must have been? You’ve lived under the yoke of tyranny and ineptitude your entire life, and in the road ahead, you glimpse endless possibilities never before presented to you. It’s difficult to put ourselves in that place.

Another song captures for me the feelings of that moment in time, which I think was one of the most significant periods in the last 100 years (perhaps much longer) but this one is sung from a slightly different perspective. “Right Here, Right Now” by the British band Jesus Jones describes those events as an observer, not as living those events as did someone in East Germany, but watching them. Again, the overwhelming rush of relief. Perhaps, people then thought, we needn’t live in constant fear of nuclear war. What a weight that was lifted. The exuberance. Watching the world wake up from history. These songs, perhaps, put the world into perspective a little for me. They make me feel good to be alive. It pains me ever so slightly that I missed out on the chance to be a part of the awe-inspiring power of momentous, leviathan-esque events such as those. I knew even back then that I was witnessing things of significant, but precocious as I may have been at 10, I couldn’t have possibly fully comprehended what was happening. Nevertheless, I am pleased that I can sit where I am right now and read about the August Coup of 1991 and be amazed at those times.

I wish I could fully encapsulate and explain in succinct terms how these songs move me; perhaps they move you too. Or perhaps you’re dead, or simply too numbed from countless hours of “Heroes” and “American Idol” to feel good to be alive; to be alive where you are, when you are. I hope these songs, or something else, makes you wake up from history.

Political Nausea (cont):

For as much as I despise about politics, it sure seems I write about it a lot, no? All the above warm and fuzzy feelings about change and being alive drain from me like the blood from a slaughtered pig.

A top advisor in the Clinton campaign thinks that Democrats should give more thought to Obama’s admission of drug use. He said that Obama’s “spotty youth” could cause trouble for him if he were to secure the Democratic nomination. I don’t see what this has to do with anything. At least Obama had the cajones to admit that he did drugs. Bill claimed he didn’t inhale. Come on. For one, you’ll be hard pressed to find a large number of people who didn’t experiment with drugs back then and even now. And most of them grew up to be responsible adults. It goes back to not being able to make mistakes and learn from them. This sort of stuff tells our children, “Why bother ever growing up, and growing from your mistakes? If you make any mistakes, you might as well forget about ever becoming anything. You will forever be held back by the foolish things you might have done in your youth, especially if you admit them and speak candidly about them.” Obama was stupid for using drugs. But the man rose above what could have been a life of being a punk. Shouldn’t that be something to sort of celebrate? Especially for liberals like Hillary? In addition to pointing out the hypocrisy of liberals, this tactic serves to show us that Clinton has no vision beyond attacking Obama. Why not tell me more about what she believe, what her background is, why she’d make a good president? Her entire campaign seems to revolve around “electability” and how Obama has none and she has it all. But people are generally stupid, and despite the fact that they themselves probably used drugs and made mistakes, they’ll believe that drug use and other mistakes 30 years ago make a bad person in the now, and they’ll not nominate Obama even if he is more qualified for the job.

Since I don’t want this, our beloved Morning Coffee, to turn into a chronic political missive (of which we have enough), I will try to avoid political issues, despite my overwhelming urge to comment on the insanity. However, I reserve the right to comment if I must.

American Anorexia in the Middle East:

I don’t normally quote large amounts of text in the Morning Coffee. I like you to taste what I’ve brewed, rather than another. I’m possessive like that, I guess. But a portion of Thomas L. Friedman’s recent article in the New York Times, “Losing Weight in the Gulf”, was simply too good to pass up. Friedman wrote the critically acclaimed book, “The World is Flat.”

“Growing up in Minnesota, one of my favorite things was going to the state fair each summer and watching the guy who would guess your weight within 5 pounds. If you fooled him, you won a stuffed animal.

Out here on the Persian Gulf, where small countries learn quickly how to survive large predators, they’ve developed a similar skill: They can calculate a country’s power within 5 pounds, just by looking at it. If they’re wrong, they end up as a stuffed animal.

Right now, the Arab Gulf states are all sizing up America, their protector, and are wondering just how much Uncle Sam weighs in the standoff with Iran — and whether it will be enough to keep Iran at bay.

The Gulf Arabs feel like they have this neighbor who has been a drug dealer for 18 years. Recently, this neighbor has been very visibly growing poppies for heroin in his backyard in violation of the law. He’s also been buying bigger and better trucks to deliver drugs. You can see them parked in his driveway.

In the past year, though, because of increased police patrols and all the neighbors threatening to do something, this suspicious character has shut down the laboratory in his basement to convert poppies into heroin. In the wake of that, the police declared that he is no longer a drug dealer.

“But wait,” say the Gulf Arabs, “he’s still growing poppies. He was using them for heroin right up to 2003. Now he says he’s in the flower business. He’s not in the flower business. He’s dealing drugs. And he’s still expanding the truck fleet to deliver them. How can you say he’s no longer a drug dealer?”

Sorry, say the police. We have a very technical, legal definition of drug-dealing, and your neighbor no longer fits it.

That’s basically what has happened between the U.S. and Iran — just substitute enriched uranium for poppies. Now, Bush officials are trying to tell everyone: “No, no, Iran is still dangerous. You have to keep the coalition together to get Tehran to stop enriching uranium.” But in a world where everyone is looking for an excuse to do business with Iran, not to sanction it, we’ve lost leverage. Everyone in the neighborhood can smell it — and it worries them.”

So clear a caveman could understand the issues. The article is, as you might have guessed, about our problems with Iran, specifically the whole NIE thing. The NIE has resulted in the total collapse of US leverage against Iran. Russia and China have been dreaming of a chance to quash the possibility of strict sanctions against Iran, and low and behold, they’ve got the chance, and we gave it to them. The perception is now that Iran poses no threat to anything. The problem is, they’re still running their centrifuges. “That is the hardest part of building nuclear weapons, and Iran is still doing it,” says Gary Samore, director of studies at the Council on Foreign Relations and former Clinton administration expert on proliferation.

Iran is still in violation of UN proliferation rules (enriching uranium, testing long-range missiles). Iran agreed to these rules. Israeli officials estimate that the Iranians will have a viable nuclear weapon by 2010 – which may seem like a long time from now. French President Sarkozy is still very skeptical and worries about war in the Middle East. This will not be the last you hear about this issue, from me or otherwise, I’m sure.

Word of the Day: Cacophony (noun): 1. Harsh or discordant sound; dissonance. 2. The use of harsh or discordant sounds in literary composition. When I think of Presidential elections, I think of a cacophony.

On This Day in History: The Council of Trent, a response to the Protestant Reformation, begins (1545). Read about it, it’s pretty interesting. Tellus, the Roman goddess personifying the Earth was worshiped on the Esquiline Hill in Rome, and a table was spread for Ceres, the god of agriculture.

“I follow the Moskva, down to Gorky Park, listening to the winds of change. An August summer night, soldiers passing by, listening to the winds of change…the future’s in the air, blowing with the winds of change.” – “Winds of Change”, Scorpions.

“A woman on the radio talks about revolution when it’s already passed her by. Bob Dylan didn’t have this to sing about, you know it feels good to be alive. I saw the decade in when it seemed the world could change in a blink of an eye. And if anything then there’s your sign of the times. I was alive and I waited for this: right here, right now…watching the world wake up from history.” – “Right Here, Right Now”, Jesus Jones.

Morning Coffee (77)

Yesterday’s Morning Coffee was terrible. See, the first half was brewed with success, but then the Coffee filter developed a gaping hole, and all the incoherent grounds spilled forth into the pot. My apologies. Try as I may, one should not expect Pulitzer Prize worthy brew every day.

Ahmadine-Blog:

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is a fellow blogger, as reports the New York Times. This is rife with irony. The President of Iran blogging in a country where most people cannot blog at all; censorship is so widespread in Iran that Mahmoud’s own blog was actually blocked for a whole day. Interestingly, his blog allows for the posting of comments, all of which are first reviewed before being posted. Obviously. If you were to read this blog, you would notice that comments by Westerners are generally more biting than those from Iranians, which generally praise Mahmoud and his government. You’d think, “Wow, they do allow some free thought and criticism.” Then you’d think, “Wow, Iranians love this guy.” Then you’d take a sip of Morning Coffee and realize that that is exactly what Mahmoud had in mind when he started this little propaganda device. Allowing angry tirades by (inarticulate) Americans merely illustrates Mahmoud’s point that we are belligerent war-mongers, and it shows that Mahmoud is capable of standing dissent. Allowing loving Persian praise, by people that live in Iran with a firsthand perspective, shows that he’s not as bad as we make him out to be. Nothing that goes on his blog is posted without being massaged, and that is the beauty of this sort of propaganda. Frankly, all of the comments posted could have been written by Iranian officials; there’s no way to know for sure.

One of Mahmoud’s posts refers to the prodigious freedoms that average Iranians have, such as the right of students to protest. He says, “It was a joyous feeling to see a small group insult the elected president of people fearlessly amid a majority.” Look closely at that sentence. The verbiage is very interesting. “Small group; insult; elected; of people; amid a majority.” I get the idea that the protesters’ opinions are on the fringe, and that they were allowed to insult the elected leader, despite incurring the ridicule of the majority, is a great thing. These students may very well have protested fearlessly, but if that was the case it was more the result of naiveté than a genuine right to dissent. Mahmoud has an odd way of showing joy over dissent in his country; most of the students involved are now in prison.

I found one comment mildly amusing though. Ibrahim Sadegh-al thanked the president for creating more jobs with his visionary economic policies. Before these policies, there were only two gas stations in Ibrahim’s town, and only one was open at any given time. Now Ibrahim says there are 3,000 people selling fuel. Can anyone say, “black market?”

Political Nausea:

I’m really to the point where I become physically and psychologically ill when I read about politics. No, scratch that. It’s not politics with which I have a problem, since that is an abstract. It’s the practitioners of politics that make me ill. Below are a few issues, none of which I’ll bloviate about for long.

Is it me, or has the election cycle become so dragged out that it seems to have actually started before any of the candidates were born? It’s becoming analogous to Christmas: it starts earlier and earlier every year. This leaves politicians plenty of time to actually do their jobs, since they have to begin running for the next election immediately after being elected.

I read an article that stated that most of Hillary Clinton’s supporters are with her simply because of Bill Clinton. Then I thought, “Boy, I’d really feel crappy if people were voting for me because of their adulation for my spouse.” But you know what? I’ll bet it doesn’t even matter to Hillary, or anyone else seeking power, er, public office. She, for example, doesn’t seem to have an original idea in her head. She was oh-so-close to power, and now wants to experience it for herself. Whatever happened to those reluctant leaders, leaders who assumed the mantle not because they wanted power, but because they were needed? The colonies would have made Washington a virtual king, but he retired. Then you have the famous Cincinnatus, called to Roman service to save the city, he was given absolute power and could have ruled as a dictator for life, but he returned to his life as a farmer. Now we’re left with power drunk morons who will do nearly anything to gain and keep power; who would rather die in office than relinquish that power and who long ago became void of any desire or ability to effect positive change. They feel as if they’re the shepherds and we are but the flock, and it is their duty to grip and wield the power we gave them because we haven’t the ability or comprehension to do it ourselves. We have, in essence, an aristocracy. Why do you think term limits will never exist for our Congress? Fields become unproductive if crops are not rotated and the earth tilled and turned over from time to time. Leadership is no different.

The Drudge Report cites internal DNC officials who state that Mike Huckabee shall not be subject to attack ads until after he secures the nomination for President. They view him as being easily defeated in the general election, and are waiting until he is nominated to unleash their assault. They also claim to have a lot more on him than pardons and HIV faux pas. The leak could be that they’re scared of him though, and are merely bluffing. Either way, I retch.

Mitt Romney says that attacking someone’s religion is “really going too far.” Okay, maybe attacking a religion is going too far, but why is questioning someone’s religion a taboo? The majority of Americans don’t the first thing about Mormonism, and what they do know is not likely to be very objective, so it’s entirely reasonable that he get, and answer, questions posed to him about it. But we all know that beliefs are unquestionable. Same with feelings. “I know that (X), but this is the way I feel (Y)…and I believe this.” This pretty much automatically makes any challenge impossible. People must be allowed to have their beliefs and feeling no matter how illogical and/or stupid they may be. Americans have a right to know what sort of beliefs are espoused by Mormonism, and the man who aspires to be the first Mormon President has a duty to supply those answers; to articulate how his faith will “inform” his leadership.

Shooting Spree Update:

It appears that Jeanne Assam, the security guard whose pistol hand was steadied by God, might not have actually killed Matthew Murray. The coroner has ruled Murray’s death was the result of suicide, despite him being struck multiple times by Assam. It turns out Murray shot himself in the head. I am curious as to the location of the bullet wounds from Assam’s pistol. I guess God wasn’t too steadying after all. Well, perhaps steadying was God’s effort, but imparting accuracy just wasn’t his bag.

Also of note, Assam was fired from her job as a police officer in 1997 for lying during an investigation into whether or not she swore at a bus driver. Tsk, tsk.

Prior to the shooting, Murray had left messages on an internet forum stating that he wanted to kill Christians. Apparently, the language he used was almost identical to that used by the late Eric Harris. Interesting…

Word of the Day: Dishabille (dis-uh-BEEL) (noun): 1. The state of being careless or partially dressed. 2. Casual or lounging attire. 3. An intentionally careless or casual manner.

On This Day in History: Crusaders lay siege to and breech the walls of Ma’arrat al-Numan and kill about 20,000 inhabitants. Then, observing their lack of sufficient food, they decide to dine on the inhabitants flesh to ward off that pesky hunger (1098).

"But I think attacking someone's religion is really going too far. It's just not the American way, and I think people will reject that." – Mitt Romney on the “Today Show.” Said while thinking to himself that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the only true church and that everyone in the room, and most Americans, will be unable to reach the highest levels of heaven.